I'm Sorry

I spent three days in the hospital. It was so lame. I'm kind of just getting my energy back but as always. It was really weird because I was having "hallucinations" that to me seemed absolutely real. I have never experienced that in my life.

As many of you know I have this non-malignant brain tumor and I'm hoping that its removal or adjustment of whatever will keep me normal. The seizures make things difficult.

Between the constant fear of seizures and intermittent relapsing on alcohol every few months it feels nonstop. I'm so happy to have all of you guys.
 
Keif' Richards said:
I spent three days in the hospital. It was so lame. I'm kind of just getting my energy back but as always. It was really weird because I was having "hallucinations" that to me seemed absolutely real. I have never experienced that in my life.

As many of you know I have this non-malignant brain tumor and I'm hoping that its removal or adjustment of whatever will keep me normal. The seizures make things difficult.

Between the constant fear of seizures and intermittent relapsing on alcohol every few months it feels nonstop. I'm so happy to have all of you guys.
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The best to you.
Always you are in my heart ! ♡
 
Thank you for your endurance to support with overwhelming obstacles and most of all for always being the help when necessary.

Keep shining on this whole world and making the universe bright too.

Keir' Rrrr.
My cousin had a benign tumor like that removed from surgery and did just fine too. She got married, had a baby and adopted too. She lived many years already. It's common for this to happen but may you always make it through !!

Keep doing fine and stay strong with all of the great support that you deserve so well.

TY w ❤ ! and happiness to you ☺💗
❣❣
 
Hello everybody 😆😀😃😁

I believe this is the place where peeps come for their news about me. Working title? The Keif' Greif.

I have been in the hospital for a couple of daysbecause of my liver, creatine and my kidneys not playing nicely. Before people freak, it has not been bad at all. I have indica tincture and I'm basically just getting lactated ringers around the clock trying to normalize things.

I have a lot wrong between my liver and the myoclonic episodes, but I want to let you know that you have all helped me see things as much less bleak and much more manageable. It will all get sorted out and my situation is not terminal.

I was delirious the other day and woke up in the hospital, but I'm gonna have my phone and will be able to respond to threads and PM's more consistently. As always, love you guys.
 
Keif' Richards said:
Hello everybody 😆😀😃😁

I believe this is the place where peeps come for their news about me. Working title? The Keif' Greif.

I have been in the hospital for a couple of daysbecause of my liver, creatine and my kidneys not playing nicely. Before people freak, it has not been bad at all. I have indica tincture and I'm basically just getting lactated ringers around the clock trying to normalize things.

I have a lot wrong between my liver and the myoclonic episodes, but I want to let you know that you have all helped me see things as much less bleak and much more manageable. It will all get sorted out and my situation is not terminal.

I was delirious the other day and woke up in the hospital, but I'm gonna have my phone and will be able to respond to threads and PM's more consistently. As always, love you guys.
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You are good, 👍🏼 right !!

I can't keep up. I can't.

I have funny hospital stories too. 😁😎
 
O
Keif' Richards said:
Guys, it is really hard for me to say this. I've been with you all for a long time and you've all been with me too. I love you all and care so much for you.

I think you all know I have medical problems. Basically, my liver is in bad shape which is causing me a great deal of nausea, pain and misery.

Because of everything that is going on in the world currently, I have been unable to work.

I rely pretty heavily on medical cannabis to eat, sleep and exist. It is so hard for me to say this, but life for me has gotten harder and harder.

There is no support financially for medical marijuana and without it, life is pure misery. I can no longer really afford to live and every minute I do is agony.

I dont want to be a burden on those around me. I dont want my pain to be passed on to others. I've spent my life taking and I dont want to take any more.

Not being able to afford my copays was the final nail in my coffin. I'm choosing to end my life while I have the power and dignity to do so.

I don't intend for this to be theatrical. I care so much about you all and even those of you who I've yet to meet or have even joined.

I'm going to be around for a few days guys. I just cant take the pain. I wish there were another way. I love you all.
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Keif' Richards said:
Hey everybody! It is official that I am no longer in what seemed like a totally hopeless situation. I have been depressed before, no doubt, but experiencing Pregabalin withdrawal, extreme nausea and 5 days with no more than 2 hours a night.

Im pretty sure KeifAid has reached ita zenith. It never mattered what the number was. You have helped me in a practical way by helping me get well. You have helped me equally as well by showing me such love. Most importantly, my ego has been well-nourished.

We all know how big Keif's ego is ;) I truly love you guys. I love you more than I have loved essentially all women. My own Mother is aware of my medical need for bud. She didn't care enough to help me, aside from letting me deposit money into her account.

That is a whole other can of fucking worms, but seriously, Bluelight cares about me more than my direct family. Jesus that is a hard pill to swallow.

PhtaTek, I have cried many times this week. Ive cried over my own misery and Ive cried from the overwhelming love and support. My tears of sadness have turned to tears of joy. Thank you all 😁
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Keef! I am so glad.
I've read and enjoyed your posts before and was really appalled when I saw start of this thread....
I will read rest of thread properly when I have time but for now ...
I've gathered that you aren't terminally ill, but have been acutely suffering...I have been there. My mother killed herself seven years ago too.
This is sort of a negative way of putting it, but along with one of my favourite authors Celine (horrible man, great writer), I say fuck suicide and stay on the "journey to the end of the night" even when the "night" seems black indeed, and no matter how long it's been since the dawn ...SOMETHING always changes eventually! Nothing is more certain.
Speaking for myself my life has been unalleviated poverty and horror for ten years in many ways. But to hell with it. I don't care what people think of my apparent total "failure" anymore. On the face of it I have lost practically everything. All the same I still have some fun in my own way sometimes😆❤️❤️❤️😌
Hope you do too!
 
I know these are posts from May and stuff and Keif does not know me, but is he doing ok? I read his posts alot and respect his wisdom. Is he accepting thru Cashapp? Keep me informed as I would like to help.
 
xaddictx said:
I know these are posts from May and stuff and Keif does not know me, but is he doing ok? I read his posts alot and respect his wisdom. Is he accepting thru Cashapp? Keep me informed as I would like to help.
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As of late may the last time we talk through text he’s doing fine. He appears sporadically, and from what I gathered he was blown away by the support. I’m not sure if he’s still in the same financial situation but the last thing I offered he didn’t take you can try to message him and ask. He’s an amazing dude
 
FuneralFather said:
As of late may the last time we talk through text he’s doing fine. He appears sporadically, and from what I gathered he was blown away by the support. I’m not sure if he’s still in the same financial situation but the last thing I offered he didn’t take you can try to message him and ask. He’s an amazing dude
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Thanx for that FF
 
hy, I'm doing so terrible that I forgot what I needed to ask you. Really. But at least I can still heal but it is slowly. L8ls.
 
Keif' Richards said:
Guys, it is really hard for me to say this. I've been with you all for a long time and you've all been with me too. I love you all and care so much for you.

I think you all know I have medical problems. Basically, my liver is in bad shape which is causing me a great deal of nausea, pain and misery.

Because of everything that is going on in the world currently, I have been unable to work.

I rely pretty heavily on medical cannabis to eat, sleep and exist. It is so hard for me to say this, but life for me has gotten harder and harder.

There is no support financially for medical marijuana and without it, life is pure misery. I can no longer really afford to live and every minute I do is agony.

I dont want to be a burden on those around me. I dont want my pain to be passed on to others. I've spent my life taking and I dont want to take any more.

Not being able to afford my copays was the final nail in my coffin. I'm choosing to end my life while I have the power and dignity to do so.

I don't intend for this to be theatrical. I care so much about you all and even those of you who I've yet to meet or have even joined.

I'm going to be around for a few days guys. I just cant take the pain. I wish there were another way. I love you all.
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Dude over the years your posts have been very helpful to me. You can definitely turn this around & turn it into a positive situation. Easier said than done, I know. I've been there too; I tried to end it all & failed. Now I help people for a living. Everyone's situation is different. Sometimes all it takes is one person with an encouraging comment that can change a life & death situation. I am praying for you that you will be able to find a way to overcome this huge storm in your life.
Thanx for keeping us updated on what's going on.
 
Found out my dad claimed me as a dependent last year without telling me. That would've solved many problems.

Thanks you so much for all of the love a support guys. When all of this started I got hit by several things at once. Once my lyrica script stopped, my thought process was totally fucked, combined with my family moving out of town, I truly thought this was not something I handle.

So I'm doing better now mentally, but same other stuff. The damn lyrica , no place to stay that's permanent. The seizures make it so hard to do manual labor so I cant find quick work.

Bluelight is my full time gig for now. Thanks for the massive support everyone. I assure you that I feel the very same way about you guys in the community.
 
Keif' Richards said:
Found out my dad claimed me as a dependent last year without telling me. That would've solved many problems.

Thanks you so much for all of the love a support guys. When all of this started I got hit by several things at once. Once my lyrica script stopped, my thought process was totally fucked, combined with my family moving out of town, I truly thought this was not something I handle.

So I'm doing better now mentally, but same other stuff. The damn lyrica , no place to stay that's permanent. The seizures make it so hard to do manual labor so I cant find quick work.

Bluelight is my full time gig for now. Thanks for the massive support everyone. I assure you that I feel the very same way about you guys in the community.
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I feel sick that I have only become aware of this thread today. PM'd you mate.
 
This was a major crisis (for me) when I first saw it. I didn't want to flood him with pms or empathy so I kinda stood back and waited. I see KR posting and it brings me some comfort and assurance that (for now) this trooper will make it and enrich many more lives.
His shelf-life is extended and seems to be on par with his own beautiful self. It is on to the next crisis that will raise up to get knocked the fuck down.
Fuck death... we can and do beat that MF down daily.
@andyturbo
When I read this it freakin had me scrambling to come up with some way to ease the excruciating pain and mind-fuck of not having the meds to keep one "leveled out". It really had me in a tizzy as I know this feeling all too well. LadyAlkaline had the presence of mind to get the ball rolling through some option that was totally new to me and may have been the saving grace, IDK. She has been a voice of reason and bastion of strength (as most momma tigers) and is appreciated much.
Rock on, Kief'... rock on.
<3
@Quickfixgrrl
You are not left out in the help department, either. Ya'll youngins help me evolve as well with all this newfangled techno stuff going on. :) Thanks
 
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