Sobriety.. for now

thegreenhand

thegreenhand

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Messages
4,682
Location
a wooded hollow
What tf is up fam

Haven't been on here much this week. Been taking a long hard look at my drug use and Im thinking it's time for some spiritual reflection. Not battling any addictions right now but I just gotta clear my head from all exogneous substances for a while. Will definitely be popping in here still - I would miss you guys too much otherwise :(

But not with the frequency I've had the past few months. This place can kinda trigger my compulsions and that's just not something I need right now.

Just been feeling really dissociated and amotivational as of late. Internet use has been much higher than I'd like to admit. I guess i gotta count that as an exogneous substance too in a way huh.

Idk i feel like maybe i should see a therapist but i've never gone to one before and it intimidates me. Plus I'm still on my (very anti drug) mom's health insurance and i just dont wanna have the talk with her about finding a therapist. she'd send me to inpatient rehab probably :/
 
I feel everything you said on a spiritual level. Balls deep on methadone and want my life back so bad.

Idk what to do anymore I can't live like this anymore man. Please find yourself.
 
Good on you and good luck. I agree BL can be a bit triggery but it also feels wrong not checking in regularly. It feels like a craving too
 
Atelier3 said:
Good on you and good luck. I agree BL can be a bit triggery but it also feels wrong not checking in regularly. It feels like a craving too
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Haha yes it is a craving for sure. Not one that I feel is a negative though. Just when I let that initial craving lead to giving into more and more cravings. Like I said im not going anywhere but for the time being I gotta step off for the most post. Probably will still pop into N&PD discussion as I’m a geek about that stuff but drug culture for example will just trigger me I think
 
Sobriety is the best wish you the best in it. Done a few stretches to get life in order over the years but i never lasted. But the peace and mental energy you feel its like every day is a better day. When you feel grounded in reality and back on planet earth able to have normal convos in real life again and flow instead of zoned out its really the best life.

Hope everything goes well for you in life.
 
TripSitterNZ said:
Sobriety is the best wish you the best in it. Done a few stretches to get life in order over the years but i never lasted. But the peace and mental energy you feel its like every day is a better day. When you feel grounded in reality and back on planet earth able to have normal convos in real life again and flow instead of zoned out its really the best life.

Hope everything goes well for you in life.
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Thanks man, that's what i need is to feel grounded. I feel really disconnected from the world around me and i feel like ive been using way too much screen time to sort of force my mind into a world that it can make sense of. I don't really have any drug cravings anymore (been trying this for about a month now) but the internet is what i replaced it with. not a path i want to go down and right now im peering over the edge of the rabbit hole so to speak
 
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