Ok, i didn’t really want to write it, i can’t get to that forum no more, it reminds me about the worst time in my life. But to begin with: i took mda exactly a year ago at the music festival in my country. I didn’t test it, i was stupid and naive (i wanted to impress one girl and that was stupid as fuck, because this girl was really not worth any blink from my side, like really). It affected me 6 hours later, i had every little symptom that you can imagine of and that people were writing here. My heart was going crazy, i had something like epilepsy (lack of focus attacks, totally wet, feeling like a numb, panic attacks), my hands were shaking like crazy, derealization (really strong). It was fucked, it was real condition, both physically and spiritual. I didn’t know what’s going on and i was blaming myself constantly. Nothing was getting better, my life was a nightmare. I was making irrational decisions (i lost my friends because of that, but that’s good, it came out that they weren’t real friends). I had that state for circa 3 months (i didn’t have university at that time, due to holidays, thank God). I told my parents about it and they didn’t believe me. Trust me, i was in hell. It was the worst time of my life, by far. I was young and talented man, i was graduating and wanted to get my first job soon and my whole life collapsed from one stupid pill. I was devastated (i guess that’s what lots of you here are feeling).
And You know what? Now i’m totally fine. It was though year, but i’m 95% where i was at the start. It’s not the same, but it’s really near. I’m feeling great, i have a wonderful girlfriend (I have to admit that my girlfriend was really important. She gave me real love and understood me, she wanted to listen, she wanted to take care of me and that really helped me. Without her it could be 10 times harder), finally got my first job (and i’m doing well!!!). Got totally new friends. I think it was the biggest lesson in my life, now i know how to treat people, how to find really valuable people and how to be good to them. Now i understand what’s important in life.
I guess you want to ask me about a remedy. Sorry, but it will be something like others here write. For me, the biggest cure was time and SSRI. SSRI was gamechanger to me, i was taking it for 5 months and i started getting better just after taking it. I had a really small dose (15-30mg, depending on time), but it really cured me. I don’t recommend it to You, because i don’t know how it will work for You, but for me it was the best idea that came to my mind and to my psychiatrist mind. The other thing - time. You won’t be healed in a day, in a week, not even in a month. It took me circa 9 months to be at the point where i am now. And i know that with every month it will be better, but i don’t notice that anymore (i dont think about it, living normal life). I was doing also:
- vitamins, magnesium etc.
- exercising (jogging regulary)
- Lion’s mane and NAC (NAC especially)
- being with people
- not drinking alcohol
- not drinking coffee (oh boy, it was a ride after it, now i drink it normally)
- not doing any drugs at all
I guess that’s all. I am totally fine and trust me, i had every little symptom that you read here in other posts. It was hell, but now i’m fine. Trust me, if i got out from that shit, You can also.
I’m leaving this forum forever (good advice: You should too, even if You’re going through that shit. Reading everything here, it's not good. You should forget (as much as You can of course) about Your state, not dealing with it and thinking about it all the time. Working or learning was great too (not at the start of LTC, but later). Just don't read it, please.). Sorry, it’s just too hard to think about it. I wrote it to people who were just like me. People who thought that there is no hope for them and to people who were thinking about worst scenarios. You can do it, maybe You should give a try to SSRI? But whatever You are doing with medicals, firstly speak to Your doctor and tell him everything. Don’t be shy, he is there to help You.
That’s all folks, everything will be fine. Trust me
