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Mental Health I can’t cope anymore

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kenlee

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 12, 2020
Messages
88
I don’t want to be alive anymore, I am stuck in a relationship where I do most things and my partner just won’t help and I clean up cat poop all day, do chores and there is no happiness in my life and my partner doesn’t make me happy but I am stuck because I can’t look after myself and I get shouted at if something like the tv remote goes missing and someone throws a tantrum and I’ve had about as much as I can take and it’s was so bad tonight I had strong urges to self harm.
I can’t drink enough fluids to stay healthy, I can’t cook and I my teeth are falling out because I can’t look after myself and I can’t cope anymore. I got nobody left and I messed up my life, they put suffering animals to sleep so why can’t they put me to sleep
 
kenlee said:
I don’t want to be alive anymore, I am stuck in a relationship where I do most things and my partner just won’t help and I clean up cat poop all day, do chores and there is no happiness in my life and my partner doesn’t make me happy but I am stuck because I can’t look after myself and I get shouted at if something like the tv remote goes missing and someone throws a tantrum and I’ve had about as much as I can take and it’s was so bad tonight I had strong urges to self harm.
I can’t drink enough fluids to stay healthy, I can’t cook and I my teeth are falling out because I can’t look after myself and I can’t cope anymore. I got nobody left and I messed up my life, they put suffering animals to sleep so why can’t they put me to sleep
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@kenlee

How are you doing today?

You got a lot of replys in your other thread - was it helpful?

Tomorrow might be the best day of your live.

But that may be difficult if you're in a toxic relationship. How long have you been together?
 
madness00 said:
@kenlee

How are you doing today?

You got a lot of replys in your other thread - was it helpful?

Tomorrow might be the best day of your live.

But that may be difficult if you're in a toxic relationship. How long have you been together?
Click to expand...
not good on a bad ptsd day. I don’t feel listened to in my relationship like my opinion doesn’t matter and I get ignored a lot but I can’t look after myself. At night I lay down put my head on the pillow and get high to have a vacation from reality, I can’t feel my body and I float away and that’s how I cope.
 
Can you try looking out for yourself while still in your relationship? Take control of what's yours? And then once you've learned to be independent you could reevaluate your living situation with your SO?

Also, do you see a doctor?
 
I’ve been seeing a doctor for years and I never get any help or support from the nhs, I would say our mental health system is worst ever. If you are a simple case then maybe they help but if you are complicated not so much.
I can’t really figure things out but hopefully my new medicine from the ground will help me figure things out.
 
Ahhh, like the US then: Everything is going to pot (not in a good way). Overloaded and in need of an updated revision, IMO. All an opinion, of course. :rolleyes:

Hate it that you cannot get the care you wish from the powers that be. I have some BS micky mouse insurance that pays for some shit but not another. Seems to always come out of pocket, IMO/E in some way. Think short-cuts were not a thing for me when younger as I would always run into some kinda road-block, always. Still to this day I try to make the effort (haha) to go the extra mile but sometimes it can be quite wearisome and draining. Too much and one seems to fade/disappear if you will, ya know? If it is worth it and there is some kinda growth then I am on board as things may eventually get better (hopefully/optimally). Then again; if the situation was such that there was darkness/death all about I fucking bounce with a quickness. Real sh**.
Not sure the whole situation but did think that instead of trying to help; just respond and make a mf feel like somebody out there. ;)
Damn, though. Kind of a tight spot. Seen it. Seen it in others irl.
What is it you would do or wish to do if you were freed from this?
Best,
Ptah
 
I don't know what to do anymore. the time before i always coped with this and that but today morning i woke up and i knew this time im fucked - Im really depressed the fiirst time in my entire lilfe. Oh god, it feels so bad. I don't know what to do instead Benzo-induced sleeping...

JJ
 
JoEhJoEh said:
I don't know what to do anymore. the time before i always coped with this and that but today morning i woke up and i knew this time im fucked - Im really depressed the fiirst time in my entire lilfe. Oh god, it feels so bad. I don't know what to do instead Benzo-induced sleeping...

JJ
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Same here I’m leaving my girl of 7 years to go live with my mom and help with her 75 year old fiancé. She helps manage my SSDI so there’s 3k for stakes. Idk if she’s going to want 1200 a month or tell me to hit the bricks if I don’t. Considering it’s my money. But that’s talking before I know. But I’ve got 2 2mg klonopin left and a long weekend with my SO I’m doing my best not to take this one until I really need it. But I’m really about to just take it now. Depending on whether or not I need to drive to eat
 
My stupid solution to this day is now 10 mg Clona and 5 Eti. Now a joint and going to bed. What a fuck

JJ
 
...ageingpartyfiend, IF i am lucky there is some sleep. I'm a high doser. But I try it with a Jay in Combi. That normally helps. Hopefully.
 
hi kenlee,

i heard about it the last times more t, could you pls explain that to me?

JJ
 
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