Drugs & Fam?

[Cfmk20]

RANT: Not for sure if this is the right place to even post this, if not please inform/remove it. My drug use is very hidden. Or so I thought. My significant other is the only one who actually knows and well we do it together for the most part.

I legit just got grilled the fuck out of by my family I've always been the family fuck up so it's nothing new really. I'm lost like I don't even know what to do I felt like I was a inch tall if that. Mentally shit ain't been good as is now this. I ain't going to be like nah y'all are crazy and then come up with a million lies to cover it & so on.

I feel humiliated. They said that they have been comparing my pictures side by side over the past while. Which is kinda a punch in the face. & Idk I've pushed my limits today for sure more than I ever have just to forget it.

Anyone else have anything like this happen? How did you handle it?

 

[deficiT]

It's hard to hide use up to a certain point. Inevitably your fams catches on if you're around them enough it seems. And after a certain point lying to them just digs your hole deeper, because use can be a lot more obvious than we think it is.

It can be super embarrassing but, unless you're relying on them for resources or a place to stay fuck what they think.

But obviously if you using creates a problem with your food/water/shelter situation, then definitely tread carefully.

My family seemed to kind of ignore my fuckups until it got really bad. Luckily they were pretty supportive and gave me a place to stay while I figured shit out.

I know stuff with family can feel extremely serious when it's going on, but keep in mind that you will be able to figure it out, things just take time. Hmu anytime if you need to vent

 

[Cfmk20]

It's hard to hide use up to a certain point. Inevitably your fams catches on if you're around them enough it seems. And after a certain point lying to them just digs your hole deeper, because use can be a lot more obvious than we think it is.

It can be super embarrassing but, unless you're relying on them for resources or a place to stay fuck what they think.

But obviously if you using creates a problem with your food/water/shelter situation, then definitely tread carefully.

My family seemed to kind of ignore my fuckups until it got really bad. Luckily they were pretty supportive and gave me a place to stay while I figured shit out.

I know stuff with family can feel extremely serious when it's going on, but keep in mind that you will be able to figure it out, things just take time. Hmu anytime if you need to vent

Thank you! Right now I for sure need to vent shit is getting to me probably more than it should! I guess we can only hide shit for only a little bit

 

[Wilson Wilson]

If you don't mind me asking, what is your DOC? I'm guessing opiates?

I had this happen but thankfully they were surprisingly supportive in my case. It seriously did surprise me because my mum has straight up told me in the past that she doesn't care if drug addicts overdose because it's their fault anyway.

Of course when it was her own son suddenly she changes her tune. Yeah turns out those despicable street urchin you hate so much are not the only people who use substances to cope and your son who you know full well has autism and other conditions may self-medicate too. Who'd a thunk it?

Anyway in my case they sat me down and said I was acting as if I was drunk all the time but they knew I didn't drink, and that sometimes it seemed like I was on "hard drugs" and they knew something was up.

Not much of a surprise because at the time I was eating benzos and opiates (mostly oxy) like they were sweets. But in my mind I had it under control and was fully functional. In reality not so much.

I obviously cannot speak for your family or anyone else's, I know a lot of people have straight up toxic family relationships, but I could tell my fam was genuinely concerned about me. They didn't get angry and demand to hand over my stash or threaten me with the police or anything like I've read some other families do.

But at that time in my life I was seriously depressed and self-destructive, so I did taper myself off everything (benzos was actually surprisingly easy, oxy much less so).

My girlfriend was worried about me at the same time and supported me through the oxy withdrawal.

These days I use weed as my "coping mechanism" drug more than anything else, but I like to use low benzo doses occasionally and am able to keep my self-control with them fine now I'm no longer on oxy. I do also have anxiety and benzos are honestly just the most effective meds for it.

I've tried oxy twice since kicking and neither time led to me fiending for more. Once time I had a whole strip I was given free and just gave it away.

I don't mean to make the thread about me, just relating my experiences to you in the hope you can relate to some and also to show you that if your use is self-destructive as mine was, there is light at the end of the tunnel especially with a good support network - which in my case was my gf, as I did not want my family knowing the full extent of my use at the time, I only copped to the benzos and didn't mention opiates.

I will say that, even if your family is being shitty to you, if they can notice a difference in your behaviour despite not finding any stashes etc, you probably are being affected more than you think by your use and others can notice it too. It's a good idea to use this as a moment to reflect. I encourage you to talk it over with someone you trust and who is supportive. If your family isn't that, then your SO or a close friend or someone.

Not telling you what to do or trying to preach to you, but this is an HR forum and I've told you my experience and I was in a very dark place when I was like this myself so I'm looking at it from that POV and just looking out for you. If nothing else it's always good to cut back on your use when it becomes problematic even if you don't feel up to quitting. Drugs are supposed to be fun after all. If they are interfering with your life that's when you should start to consider if you are going down a bad path.

 

[Cfmk20]

If you don't mind me asking, what is your DOC? I'm guessing opiates?

I had this happen but thankfully they were surprisingly supportive in my case. It seriously did surprise me because my mum has straight up told me in the past that she doesn't care if drug addicts overdose because it's their fault anyway.

Of course when it was her own son suddenly she changes her tune. Yeah turns out those despicable street urchin you hate so much are not the only people who use substances to cope and your son who you know full well has autism and other conditions may self-medicate too. Who'd a thunk it?

Anyway in my case they sat me down and said I was acting as if I was drunk all the time but they knew I didn't drink, and that sometimes it seemed like I was on "hard drugs" and they knew something was up.

Not much of a surprise because at the time I was eating benzos and opiates (mostly oxy) like they were sweets. But in my mind I had it under control and was fully functional. In reality not so much.

I obviously cannot speak for your family or anyone else's, I know a lot of people have straight up toxic family relationships, but I could tell my fam was genuinely concerned about me. They didn't get angry and demand to hand over my stash or threaten me with the police or anything like I've read some other families do.

But at that time in my life I was seriously depressed and self-destructive, so I did taper myself off everything (benzos was actually surprisingly easy, oxy much less so).

My girlfriend was worried about me at the same time and supported me through the oxy withdrawal.

These days I use weed as my "coping mechanism" drug more than anything else, but I like to use low benzo doses occasionally and am able to keep my self-control with them fine now I'm no longer on oxy. I do also have anxiety and benzos are honestly just the most effective meds for it.

I've tried oxy twice since kicking and neither time led to me fiending for more. Once time I had a whole strip I was given free and just gave it away.

I don't mean to make the thread about me, just relating my experiences to you in the hope you can relate to some and also to show you that if your use is self-destructive as mine was, there is light at the end of the tunnel especially with a good support network - which in my case was my gf, as I did not want my family knowing the full extent of my use at the time, I only copped to the benzos and didn't mention opiates.

I will say that, even if your family is being shitty to you, if they can notice a difference in your behaviour despite not finding any stashes etc, you probably are being affected more than you think by your use and others can notice it too. It's a good idea to use this as a moment to reflect. I encourage you to talk it over with someone you trust and who is supportive. If your family isn't that, then your SO or a close friend or someone.

Not telling you what to do or trying to preach to you, but this is an HR forum and I've told you my experience and I was in a very dark place when I was like this myself so I'm looking at it from that POV and just looking out for you. If nothing else it's always good to cut back on your use when it becomes problematic even if you don't feel up to quitting. Drugs are supposed to be fun after all. If they are interfering with your life that's when you should start to consider if you are going down a bad path.

I'm glad you shared your story! & I appreciate any information or experience that's given. My actual DOC is actually IV - METH it's the only one I actually crave. But I've only been doing H here lately. Only bc I can't find any. I know its a bad path and deff not the best choices but I do maintain myself I make sure I'm sober around them. I've lost weight but I had been trying to for a while so I didn't think much of it at that point. I'm actually going to find a before and after see if I can actually see it. I passed out last night just way to much to deal with. My dad was a addict for yrs. He doesn't know yet. My husband is a addict so not only they just assume they're a ass about it as well. His was known a long time ago tho. Mine had stayed hidden well I thought anyway. It hurts bc like they mess up (not drug wise but still mess up) I'm there for them regardless.

 

[Wilson Wilson]

It is a difficult situation when your family don't have your back when you need them, but it sounds like your husband will support you so I would go to him and talk it out instead.

In all honesty it's most likely not something that's easy to spot in your look, it's more like what's in your eyes and subtle changes in body language and behaviour. You don't even notice a difference but people around you do. That's the usual way it goes.

 

[Cfmk20]

It is a difficult situation when your family don't have your back when you need them, but it sounds like your husband will support you so I would go to him and talk it out instead.

In all honesty it's most likely not something that's easy to spot in your look, it's more like what's in your eyes and subtle changes in body language and behaviour. You don't even notice a difference but people around you do. That's the usual way it goes.

Very true. I make sure it's had enough time to be out of my system before ever going around, or just stay to myself My husband is for sure one to go to in person but as we both do shit it's a little different. We completely support each other facing family is entirely different

 

[MountainTrails]

I had an intervention by my family. I was embarrassed, angry, all that. I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and this new development was alarming.

But I heard them too. A few had traveled thousands of miles to be there, so I knew they were serious about what they were saying about me and how I'd changed.

How I responded was that I agreed to try the suggested outpatient addiction therapy. Which I then took seriously.

 

[Cfmk20]

I had an intervention by my family. I was embarrassed, angry, all that. I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and this new development was alarming.

But I heard them too. A few had traveled thousands of miles to be there, so I knew they were serious about what they were saying about me and how I'd changed.

How I responded was that I agreed to try the suggested outpatient addiction therapy. Which I then took seriously.

The main one is my sister. We had been through so much so I truly understand where they all are coming from. But forcing someone to feel that is what's getting me. Things aren't as intense as they was at first. Now it's kinda they don't agree but don't want me dead either and chilled out some