- Joined
- Mar 7, 2011
- Messages
- 25,362
Sup y'all happy FRIDAY. I kinda wanted to use this thread to talk about anger/rage generally, but I think it'd be more important for me to get some other family things off my chest. I'm in a good place mentally at this time just feeling a little emotional/tired.
Anyway, when I called my biological mother (not who I consider my mother truly) Sunday, she informed me she had just gotten a cancerous polyp removed during colonoscopy. She added that she has felt terribly bloated and suspects a tumor, which is what killed her mother. My sister(same mom) lives near her and told me before this that she looked terrible last she seen.
Sadly, I've never had much of a relationship with her. By the time I was cognizant I just lived with my Father. I only ever talked to my maternal grandfather once when I was 18. Dad was still married to his first wife when I was born. She is who raised me after my father passed. to be continued on the backstory thooo
Bottom line my biomom is fuckin "simple" for lack of a better word and most likely going to pass sometime soon, she's 40 years older than I am and has been smoking fucking rolled cigs for 50 years of some shit. Not sure if it's the years of drugs or a mental illness thing. We still try to talk but it's never felt real. She does try though, but I can't help relishing in something I've been waiting years for.
So it can just be done. I won't have to call her or think of her. But it's my mom so of course I love her, she's fuckin harmless and the real loss is the relationship we could have had.
My father also managed to marry a million fucking women and I have a stepdad who raised me since 12. It's like I have a font of dead parents in my yard and I have to go through this eternally.
That's pretty much it. I just know this will be very difficult for me and I need to reach out. Everyone's going through shit as well and we all have too many dead friends and wasted years, community is pretty crucial if we're gonna get through whatever other whack shit we'll see this century.
Anyway, when I called my biological mother (not who I consider my mother truly) Sunday, she informed me she had just gotten a cancerous polyp removed during colonoscopy. She added that she has felt terribly bloated and suspects a tumor, which is what killed her mother. My sister(same mom) lives near her and told me before this that she looked terrible last she seen.
Sadly, I've never had much of a relationship with her. By the time I was cognizant I just lived with my Father. I only ever talked to my maternal grandfather once when I was 18. Dad was still married to his first wife when I was born. She is who raised me after my father passed. to be continued on the backstory thooo
Bottom line my biomom is fuckin "simple" for lack of a better word and most likely going to pass sometime soon, she's 40 years older than I am and has been smoking fucking rolled cigs for 50 years of some shit. Not sure if it's the years of drugs or a mental illness thing. We still try to talk but it's never felt real. She does try though, but I can't help relishing in something I've been waiting years for.
So it can just be done. I won't have to call her or think of her. But it's my mom so of course I love her, she's fuckin harmless and the real loss is the relationship we could have had.
My father also managed to marry a million fucking women and I have a stepdad who raised me since 12. It's like I have a font of dead parents in my yard and I have to go through this eternally.
That's pretty much it. I just know this will be very difficult for me and I need to reach out. Everyone's going through shit as well and we all have too many dead friends and wasted years, community is pretty crucial if we're gonna get through whatever other whack shit we'll see this century.
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