At the age of 46 I am spending hundreds every month on Dex from a dealer. I am wondering if anyone has ever "come back" from a Dex addiction.
I've had the habit for about four years, after getting involved with a guy who took Dex for ADD. I was on anxiety meds and painkillers for arthritis. We ended up living together, and got extremely co-dependent. I guess we really did believe in "better living through chemistry". It got very nasty indeed. If alcohol was in the mix, there was sometimes terrible violence.
Anyway, it all ended with me in hospital and him in court for assault.
I doubt this would've happened had there not been Dex involved.
I've been out of hospital since February, and have been taking Dex almost every day. Also I've been drinking way too much - to mitigate the "come down". I'm not into staying awake for days on end, but every few days I have an all-nighter. Since I have to buy them now, there's financial havoc as well as psychological dependence.
I've had depression and anxiety disorders most of my life, and have been on anti depressants since I was only 19. They haven't ever done much for me.
Formerly I was a "high achiever" with a PhD and a promising academic career. But to be honest, even years before I got into Dex, I frequently self-medicated with OTC stuff like pseudo ephedrine (Sudafed) or codeine in order to "help me focus".
Actually, If I'm honest with myself, the only time I wrote and studied without popping pills was when I was pregnant and breastfeeding.
This makes me wonder: did I really need something to help me concentrate? Could I have ADD? If can get a decent quantity, I'll be quite moderate, and keep regular hours. But usually I can only buy in small quantities- which makes me more binge-prone, for some reason.
The thing that scares me most, though, is that maybe I've permanently damaged my brain's ability to produce dopamine and serotonin - I've read that this can happen with amphetamine abuse.
Has anyone gotten over a Dex habit? Or, on the other hand, could I have ADD? How do you know if you've got ADD?
help would be very welcome. Rehab is out of the question. I'd go to NarcAnon but there's no way I'd make it to a meeting without Dex.
I can't do anything at all without Dex right now. That's how it feels.
I've had the habit for about four years, after getting involved with a guy who took Dex for ADD. I was on anxiety meds and painkillers for arthritis. We ended up living together, and got extremely co-dependent. I guess we really did believe in "better living through chemistry". It got very nasty indeed. If alcohol was in the mix, there was sometimes terrible violence.
Anyway, it all ended with me in hospital and him in court for assault.
I doubt this would've happened had there not been Dex involved.
I've been out of hospital since February, and have been taking Dex almost every day. Also I've been drinking way too much - to mitigate the "come down". I'm not into staying awake for days on end, but every few days I have an all-nighter. Since I have to buy them now, there's financial havoc as well as psychological dependence.
I've had depression and anxiety disorders most of my life, and have been on anti depressants since I was only 19. They haven't ever done much for me.
Formerly I was a "high achiever" with a PhD and a promising academic career. But to be honest, even years before I got into Dex, I frequently self-medicated with OTC stuff like pseudo ephedrine (Sudafed) or codeine in order to "help me focus".
Actually, If I'm honest with myself, the only time I wrote and studied without popping pills was when I was pregnant and breastfeeding.
This makes me wonder: did I really need something to help me concentrate? Could I have ADD? If can get a decent quantity, I'll be quite moderate, and keep regular hours. But usually I can only buy in small quantities- which makes me more binge-prone, for some reason.
The thing that scares me most, though, is that maybe I've permanently damaged my brain's ability to produce dopamine and serotonin - I've read that this can happen with amphetamine abuse.
Has anyone gotten over a Dex habit? Or, on the other hand, could I have ADD? How do you know if you've got ADD?
help would be very welcome. Rehab is out of the question. I'd go to NarcAnon but there's no way I'd make it to a meeting without Dex.
I can't do anything at all without Dex right now. That's how it feels.