💀 The Abyss 💀 (Open 24hrs)

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DopeM said:
If anything Erich scared bl off.
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yeah

I'm so burnt I gotta sleep

I am so tripped out. It's a bit sick. I have to quit while I'm ahead.

I can't sleep... I gotta jerk off... :|

oh this will be fucking fun.

souldeath </life>

ahhhhhhhh fuck me I'm gonna try jerking off now.... PLS HAPPEN so it makes me sleepy I am so sick of life

ok i came and i think i'm tired... i think wish me luck
 
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Captain.Heroin said:
I have several Words threads as I moderate Words.

I have a thread I have since censored as it's too dark.

I have a thread for "Love" type poetry. I have a thread called "Love" I have written.

I have a thread called Sex and Euphoria in Los Angeles I have since censored because it's a very personal story and PO got to read it.

@Painful One I LOVE YOUR STORY it's so far out girl we have to hang one day
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Oh of course, I've seen you as moderator in words, just surprised not to see that title specifically.

Captain Ahab --> Captain KHole, seeking your white whale of, well
(First thing to come to mind was a stable, accepting, loving relationship but man that is depressing...)


Sczpath - Getting treatment can be really useful, if you have been off a while. Can help with managing other drug use too. Watch out past the first week or so though to keep use balanced and not seek stimulation, if you get that/ are prone to it. I mean you probably already know but yeah.
 
cap I never got to read my part in your story while I was sober. I know I was working room service for the hotel but that's all I remember.
 
DopeM said:
They say it stares back at you, but this feels a bit more like the listless gaze of lobotomy patient
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Just stick around it's gonna get real fun because my suicidal depression is returning

THANKS TO REAL LIFE SHIT

not even a drug craving I woke up happy and then the depression set in

I can't climb back in bed and sleep/cry it away I Just got natural normal hour sleep I can't.... this is going to suck. Everyone gather around I'm going to lose my fucking mind in real time. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR BAD NEWS AND NO DRUGS.

I might get more $ because I legit feel like I'm going to attempt suicide if things don't turn around in at least 1 way today. Holy fuck do I feel like shit. I can't handle this bad news. I can't. I wasn't meant for this.

I don't feel well I think I am going to mentally break down today and it's going to be really fucked.

I'll be posting like shady and losing my mind and probably wildly fluctuating between severe depression and mania. And eventually I'll just start starving myself and cutting myself to deal with everything because I really don't care to live anymore.

I thought for a serious second there'd be a chance I could get better and start smiling/taking care of myself again. Looks like I'll be happy later this year or in 2021 again.

Sucks.

I better go see if I have razors because I'm going to need something.

STEP 1 the depression: crying. tears. no one there to hold you.
STEP 2 the repression: believing in shit you know isn't real. everyone is dying around you and you're going to die too.
STEP 3 the dissociation: alleviation of suffering through popping out of my body.
STEP 4 the reintegration: coming back with a positive life perspective with terrible life circumstances
STEP 5 release the kraken: losing my fucking mind and never coming back

I'm almost devastated I don't own a handgun so I can't just blow my brains out now I can accept that and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I don't even have rope. I'm totally unprepared to take my own life because I thought I had time. FUCK. The best I can orchestrate is losing consciousness in extremely cold conditions and even then I don't know how far north I can travel on limited funds. OH GOODNESS GRACIOUS LET ME TELL YOU THE NEWS... fuck I'm stuck in a world I don't want to live in.

I'm sweating a lot and I'm starting to stop crying ok maybe I have gotten past this hump
aren't I so unlucky, this hollywood guy lulz
That feel when you don't live in a high rise and can't just jump off the ledge haha. AHHAHAHAAH. I'm laughing at my own being stuck here and my disgrace. Hilarious. I think I'll be able to laugh at my own impending death again soon. I just need to brush my teeth get WGFJ in my system and disappear soon.

BRAINWASHING MYSELF WITH POSITIVITY works I'm going to try that for a while.

checktest said:
Captain Ahab --> Captain KHole, seeking your white whale of, well
(First thing to come to mind was a stable, accepting, loving relationship but man that is depressing...)
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Most of what I was struggling with last year was trying to get this shell of a human being to love me back and it's funny because he's suicidally depressed too. And I was trying to help him just as much as myself LOL. It's so funny. I can laugh and get off about it now.

Ahhhhh laughter.

They say it's the best medicine but I think kholes are slightly better than laughter IMO.

I'll probably blast off soon and try to forget my shitty SHITTY life.

Everything I post in Words is either an amalgamation of life/death drive, manic or depressing writing or stuff of that nature. OH SHIT THIS IS THE GOOD PART AHHHHHHHHHH I love it.

Music is probably the only thing able to help me right now.
 
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