So you guys may remember 2 summers ago when I took AMT and a ton of LSD, and had a panic attack and had to use etizolam to come out of the panic attack. Well, ever since then, from time to time, I start having the same feeling. It's weird, it's like I sudden;y remember the feeling, and feel a ghost of it. And I think to myself, shit, I hope that doesn't happen. And then it starts to build. It's a feeling of my thoughts being really out of control, it's this sort of alarming sensation of everything happening at once. It's really hard to describe. But it gives me a sense of existential dread. It has happened 4 times since then, that I get this little feeling and then I can't shake it and I sort of feel internally like I am building to a panic attack. But it's not a physical thing, my heart doesn't race. It's more like an existential dread, which builds and builds, slowly. If I do something else it helps to distract me, but each time I have ended up taking 1mg of etizolam to interrupt it, and then it's gone. Well it hasn't happened often, but it did last night, all of a sudden while I was trying to fall asleep. No idea why. And it happened like 2 weeks ago too, when I was on a walk with my girlfriend, visiting my mom. Both times out of absolutely nowhere, for no reason I can surmise. The other 2 times it's happened, it happened at the end of an intense trip and I was exhausted and it sort of made sense.
My girlfriend has had panic attacks and she told me that from her perspective, once she had the first one, it was like that pathway was created in her brain, and it's much easier to go back there.
Has anyone else had this sort of experience? It was definitely brought on by a trip the first time, and seemed related the next 2 times, but these past 2 times were totally unrelated to psychedelics, and I'm slightly concerned that it happened twice in such a short span of time.
