Mamanakkachama
Greenlighter
This is a personal flash 
back into the beginning of my opiate addiction and how it got to where it is now. Its a journey I know is quite relatable so if this sounds familiar feel free to share your experiences and just how relatable this is to you. It started small with popping a Vicodin, Percs, 5 or 10mg Oxys and then it turned into the green 15mg Oxys, a Morphine and then finally smoking the Babies, Baby Blues, Roxys, A's, M's, Oxy 30s, 30mg Oxys and settling for the Green 15mg oxy's which you never really wanted to waste money on because...well who the fuck wants 15's? It was quite the expensive habit and it wasn't always readily available and when I had a good thing going with a consistent plug the GREAT OXY DEPRESSION came upon us like a plague. Oxys became "DANGEROUS" and "HIGHLY ADDICTIVE" "WIDELY ABUSED" so they decided to put plastic fillers in them so you couldn't smoke it or shoot it. They made these bogus time release Oxys and the only people who got the real shit were far and few in between...so one day your oxytocin's dealer says " I can get you some heroin" I never wanted to do heroin I thought na fuck that...but....the sickness....the disease of addiction made me choose otherwise...so there I was driving my connect into town to grab a half of tar. I remember that day so clearly in my mind...I remember my guy was arguing with me the whole ride there because he believed the only right way to do heroin was through IV and boy was I against that shit. I told myself Id NEVER EVER USE NEEDLES...when we got the stuff is was pretty wet and it smelled so strongly of vinegar and it tasted terrible like burnt vinegar lemons bleh gross but after that first hit....fuck me it was like Jesus came down with a warm blanket and gave you a fucking hug! I drove us back to the spot learning on my driver side window the whole way while my connect held the OH SHIT bar the whole way back begging me to pull over so he could drive lol we made it back just fine...at this time shooting wasn't exactly socially acceptable even amongst the heaviest chronics it was definitely not something to do at any spot. Sure you could whip out any kind of pipe dump out a bunch of coke pop pills and do anything but shooters were to go in the bathroom and keep it to yourself cause no one's really down with having that around....yet...I remember the first time I was at another spot everyone was smoking ice and chillin at the time I was the only heroin user so out of respect I smoked in the bathroom and a friend followed me in cause he was gonna shoot up ice and he asked if I wanted hm to make me a shot. now what had initially sparked my interest and lead me to saying yes to his offer was in the weeks prior I had watched my best friend who's journey is identical to mine start shooting. I never judged her I was only worried but I guess a part of me wanted to share in this guilty pleasure with her so I thought why not fuck it. back to the offer I reluctantly said yes to...he used a blue rubber turnikit and I was afraid I stuck my arm out closed my eyes faced the other way and said " fuck just hurry up and do it' and down he rabbit hole I went...I ended up curling up in a ball in my friends bathtub and feeling absolutely amazing I was on cloud 9 gazillion and from there I went. at first I only let my bestie do my shots then I wanted to do my own and it was off to the races I never looked back at smoking an oxy ever again... although I did end up shooting a bunch. I even shot those crappy green 15mg oxy's lol but yes now I am a full blown heroin addict and I'm IV ONLY....what about you?
back into the beginning of my opiate
I'm not sober by any means, I just don't do opiates. I still use psychedelics and marijuana every once in a while, and I drink (increasingly less though) and sometimes use stimulants which I always end up regretting.