Hi everyone, I would like to share my story as well as offer some things that have helped me move forward.
Prior to Invega I was a semi-semi pro soccer player, excellent runner. I had tons of energy!! I created wedding films for work. I don’t have a history of any mental health issues.
I strongly believe I was misdiagnosed. I was suffering from paranoia from intense stress, family problems and living in the car for almost a year. Long story short I was taken to the hospital police escort and within the month given the Invega injection, 150mg, 100mg a week later. Very soon after that I was struggling to walk and move and drooling. My back became extremely tight and pinched. For 2-3 days I felt desperately like I needed to pee but did not have the strength, only after standing at the toilet for what felt like hours but was maybe 10 minutes I could pee. I woke up and felt like I needed to have a bowel movement but barely had the strength. I had to struggle to run and use a box under my feet on the toilet and some times I could not. Going for a walk less than 50 meters was exhausting. Holding up the phone to my ear was tiring and I could only do it so long. I had water fasted for 5 days but in the hospital I could fast one meal max. My whole body would shake and tremble unless I continued moving or walking. Slowly my bowel movements and ability to urinate returned. Despite all this the doctors decided to keep me on the medication when they should have tried something less strong like the pills - unbelievable incompetence and evil. I still strongly feel if I had received even minimal counselling from anyone with half a heart I would have been just fine. I also don’t think the medication helped me out of the paranoia, I think it just passed on it’s own.
Following the first shot I had 4 more, two of which were out of hospital before I decided to leave the province in my car in protest of the medication. The good news is they agreed to welcome me back and take me off the medication with pressure from my dad no court order or police. Within 1.5 month off the shot I was out of zombie mode. I was still mentally slowish and emotionally very distant but I was able to enjoy things somewhat again. My back had improved from super tight to just really tight.
I am now at 3 months off the shot and I am suffering with the following side effects:
- difficulty walking properly, right leg doesn’t touch down properly (has improved slightly)
- lower back and side tightness that is intense, can no longer play soccer even at low level
- sometimes stomach discomfort and tightness
- entire body joints cracking often
- Watery ejaculation
- feeling that I need to urinate frequently
- waking up every 2 hours at night to urinate
- max 5-6 hours sleep
- no napping ability during the day
- very low energy that improved to low to moderate energy
- windows of depression and anxiety (often in the morning)
- there was a time I felt like I wanted my life to end
The anxiety and depression feels like someone is waging a war on me in my mind it’s intense. Thankfully it usually passes within an hour. I have never had anxiety before Invega.
Okay here’s the good news. I have joined Gracie barra jiujitsu and it helps greatly with my mood. Despite being low energy I can still battle on the mat. The workout is a combination of learning and training for an hour and after I’m usually physically wiped but mentally stimulated. I have found a job shuttle driving and it really helps make my day better.
I was a believer and follower of Jesus Christ before Invega. I still am. I wondered a lot why christ wasn’t able to protect me from this and I don’t have a great answer other then when I was paranoid I should have relaxed and had faith but I panicked instead. In the bible it says if you have faith your prayers will come true. I find this difficult to accept but I can testify of something incredibly inspiring. After I repented in the name of Jesus Christ privately in my own room about 2yrs ago something incredible happened to me that Paul wrote in corinthians would happen to some followers. I became able to see and differentiate between people’s spirits. Shortly after I witnessed the Holy Spirit in a couple people for a brief amount of time. It says in the bible the word or Christ is the light of men. What I have gathered or learned is that when the spirit enters into someone because they are praying or acting faithfully their soul and body is slowly changed. Jesus said he will make a man whole. I know this because I see people, not often unfortunately, that look like they have Jesus eyes or Holy Spirit eyes. Just recently during lunch at a cafe I saw a women that looked like she had Jesus eyes. I asked her if she was Christian and her answer was a simple “yes”. I have met many people who often fill churches who claim to be Christian and to their defence may be trying but their eyes do not say so. Jesus said if the eyes are full of light so will be the body.
I hope I raised your faith because Jesus said we are saved by it, saved by believing in Christ.
I hope to be back to write that I no longer urinate often and sleep well and my back is better and walking and running as well.
I also recommend surrounding yourself by people, join a chess club, go to a church, try jiujitsu, find something. It will help.
Lastly, I have seen some people write they masterbate etc. I found Happeh Theory about 5 years ago and I think it is mostly true. Masterbation is a sin and will negatively affect your body and mind as all sins do (in my opinion). I would encourage people to not masterbate as I think it affects your “mental health.
Lastly lastly, I would have nothing to say to these medical professionals. Some of them are pure evil - eyes of serpents, most are just arrogant, and they are all extremely judgemental. They will prescribe you medication just to feel they have power over you. Moving forward I would say nothing to them or worst case scenario actually speak the words kindly “I have nothing to say” if pressed. Look for help from christians, Christ, alternative medicine, sports, wisdom, from others suffering and from people thriving!