GetMeOutOfThisCRAP
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2017
- Messages
- 1,940
I'm not sure where to begin. I've as of recent had an amazing streak and thought I was out of the opiate loop (mainly oxy), and returned again. It felt amazing and then my tolerance sky-rocketed like the old times. I am really frustrated. I've quit through kratom, cold turkey, etc. I always find ways to get back to it or it finds a way to get back to me even if I feel I've cut off all my options entirely. I've never faced anything this difficult in my life... not giving in but I find it so underwhelming to live without this incredible feeling and I can't be the only one who has struggled tremendously to quit and stay out.. Just when I think I'm in the clear a switch turns off and I'm back on it again.
I am a PhD student and it has greatly reduced the stress of my masters and current degree program, thus it did have a purpose in my life other than pain relief. I do not even suffer from chronic pain.
I have my life together otherwise but I KNOW that if this escalates anymore I could lose everything I've worked for. The withdrawals absolutely suck and I've utilized most of my toolkits enough to the point that wd salvation comfort meds no longer work.. that's what point I'm at.
Usage: 40-60 mgs of oxy seemingly daily
Duration of addiction: 2.5 years
It might be useful to know that my mother's DoC when she was using was heroin. I think that may play a factor in my love of opiates.
I want to break free before my habits turn into 100mg/day or something like that to catch a buzz because I know where that route leads. Some advice/experience would be appreciated. I'd rather be addicted to oxycodone than something like cocaine or inhalants but this is horrifyingly addicting. I started dating someone amazing and I really do not want to blow this. At least my partner is aware of my problem and is highly supportive on the matter of quitting. I thought if I reached out to real people with real sobriety success stories on specifically opiates I could get a better grasp on what it means to stay clean. I really would appreciate any replies even from those who are currently fighting the same battle, and how it has/is affecting your life. Thank you

I have my life together otherwise but I KNOW that if this escalates anymore I could lose everything I've worked for. The withdrawals absolutely suck and I've utilized most of my toolkits enough to the point that wd salvation comfort meds no longer work.. that's what point I'm at.
Usage: 40-60 mgs of oxy seemingly daily
Duration of addiction: 2.5 years
It might be useful to know that my mother's DoC when she was using was heroin. I think that may play a factor in my love of opiates.
I want to break free before my habits turn into 100mg/day or something like that to catch a buzz because I know where that route leads. Some advice/experience would be appreciated. I'd rather be addicted to oxycodone than something like cocaine or inhalants but this is horrifyingly addicting. I started dating someone amazing and I really do not want to blow this. At least my partner is aware of my problem and is highly supportive on the matter of quitting. I thought if I reached out to real people with real sobriety success stories on specifically opiates I could get a better grasp on what it means to stay clean. I really would appreciate any replies even from those who are currently fighting the same battle, and how it has/is affecting your life. Thank you

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