Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1999
- Messages
- 84,998
yep ash i'm pretty fucking psyched!!! thanks for popping by!! how you doing?
never ever thought in a million years i'd ever do this. 90 fucking days.
had an ace time at my mates. was really gutted another friend from rehab is already back in. it upset me more than it should have at the time, but i'd been pretty concerned about him leaving cos he seemed over confident and wasn't going to put much time into his recovery.
its getting easier and harder at the same time. easier day to day, i'm increasing in confidence that i can do this. harder as the reality of what my addiction did to me and those around me hits home. i thought they were being silly stressing about the possibility of me dying now i realise it really was a possibility.
still got so much work to do.
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edit: i'm actually learning to tolerate pain. my left calf and entire back were hurting, still do, after ending up in a mosh pit on monday night. usually i'd use that as an excuse to use. but i haven't wanted to. it reminds me of what a good time i had. it was better than a lot of the smack i done in the past 6 years, and if i'd done that instead, i'd still be sick and hate myself for it. so pain for something that's relatively healthy (i'm a slim woman i chose pits wisely otherwise i could really get injured) doesn't feel like such an issue.
never ever thought in a million years i'd ever do this. 90 fucking days.
had an ace time at my mates. was really gutted another friend from rehab is already back in. it upset me more than it should have at the time, but i'd been pretty concerned about him leaving cos he seemed over confident and wasn't going to put much time into his recovery.
its getting easier and harder at the same time. easier day to day, i'm increasing in confidence that i can do this. harder as the reality of what my addiction did to me and those around me hits home. i thought they were being silly stressing about the possibility of me dying now i realise it really was a possibility.
still got so much work to do.
---------
edit: i'm actually learning to tolerate pain. my left calf and entire back were hurting, still do, after ending up in a mosh pit on monday night. usually i'd use that as an excuse to use. but i haven't wanted to. it reminds me of what a good time i had. it was better than a lot of the smack i done in the past 6 years, and if i'd done that instead, i'd still be sick and hate myself for it. so pain for something that's relatively healthy (i'm a slim woman i chose pits wisely otherwise i could really get injured) doesn't feel like such an issue.