I don't even know if I enjoy alcohol anymore. I'm not sure I ever did.
I used to enjoy the feeling I'd get after still being awake at 8 in the morning after having drank since noon the day before, but I don't get to that point anymore.
The problem is that I binge drink like it's my job. Never drink during the week. Usually only maybe 3 times a month, but when we do (I say we, because my whole friend crew is a bunch of binge drinking nutters), we drink it all....and for hours. 10 hour pub sessions aren't out of the norm. Which just goes to show you the tolerance levels involved if you're still being served because you're able to function and aren't causing a scene.
My hangovers have become actual hangovers ever since a four day binge in Cuba 6 years ago (the after-effects of having left a terrible relationship) left me unable to put anything down and led to terrible withdrawal with shakes like an earthquake and mini-seizures? or brain zaps?....not sure what the hell that was but it kept me up til 5am after having been sent to bed by my friends around 9 in the evening (every time I was about to doze off, my brain would get a zap lasting about 3-5s which would jolt me the hell awake...thought I was going to die at a hotel in Cuba).
That incident ruined alcohol for me forever in that my body doesn't handle it as well as it used to.
I take a hiatus at least once a year where I don't drink a sip for like 3 months or so. This does nothing for my tolerance, unfortunately and once birthday season is back, it's back to the usual drink it all technique with the crew.
It's weird, because I can easily not drink but have a hard time moderating drinking when I do imbibe in certain situations. If I'm out alone for a meal at a pub or restaurant, then one or two drinks is achievable, but if it's out on a Friday or Saturday with friends, then I think a 20 drink minimum is in effect, usually.
I also do truly enjoy the taste of certain wines and cocktails.
I've decided to try and make non-alcoholic cocktails infused with psilocybin extract and slowly drink myself into psilocybin highs instead.
Problem is, one can't just buy psilocybin extract at the nearest pharmacy or supermarket, and pubs don't serve psilocybin infused drinks.
It's a weird one. Forever quitting meth was easy. Forever quitting K was easy. Forever quitting coke was easy. Forever quitting alcohol? Maybe if this psilocybin cocktail technique works out.
I don't ever think about drinking when I'm not drinking. Like right now, I have a bottle of gin, a beer, and a bottle of wine sitting in my kitchen. It can go on sitting there til the appropriate time. I don't feel dependent on it. Not sure what the reason for the extreme binge drinking is.
So, in short, do I enjoy alcohol? I have no idea.