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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

European Crack Cocaine Thread

freesolo123 said:
I think that crack might be the worse life investment on planet earth. Lost a tooth this week literally just came out and can't trust myself with more than 10 quid at the moment.
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i used to keep the pipe between my teeth to avoid the damage. sure my lungs will thank me.

do you have any option to get into rehab?

i'm nearly 5 weeks in, on my first night out, don't feel like using at all though can't seem to throw away the stash of benzos i have here. i don't see how anyone can get off crack without rehab, though i know some can do it they miss out on a lot of therapy that is really helpful. i've learned so much about why i am this way and done EMDR and ART so i can't use on trauma so much (i'm pretty pissed about this tbh). so get yourself in if you can.
 
depends. i moved to secondary care on thursday, initially for 4 weeks. middle of week 3 we'll see if i need to stay longer. hope i don't. everyone else i was in with just did 4 weeks and seemed fine so i dunno what the fucks up with me really but middle of week 3 i was still convincing myself my pain was special so i needed heroin.

really feel absolutely done with crack though what a shit drug.
 
chinup said:
really feel absolutely done with crack though what a shit drug.
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Isn't it just? For me, coming off it was a massive relief. Once I'd run out of money and had no way of getting any more without resorting to criminal behaviour which would have seriously fucked up my life, all cravings vanished literally within a day. If only I could have done that 30 grand earlier...
 
totally get you. really don't know why i went straight back to it every time i came back from my parents this year. i think cos i was never planning on quitting so i was still pretty fiendish. but i knew each time i'd never get what i wanted from it, i think it hardly ever being what you hope contributes to the fiendishness as much as the intensity and short action.

i'm so glad i'm over that though.

and yeah, no point thinking about everything we've lost cos of this fucking nightmare of a car crash though cos guilt and shame are too easy to use on.

i've got tinnitus now from strong speedballs even though i've not done one in 6 weeks so i can literally hear how foolish it is.
 
Well done Chinup, crack absolutely sucks to get off, only when your ready is it possible to quit and even then its a bitch, keep going strong.
 
Got some of the most amazing white I have smoked in months on Monday, it seems round here atm there is only one guy with shit stuff that is mainly bash & a pinch of a-pvp tossed in to it.
 
now managed 4 months without crack.Its been a hard time,still crave it alot sometimes.
But honestly looking back on the times where i spent all my money on crack in about 5 days at the start of the month and then hustling the rest of the month,eating raw pasta and stealing shit from stores,coming up with all kinds of excuses in front of my parents why i need some money,i dont want to go back to this lifestyle.

Honestly crack is a great drug the first 10 sec but after the first few hits its just paranoia hours on end
 
neithman said:
now managed 4 months without crack.its been a hard time,still crave it alot sometimes.
But honestly looking back on the times where i spent all my money on crack in about 5 days at the start of the month and then hustling the rest of the month,eating raw pasta and stealing shit from stores,coming up with all kinds of excuses in front of my parents why i need some money,i dont want to go back to this lifestyle.

Honestly crack is a great drug the first 10 sec but after the first few hits its just paranoia hours on end
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qft!!
 
Been smoking every day for a few months now and don't think I can kick this alone, Have tried all my old tricks like throwing my phone away and putting my finances in a trusted persons control but I can score on the street and I am a absolute nightmare for the person who holds my money and its not fair.

Anyone got any advice I am thinking maybe rehab but I am on sub maintenance and they don't take on people who are using subs afaik.

I seem to smoke about 5 rocks a day average but it is every single day and has been since August.
 
good luck man.

get to rehab if you can. i've never been on maintenance cos it just seems like everyone on it has a double habit so i can't comment on that. but there should be a detox+rehab option. i honestly think i'd be dead by now if i wasn't in rehab (i'm on weekend leave from secondary care now).

can you go to NA meetings or just do anything to fill your time? when i get out, probably next thursday though i'm petrified and have no clue if i'm ready, i'm gonna try and have a timetable ready of as many meetings + fitness and meditation classes as possible. i'll spend my entire life on public transport but that's a GOOD thing cos i'll be too busy to think about scoring.

get help ASAP. if you keep using your life will get worse and worse.
 
chinup said:
good luck man.

get to rehab if you can. i've never been on maintenance cos it just seems like everyone on it has a double habit so i can't comment on that. but there should be a detox+rehab option. i honestly think i'd be dead by now if i wasn't in rehab (i'm on weekend leave from secondary care now).

can you go to NA meetings or just do anything to fill your time? when i get out, probably next thursday though i'm petrified and have no clue if i'm ready, i'm gonna try and have a timetable ready of as many meetings + fitness and meditation classes as possible. i'll spend my entire life on public transport but that's a GOOD thing cos i'll be too busy to think about scoring.

get help ASAP. if you keep using your life will get worse and worse.
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I've been following your story and I'm really pleased you're doing well.

I've been through my share of hardhips in life, from the deserts of the Middle East to the streets of my hometown when I got home ... so I can relate to struggling.

You're inspiring chinup... keep up the good work <3
 
thanks!! that is quite touching. though don't hold your breath, i'll have been clean 60 days next thursday and in rehab for 59 of them. though i'm pretty certain now i'll make 90. i'm really nervous about leaving rehab on Thursday, no idea if i'm ready, what ready looks like etc. its mad i never really intended to recover when i entered rehab. my hand was forced cos i was gonna end up homeless otherwise. now i want it bad.

i've mostly been posting in sober living now but its super nice to be able to get some encouragement here too.

free- how you doing? i really hope you're ok. crack addiction is a fucking scary scary dark place and you're doing really well to keep your use down to 5 shots a day, given i assume you probably wanna smoke basically continuously.
 
Chinup I gotta ask but I mean it with all respect, you managed to do something I have been able to do, I tip my hat to you.

You only ever smoke white alone?
How did you make all the rough edges smooth after smoking a good half 6 or more?
 
nah mate i been a smackhead for 5 years longer than i was a crackhead. no secrets. i can't imagine shooting coke on its own just sounds stressful.

also wa sa general repository for pharms, usually had some benzos, pregabs or antipsyhotics going round my system to smooth shit out too.
 
Well done on your getting clean Chinup its a huge achievement and you should feel proud of yourself.

my smoking schedule is normally 2 at around 11 to 1 then I go out on my bike in the afternoon and do 30 to 50km when I get home and settled I go out and get 2-4 more at 5-7ish. I have been killing myself on the bike lately trying to get rid of my cravings but its not enough.

Crack being such a fast drug you might expect the addiction to be instant but from my experience its very progressive and almost like a untreated mental illness that just gets worse over time.
 
chinup said:
nah mate i been a smackhead for 5 years longer than i was a crackhead. no secrets. i can't imagine shooting coke on its own just sounds stressful.

also wa sa general repository for pharms, usually had some benzos, pregabs or antipsyhotics going round my system to smooth shit out too.
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I am a fan of your upfront no bullshit style, thankyou.
 
^ haha ta

no point glossing over a very shitty existence really.

free- i really admire your smoking schedule. part of why i came in into rehab was cos if i lost my place, i'd go from getting 120p/h to 30 and just couldn't face crack addiction on that little. it must be absolute hell to want it all the time (i'm guessing you do) and keep it so organised. can you do other stuff to keep busy? bike is great but you clearly need something more, also you ideally don't wanna cross addict into exercise.

i'd really recommend giving NA a decent try, give each meeting a few goes and try a few different meetings. when i first went i was like 'fuck this i don't wanna be friends with these guys' blah blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit but i'm pretty sure they'll keep me 1000x cleaner than i could on my own. that said, they couldn't get me to stop, only rehab could do that. or try SMART or just anything to fill your time thats not smoking. i'd offer to drag you to a meeting but i'm too fragile right now its 50/50 i'd just get you to score for me and i can't do that.

you're right about it creeping up too. i used it regularly for 4 years, i was always buying light with my b for about 2 years before i got properly addicted. it was daily use that got me, went from 50 a day to 500 in no time after that. for the vast majority of my time being a regular crack smoker i simply couldn't understand how people got addicted to it!!!
 
Thanks for the advice chinup I have never been to a meeting and the thought of going to sit with other addicts some that I might even know is quite a scary one but so is a future of daily crack use. my key worker asked me to write down all the positives and negatives that crack brings my life and its obviously a very selfish lonely world being a crackhead.

I met a old friend that has a 20 year heroin habit and has been using crack since they started shotting them together. I started to visit every other day the one thing that frightened me after spending a little time with her and allowing her to be herself is the level of deception that go's on in the daily life of a crackhead its almost like everything is a lie and even when the truth would do she still lies, I can't be around her anymore because obviously there is no trust and in her I see my future and it frightens me.
 
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