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New guy here

Fhizzy

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 30, 2018
Messages
8
Hey guys, I'm just going to jump right into this. I've been on Suboxone for the last roughly 10 months give or take. During this time i cant really tell you my dosages, It was daily, i got to the point where i was doing up to 8-12mg daily but getting nothing in return. I've struggled with addiction since i was 18 years old and i'm now 23. In the last 3 days I've relocated to my mothers house 330miles away from where i was active in my addiction. I moved out here because i know i now have no choice but to get clean. I had been plannning on moving out here for sometime and about 2 months before the move i began to ween myself down on my suboxone taken roughly 2mg-3mg daily. Today is now day 2 of being clean so far its not very bad, i just feel very fatigued, and still very dull to the world for example, nothing makes me laugh at this point, or happy, its like i have no emotion. Im scared what i may face for the next days or weeks to come, I'm hoping i dont have serious withdrawal, as i was preparing myself for this moment a while before i came here. That is the reason for the weening. Honestly, idk why i posted here, but i dont know anybody where i moved to, and am just seeking support of some kind. Just typing this out has made me feel better. I just want to put this portion of my life behind me, and know what being happy feels like again. Thanks
 
Your in a good place here . Lots of suboxone info here . You share all you want. It will give you a place to vent and share with others that maybe going through the same thing. Do you feel ready to quit ? I mean like fed up to the point were you are disgusted with yourself ? Your probably going to start hurting tomorrow. It may last up to 14 days , then PAWS may set in . I'm gonna tell you the truth, its gonna be one of the hardest things you've ever done. I highly suggest some comfort meds like clonidine (non addictive), gabapentin or a short term benzodiazepine. Avoid alcohol or over the counter benadryl like drugs . They will make the withdrawal worse. Find a nice comfy recliner or couch , some headphones, and your favorite music . You'll come out of this tougher and wiser . It'll be a spiritual journey. Your still young and you wasn't on it too long , sooo you may recover faster than long term users .
 
Hello Fhizzy!!

I can't answer how long your wd's will last on Subs but others will jump in, I just wanted to say I relate so much to that first week or so of feeling that weird emotional shift. I pray that won't last long for you.

I'm glad you posted here, you will get a lot of support. I am really proud that you have quit!!!! You have a wonderful attitude and you are still so young, it is such an advantage that you are stopping at your young age..

Here for you if you ever need anything, pm me if you need to,
your friend,
Ash.

Hey guys, I'm just going to jump right into this. I've been on Suboxone for the last roughly 10 months give or take. During this time i cant really tell you my dosages, It was daily, i got to the point where i was doing up to 8-12mg daily but getting nothing in return. I've struggled with addiction since i was 18 years old and i'm now 23. In the last 3 days I've relocated to my mothers house 330miles away from where i was active in my addiction. I moved out here because i know i now have no choice but to get clean. I had been plannning on moving out here for sometime and about 2 months before the move i began to ween myself down on my suboxone taken roughly 2mg-3mg daily. Today is now day 2 of being clean so far its not very bad, i just feel very fatigued, and still very dull to the world for example, nothing makes me laugh at this point, or happy, its like i have no emotion. Im scared what i may face for the next days or weeks to come, I'm hoping i dont have serious withdrawal, as i was preparing myself for this moment a while before i came here. That is the reason for the weening. Honestly, idk why i posted here, but i dont know anybody where i moved to, and am just seeking support of some kind. Just typing this out has made me feel better. I just want to put this portion of my life behind me, and know what being happy feels like again. Thanks
 
Fhizzy-

Hi, I'm Dale- You wrote:
for example, nothing makes me laugh at this point

I used to work at the unemployment department. The worst part about working there is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.
After that, I was an an electrician - but most people were shocked when they found out how bad I was.
I just got a new job, and I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today. He said “Dream on.” I think that was really nice of him.

Dale :)
 
Hi Fhizzy

You made a wise decision moving away. Very wise.

You may want to get some comfort meds if you're able to. Such as Neurontin (gabapentin), clonidine, etc. There's a thread on the best things to take during opiate w/d. There's both over the counter and prescription meds listed.

Other ways to prepare is making sure you get supplies- before you feel really bad. Such as Gatorade, soups and easy to prepare foods. Push fluids- if your stomach is up to it. Try to eat a little as well. Such as bananas, pudding, rice. Easy on the stomach type stuff.

You may not feel good tomorrow. Subs have a long half-life. It can take 3 or four days to start feeling bad. If you or your mom can- try to get the things you need before you need them.

We're all pulling for you Fhizzy. Almost all of us have experience w w/d
 
You guys are amazing. Thanks so much for the support you have already shown and Dale I'd be lying if I said I didn't crack a smile at that. Hikfromstik I'm no stranger to w/d. And I havnt loved myself in a long time. I tell myself I'm ready to quit but my drug addict mentality is impatientent wanting everything right now and not wanting to wait. I'm 100% confident I will make it through. I just dread the in between and wish for the time when I'll feel like a normal human again. As for it otc meds and what not I don't have much to compensate for the withdrawal. I have just multivitamins, st. John's wart, and ginko bilboa not sure how much the last 2 will help but I've did some research. Today wasn't terrible. But I do get the occasional goosebumps and my skin just feels strange. I like to think it might not be awful but we can only pray for the best. Thanks again for all your support. I'll definatly be in touch.
 
Fhizzy-

On a serious note: Withdrawals are tough and they take way too long, but you have to get through it. In the early days of WDs, if you feel really bad, do anything and everything (legal) you can to distract yourself. Play music, go sit outside, pray - whatever still holds interest to you, do it to distract yourself from how you feel. I used to lay down, put the fan on, then cover up in blankets and close my eyes. I'd try to concentrate on whatever image came into my head and I'd try to change the color by thinking about it. I also kept telling myself "You can beat this - just give it one more day" and I'd do that again the next day every time I felt like it was too hard. You can even sort of trick yourself into thinking you must have caught the flu (maybe you did). You know you can't stop it from running it's course. Withdrawals are a lot like the flu symptoms.

Try to image yourself in another few weeks - you are feeling better, sleeping better and you are beginning to feel what "normal" is without drugs. You can get there. Many of us have done it - many have failed, but what really makes a difference is how much you want to be free of drugs. If you are highly motivated to stop, then you will get through whatever you have to in order to stop. Being impatient about getting it over with is one reason people give up. Accept that it is going to take time for your brain and body to repair itself so it works well without drugs. Give yourself that time to heal. If you can do it, you'll never regret it. Life is good sober.

you wrote:
dread the in between

I know what you mean about "the in between time." It's like I never minded going to work - it was the eight hour wait to go home that I couldn't stand.
Your BL friend,
Dale
 
Good luck mate I wish you well.For your detox try getting some lyrica it was a wonder drug for my detox it could work for you.Like people have said get comfort meds it will make detox easier.It will be hard but it can be done.Ive done it and I'm not known for my will power.Wishing you the best mate
 
Like people have said get comfort meds it will make detox easier.

Just a few words of advice: Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night :-)

Your BL friend,
Dale
 
I continue to thank you guys so much for the support. I will say that at this moment the end of day 3 I feel much more confident about getting sleep tonight. Yesterday night was hellish. Went to sleep finally around 4 am to wake up at 8am. I walked into the garage to get a bottle of water and let my dog in that my mom leaves in the garage until I wake up. Well the I shut the door behind me while getting the water from the fridge and I had managed to lock myself out. I thought what a shitty start to a shitty day. So I managed to find a phone to borrow and my mom came and let me back in. I managed to grab some more sleep after that from 10am to 2am. I felt very weak and fatigued for part of the day but in all honesty once I got woken up later in the evening I had 0 chills and did feel feel slightly better. Let's pray that maybe it won't be as bad as i psych myself out to think it will be. Still very grateful for you guys. I'm pretty tired and confident I'll get decent sleep tonight. See you guys soon.
 
You on day three mate congrats keep at it.You should have hit the peak now depending on what you used.You will feel better from now each day.Sleep issues are a bitch I still not sleeping properly up at 4 today so 5 hours sleep.If you feel to tired after days of short sleep take a vali or lyrica it's such a difference after getting full sleep.Stay strong bruv you nearly there.
 
Keep it up Fhizzy,
You seriously rock!!!!


You're doing so well!!! Glad you're feeling a little better, every day you will continue to improve. Remember that.

Here if you need anything,
your friend,
Ash.

I continue to thank you guys so much for the support. I will say that at this moment the end of day 3 I feel much more confident about getting sleep tonight. Yesterday night was hellish. Went to sleep finally around 4 am to wake up at 8am. I walked into the garage to get a bottle of water and let my dog in that my mom leaves in the garage until I wake up. Well the I shut the door behind me while getting the water from the fridge and I had managed to lock myself out. I thought what a shitty start to a shitty day. So I managed to find a phone to borrow and my mom came and let me back in. I managed to grab some more sleep after that from 10am to 2am. I felt very weak and fatigued for part of the day but in all honesty once I got woken up later in the evening I had 0 chills and did feel feel slightly better. Let's pray that maybe it won't be as bad as i psych myself out to think it will be. Still very grateful for you guys. I'm pretty tired and confident I'll get decent sleep tonight. See you guys soon.
 
Hang in there . You'll have your good days and bad . Just remember that sleep is important for the brain to heal. During WDs, the worst days are the day after a night of sleeplessness. Your gonna squash this. We all believe in you here . Lots of caring people on BL.
 
Yuba- you wrote:
Your post made me crack up laughing did that happen to you.

Maybe - but I'd lie if anyone else but you asked me :-)
 
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Wanted to make a post to you guys. So basically today is day 6 of no opiates right but I've hit a slight bump in the road but I'm already regretting it. Basically today I picked up a bag a red Bali kratom I thought that it would help curb my intense cravings that I've been having. The last 2 nights were actually pretty good as I was able to get full nights sleep each night but with little motivation during the day to do anything also still no satisfaction of life everything still dull. So anyway earlier today I got that kratom and I won't lie it was very nice especially because I guess in a way it triggers my reward pathways in my brain so it made me feel almost as I would while on opiates or sub. My last dose was at 2 pm and it's now 2 am and I believe it has brought my withdrawals back to haunt me. There not terrible my body is just hot and sweats under blankets but cold goosebumps when not covered up. I already know where this road leads me. And I know that if I just don't do it again and tough it out it will probably subside quickly. I just wished I hadn't blown the Benjamin picking this crap up. And with my drug addict mentality it's almost impossible for me to just not touch it with it being in my possession. I'd hate to flush it because it would be 100% waste of money but I'm not about to trade one dependency for another. Maybe I'll just give it to my mom and have her get rid of it. Anyway. It's currently 2:22am I'm supposed to wake at 8 to go kayaking with her and my stepdad. It's prolly in my best interest to leave it alone as I already regret how I feel now. But I just long for that release of dopamine that drugs always gave. Idk...why must life be so hard. And really is it that big of a deal? I just feel like now that I know The feeling of what drugs once gave me that I'll never shake that feeling and always want them. Anyways. Hopefully I'm not dead tired tomorrow. And I know I can trust my mom. She won't be mad... But my diseased mind will be wishing I hadn't dumped them or gave to her to dispose as soon as I get another craving. Can't win for losing I suppose. I hope this is okay for the sober living as I'm trying. Just a small bump, that could lead to a pothole if not careful. Prayers pls. Love you guys
 
It's hard choice mate I know the amount of time I have flushed valium and lyrica.But if it is doing you harm you should get rid.The money wasting will piss you off but how much money have you wasted on.
 
Meant to say the amount of money you have wasted on gear.Recovery is better then a little money wasted.Also every once in a while take a valium to get caught up with sleep.will do the world of good.Stau strong mate every time you get cravings just think the cravings do go away.I know how hard it is but things do improve
 
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