^^ Good stuff, being able to put some away, you know you have a problem (or will have a very real problem 'soon') if you consume all the "little green pills" you have in your possession. I know I have to watch myself now as for the first time, my GP gave me a script, via the mail no less for 180, 60 X 80 per month for my pain relief but the script is available to be refilled every 20 days, I don't know if that's normal or something he asked for, I won't be seeing him until this coming Saturday, 6 days away and counting.
I know his mind has been elsewhere of late, he either is in the middle of a divorce or actually just got past the legalities from what he has told me, he was "on to me" as in interested in my pain and pain relief/what I do, now for the past month or two, he's just like giving me scripts with that absent look which I know is due to his divorce. Also of late, he's letting his appointments get further and further behind, each time I'm there (usually in the first 3-8 appointment times of the day as I book ahead due to knowing I need to see him week(s) in advance) and I see patients take from 20-30 minutes for his 15 min appointments where in the past for my experience, I'd be able to be seen roughly close to my appointment time, now it's up to 1+ hr late each time, even if I'm the third person in line for the day...
So, must keep telling myself not to take advantage of this, even if I don't consciously mean to, mustn't go every 20ish days for my 30 day periods of usual pain meds, although with the recent 'big news' of BL, I'm feeling VERY wanting to neck a heap of 80s more than usual, even when not in physical pain, something I normally don't do but not often someone I feel close to these days does what has happened.
But from past history, like when I was first prescribed oxycontin, within 1-2 months I was taking up to 320mg daily and beyond as time went past due to natural tolerance just seemed to be stupidly high although never had any opiods recreational ever. Also past evidence of 'tolerance' is morphine in a hospital environment has never done 'anything' feeling/pain relief wise even at their stated maximum dosage, yet pethidine seems to work a gun for me. So as I keep saying in various OC threads, I hope to find the cause of this one day in an official capacity (pain clinic appointment is due, just waiting for it to happen, date is so yet as unknown)
So I still always have in the back of my mind not to get 'bad', so far even when I was on the 'stupid amounts' of several 100mg a day, the GP back then (was even prescribing them with no authority etc, very 'wrong') must have been found out and he made me stop OC use all of a sudden, which I did for a month or two, no WD symptoms it seemed at all, only WD feelings I've had so far was a time I stopped my daily tramal use a few Xmas' ago, but I still don't want to get the monkey on my back with OC use, so far I seem to be winning that 'war'