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How hard is it to off yourself on heroin

cyberius

cyberius

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 11, 2013
Messages
1,571
Serious question, I don't want to struggle anymore.

Nothings out there and I'm the only person that's real
 
Too off yourself? What do you mean? Like kill yourself? Please dont. If you need to talk, im here.
 
No one is going to help you kill yourself... There's a likely possibility you will be revived after oxygen to your brain is cut off and you end up waking with irreversible brain damage. Think of how your family will react finding your lifeless corpse and having to arrange for its' removal. You need to go to the nearest hospital possibly by ambulance and tell them what you are going through so you can be put into an emergency psych evaluation... No one here will help you kill yourself.
 
Cyberius, I am sorry that you are suffering. I wish that there were words that could help. We--and by that I mean all the members and staff and former staff that know you and care about you--wish that we could help. We cannot advise suicides. I hope that you do not take that route. You have come out of this dark place before and you could do it again. I know you feel exhausted and worn out. I do not blame you for that one bit. You have an amazing mind and minds like yours can be like trying to stay on a bucking bronco. I truly believe that all of us can learn to live with ourselves with patience and compassion. I believe that for you. I hope you make it through this time. You have so much intelligence and creativity to offer the world.<3
 
when i feel suicidal i promise myself i'll do it in a week if i still feel that way. and i mean it, so i feel loads better knowing the pain will end soon. but i'm still here. worth a shot?

as to offing yourself on dark- i used to regularly mix benzos booze and gear in half arsed attempts at suicide and worst i got was massive blisters in odd places where i'd put pressure on myself. ld50s don't help once you have tolerance or mixtures to factor in,

i may be trying it myself soon but if i get it right i won't be around to tell you, guess no one who got it right is gonna be there to tell you. is there really no chance of anything worth living for ever happening again? is getting to something worth living for fro where you are right now so difficult its not worth it? sorry i know you don't wanna be told to live, i'm half asking these questions to myself cos i can see these chips falling into place for me.
 
Eh fuck this shit I'd rather die than stay sober. I'm just going to get a job and keep on tweaking on the lowkey
 
Although I have no idea of what dosage you would need to off yourself from your drug of choice I can tell you that at any given time I have more than enough medicine in my house to OD two or three people at least. Especially because I am a polysubstance user, although all of my medications are prescribed. There are more days than I'd like to admit where I almost ended it because I I feel useless in this world.

I've been in pain management since ~2004. I was fine until 2 years ago when a nasty bacterial infection took over a lung, put me in a coma, and left numerous scars on me as they desperately tried to save me for several months. They thought I would wake up pretty much a vegetable. Because the infection was on my lungs my oxygen level was below 70% and they believe it was that way for at least 4 to 5 days with the infection being in place for at least 2 weeks.

Since I've gotten out of the hospital I absolutely know that I have brain damage but I cannot convince anyone in my family, and I have one heck of a large family. I feel slow, sluggish, my short-term memory is shot and I have lost pieces of my long-term memory.

Why am I saying all of this? The one thing that keeps my feet on this planet is my four children. When I was in a coma in the hospital my children were completely beyond console. My siblings were in meltdown and we are all in our mid-to-late fifties but it was my own children's response to their mother almost dying that stops me from ever od'ing on my medicine. I will never intentionally cause that kind of pain to them. They age from 23 to 34 and need me so I'll smile, laugh and be there for them.

I decided to make a plan to perhaps change my daily loneliness, although nothing can fix the dark place I lived and died in at the hospital.
 
For me, it was ridiculously easy. All I did was pop Clonazepam all day, then smoke a gram of H. Luckily I survived, but came about as close to death as you possibly can (had hallucinations of the grim reaper taking my soul away). Let me tell you, death by respiratory depression is not the way you want to go buddy. Get your mind right.
 
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