HPPD, XTC and Anxiety

[Henkneedshelp]

Hey guys.

Im 19 and last weekend (4 days ago) i used ecstasy for the first time. I took less then 1/4 of a pill and 3 hours later 1/4 again. At most it was half a pill (not tested, i know thats really stupid).

I have done weed before but between every smoke there was about 1 to 2 weeks break.

Now my questions is do i have hppd?
The moment i woke up the next day of taking ecstasy i was scared that something was wrong with me. I had some blurred vision and a bit of a headache. So i started looking online and found out about HPPD. Now i am trying to see if i have the symptomsbthey discribe and guess what? i do have some of the symptoms.

I have the visual snow one but only if i focus on it but yea its still scaring me.

I do have afterimages but only when i look in really bright lights and itbonly stays for 0.5 second.

And some bright car light have like this star shape but i think i had that as a child aswell.

So yeah what do you guys think?

I also want to mention that during the trip i didnt halucinate so im not sure if i eveb can get hppd without having halucinated. And the trip was good.

The thing im most scared about is that i will never be able to drink a beer and smoke weed again. (i read that people with hppd cant to that anymore cause it increase the symptoms).

What i dont have is things morphing in stuff and i dont halucinate. I dont feel disconnected with myself.

Am i overthinking stuff or what?

Thanks for reading,
Henkneedshelp

 

[herbavore]

In short, yes, I think you are worrying too much about something that will be temporary or is is actually normal (looking a bright lights always gave me afterimages, even before I ever did drugs of any kind).

As far as not being able to drink or use weed, I don't that is going to be true based on this. But let me ask you this? Would you be willing to just give your brain a rest for a while and concentrate on your health and your life unaltered? (I don't mean never having a beer or a toke. I mean not getting stoned most days and drinking to the point of high or drunk. Just pick a reasonable amount of time and give it a go to live life without substances. I think this is healthy for everyone to take long enough breaks to change the relationship they have with drugs.

 

[Henkneedshelp]

hey herbavore,

So to start off with i never really got too drunk and i never got so baked that i couldnt really do anything anymore.

Last time i got drunk is probablt 1 to 1.5 years ago. And yes i got stoned once in a while but never often or too much.

I am planning to stop all drugs (including beer) for 1 month if i didnt recover by then i will add another month so on and on.

Its just that i want to be able to enjoy a beer or a joint once in a while.

I had HOCD before this so i know i obsess about stuff. (HOCD= Homosexual Obsessive Compulsion Disorder)

thanks

 

[herbavore]

Well, that sounds entirely reasonable and that's why I tried to make that distinction. It's also good that you realize that you have a propensity to obsess. You can use that awareness to interject calming thoughts into your thought process when you start to worry. When my brain goes into anxiety hyperdrive I like to treat it like an annoying neighbor..."Here comes Mrs. Voice of Anxiety with her same old tired fear mongering. Yada Yada Yada."

 

[Henkneedshelp]

When my brain goes into anxiety hyperdrive I like to treat it like an annoying neighbor..."Here comes Mrs. Voice of Anxiety with her same old tired fear mongering. Yada Yada Yada."

Haha i like that one i will keep it in mind.

But im also scared my anxiety is going to give hppd!! (i read somewhere that can be the case) I just really dont want it.

And can only half a pill already cause hppd? (i never had any other drugs except for weed and beer but not much). Maybe you d o t know haha since hppd is not well studied.

 

[herbavore]

I've never read that anxiety can cause HPPD. I'd be interested if you could provide a source for that. I have HPPD which has lessened over time to practically non-existent but was caused by an over-use of LOTS of psychedelics when I was very young. To be perfectly honest, I enjoy the occasional trails, afterimages etc.

 

[Henkneedshelp]

Im not sure anymore where i read it. (i have been reading stuff about hppd for 2 days straight now...) it something saying that anxiety can cause the symptoms to be worse, i think because you focus so much on it or something.

Im happy you enjoy them but i only have the visual snow thing and someone on another forum told me that a comedown from xtc can take longer than a few weeks. i just hope o dont have it.