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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Today decided I am going to stop this relapse in its tracks.

I woke up with an intense headache as well. No fun. I think in my case it must still be the general anesthesia working its way out of my system.

You do have a very complicated struggle trying to be your own best manager of your life and your chronic pain. You know yourself best though and doctors have so many preconceived notions and outside influences that have nothing to do with healing. Keep at it and I know you will get things under control whatever that may mean for you individually.<3
 
Good job working this out! I feel you with the chronic pain, how my addiction started - with prescribed pain meds. Now I take paracetamol with Chlorzoxazone to relax the muscles. Was hellish to stop and I have to avoid the things that makes the pain worse (static positions etc).
 
Thanks both of you! I'm still clean, although a little bump of good feeling is tempting, but my prefrontal cortex keeps steering me away from the stash. I guess I know that in the big picture, sticking to my script is the best way to ease pain.
 
Hey CfZrx, how's your day going? It's finally raining here--a real rain rather than just a mist so my mood is high. Knowing the trees are getting a good drink does my soul good.:)

Is your pain effected by cold weather?
 
herbavore said:
Hey CfZrx, how's your day going? It's finally raining here--a real rain rather than just a mist so my mood is high. Knowing the trees are getting a good drink does my soul good.:)

Is your pain effected by cold weather?
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Herbavore,
It sure is nice to be in the midst of the rainy season :) No, I have not noticed much change in pain from weather, but I can see how my recent disc bulge (or whatever it was) in the c5/c6 area of my neck could have been related to the cold making me more stiff than usual. Two days a week I have to sit outside for work and in the cold it is difficult. On a side note,I made some Black Jack strain coconut oil for eating. It seems to be quite effective. :)
 
I used for two days to get through a shitty situation, took 15mg as a third day taper, and am back on track, day 3 no morphine. Methadone (low dose for pain), kratom, and thc only. Feeling good about myself. Still have a few of those pills, gonna try to save em for a true need situation. It was not super easy to use hard two days and abruptly stop, just to keep it real. My gf seemed traumatized when she realized I was using. I managed to get through this month-ish relapse undetected until this weekend.
 
My feelings on Chipping: It destroys my homeostasis that I fought so hard for, and is thus not worth messing with. A little morphine here and there makes my usual means of feeling good ineffective. I guess people who take XR drugs for pain, but have break through meds must have to consider this all the time. I wonder how often they find they can utilize breakthrough meds without messing up homeostasis?
Anyways, be safe, don't chip,
CfZrx
 
I believe I'm back on day 5 sobriety. I think this is where one starts to balance out again. I don't think I'll be so quick to revert to my escapist behaviors now that I experimented with doing so and it was kind of torturous. Anyone else out there got a few days into sobriety?
 
Good job catching yourself. IMO chipping is a terrible idea and almost never works out. Convincing yourself that it's okay is the addict brain rationalizing. Continually making myself believe I could chip after getting past withdrawals is the reason I was an opiate addict for 10 years rather than 1 year, or 2 years, or 3 years... etc. It's a lie you tell yourself so you can start using opiates again.
 
Xorkoth said:
Good job catching yourself. IMO chipping is a terrible idea and almost never works out. Convincing yourself that it's okay is the addict brain rationalizing. Continually making myself believe I could chip after getting past withdrawals is the reason I was an opiate addict for 10 years rather than 1 year, or 2 years, or 3 years... etc. It's a lie you tell yourself so you can start using opiates again.
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Addiction is a lot like having two personalities.

The amount of energy I get from not using is so worth it. 7 hours sleep, a cup of joe and I'm good to go :)
 
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