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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Need motivation from the community I love

The kid I've been spending half my food stamps on just ditched me and took all his shit back to Montana to turn himself in the the police for being on the run from house arrest. I am completely alone. I went to the beach and was just FILLED with anxiety. Cold, dark, alone, windy. Guys I am fucking scared. I am using the money I got today to travel back to my hometown tomorrow. I wrote the google maps word for word on paper.. 4 Buses, 2 trains, and just about 2 miles of walking. I am terrified. My chest is exploding. Someone please talk to me :((((( I havent been totally alone in a while now and it's for this reason alone.

The only good thing is that my mom agreed to feed me until i can get into the military. shes also gonna drive me to the recruiters and to the DMV etc. Still means being completely alone and homeless for 2 months. My chest :(
 
Fuck family, personally. I don't have family. You don't need to rely on your family to get out of this. I was homeless before. I lived in shelters and on random couches and in my car (until it broke down). I got back on my feet thanks to temp agencies and a crisis drop in center that got me approved for a housing grant. So I paid zero rent for a year while I lived in an apartment and got a job again and had food stamps and went to food banks and soup kitchens when I needed to. That's what kept me afloat. I used dxm heavily and drank a lot during that time. But I made it out alive. That was 8 years ago. You can do this. You need to try and utilize every single resource available to you. Call 211. They have the keys to all social service resources. Shelters may have to do until you can get back on your feet. I know they're not desirable and some of them come with some shitty rules but they're a warm bed and food in your stomach. You CAN do this.

Also I don't think the military is the answer, but maybe for some people it is. Who knows. I think it's a waste of your life, personally. But for some people it saves their lives.
 
Oh yeah! !! Zombies makes a great point. Try n get to a public phone w pen n paper n dial 211. They'll give you a list of current local available resources. If you can arrive at even one agency via walking you may get help linking up with the other resources on the list.


You're not as alone as you feel. We all care and will give whatever practical advice we can come up with each step of the way. Hang in there !
 
Thank you all for your help. I used the church money to travel home to my hometown to live homeless here. My parents agreed to feed me last night and left me food. Turns out it was 30 degrees last night. I attempted to sleep in the park but ended up shivering so fiercely for hours while crying that I risked sneaking into my backyard to sleep on the couch where there was extra blankets. The next day (today) I came to shower because they said I could.

NOW I AM ALLOWED TO SLEEP IN THE GARAGE AGAIN AND ALSO COME IN THE HOUSE WHEN EVERYONES AROUND AND I ALSO GET TO BE HERE INSIDE FOR CHRISTMAS. I AM CRYING GUYS. THEY ARE GOING TO HELP ME GET INTO THE ARMY AND FEED AND SUPPORT ME FULLY WHILE I LIVE IN THE GARAGE UNTIL I CAN GET IN. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FORBEING HERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT I LOVE YOU ALL TO DEATH.
 
That's awesome news Psych-- merry Christmas! I pray it all works out for you , and you become the person You (*and secondarily your family ) can be Proud of !

Stay good my friend .
 
Thank you guys :)))))) Merry Christmas! I am quite warm eating totinos pizza rolls right now :) My life has been saved. 6-7 months of being homeless, having knives pulled on me, being robbed by crips, being picked up by millionare pedophiles in Palm Springs, doing lots of meth, freezing all night sleeping in a handball court on the concrete, risking jail time for stealing bike parts all day, getting into fistfights with crazy people, hearing my mom cry her eyes out on the phone, starving and running out of food stamps, picking up dope bags on the side of the road to lick the powder, panhandling every night for beer money, and feeling more stuck than ever to being inside next to a X-mas tree with X-mas music on and eating pizza rolls after having long, deep, happy convos with the people I hold dearest to me. Complete 180. I won't take advantage of this opportunity. I will enlist. I will fix my life. I will chase my music dream. I will succeed. I will continue to help people on Bluelight. I love you all.
 
What a relief n God bless that forgiving family.
Love can go an awfully long way towards understanding
What I'm happiest to hear (besides the warm shelter n good food in your belly ) is that you're having REAL conversations w your folks.

Good job. Good move.
Keep making good choices!
 
I am so happy to hear the news! I have been watching but silent (like many) but praying for you and praying your family had a change of heart. YAY!

You can do this!

Actually, this was the only Christmas present I wanted. To have you off the streets, warm, fed, and with a positive attitude and renewed determination. Don't dwell on the past. Let it go. Start fresh. I am proud of you and I want you to know you are loved.
 
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