To be more clear ive been a speed freak since i was prescribed addy at 13 (didnt know it at the time like with any drug at the start, didnt realize my dependence until i was taken off at 16 because my psychiatrist thought my smoking weed would cause seizures for some reason). When i tried mdpv, which is the first non prescribed drug besides synthetic mj, I had no idea what i was getting into. I was a 17 yr old pothead prescribed adderall, naive to addiction ( didnt admit to myself about my adderall addiction until i was 18 because denial is easy when youre prescribed something for legitimate reasons) and mdpv took my soul even months after i couldnt get it i still chased that feeling because i felt empty inside (still do at times but thats my bipolar ive come to realize.. took me a while to believe i was bipolar as well but diff story off topic sorry).
Between age 17-19 i tried every class of drug. Literally everything (and to the extreme might i add. first time i took xanax i did 4 bars with no tolerance. First opiate i did was a roxy 30 and i snorted 2 within an hour.. most other drugs went the same way to the extreme) opiates, benzos, meth, crack (obviosly tried coke first, still love cocaine but im a tweaker/borderline alcoholic and cocaines high price and short duration is the main reason im not a regular coke user), otc highs like dxm, and diphenhydramine in doses to cause full blown delerium (did 600 mg my first time trying to 'trip' off benadryl).
Anyway my main point was mdpv was my gateway into full blown addiction. I havent been sober more than a few days (and the few small jail stints ive done. dont count those though i had no choice) since I was 17. I have an extremely addictive personality and i thank god that I stopped doing opiates when i did ( i was using blues ,or percs if i couldnt find 30s ,every day for a few week period and somehow my best friend who was a intravenous heroin addict got through to me by telling me how his use started off the same and within a year he was shooting dope). I still will do opiates whenever the oppurtunity presents itself though i dont seek them out. Mental w/d is hard as it is. I couldnt imagine the crippling physical w/d along with it. Though if i dont get a hold on my drinking ill kniow what it feels like sooner or later. Ive already reprogrammed my brain to automatically reach for a drink at the slightest hiccup in life.
Anyway mdpv stole my soul and ive been an addict ever since. Mainly uppers but as you can see ill do whatever is around if i cant tweak it up. Alcohol is my first choice when i cant get drugs right away and alcohol is also there when im doing any drug. I dont even like drinking that much tbh but the liquid comfort continues whispering to me even if i dont want to indulge.
I know this post was a rant but yeah the full back story on how mdpv really screwed my brain.