I know this has already been said but, unfortunately, there is no way in hell this is going to work in the way that you want it to.
I even think it has the potential to have quite a negative effect because if I understand it correctly the process by which you hope to enact this unrealistically fantastical transformation is basically going over everything about yourself that you don't like, and then going over everything that you wish that you were (and currently are not). This kind of thorough self-critical introspection is a recipe for a psychedelic disaster.
You talk about not wanting to even remember the person you used to be, I don't see how you can believe that this is possible. While personally I do believe that at some level human consciousness is essentially just software, we do not currently have the ability to rewrite, edit and delete parts of our personalities like they were computer programs. Our consciousness is heavily tied in to the physical organisation of neurons in the brain, and the level of change that you are hoping to effect would likely require extensive reorganisation of your neural pathways with a precision and rapidity that again, is just not possible with any drug currently in existence.
I would note also that it's totally normal not to be able to "argue away" irrational emotions, our emotions arise from a deeper level of the brain, not subject to direct regulation of our frontal cortex, from which reason and most other higher brain functions arise. If negative emotions could just be argued away then, well, life might be a lot easier and plenty of mental health professionals would suddenly be out of a job. This is a hard-coded biological "limitation", if you like, of being human, and you're not going to be able to change yourself in a way that makes this not the case... although with the right approach, persistence, and time you can dampen these irrational emotional responses.