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[MDPV_Psychosis]

I am clean. I'm just fearful that with opiate addiction in my past and horrific depression / health concerns currently, that I will be seeking something soon that's not-so-healthy.
I Want to try an anti depressant called tianeptine. .. not FDA approved here in the States but I don't care . I've tried all the other available crap here n nothing's right for me. The med I am talking about has opiate like properties from what I understand. So even if I get some and it helps me, it could harm me....
I'm at my wits end otherwise and terrified of another Dark winter . That's when the mood gets lowest.

That's where its at.
I am sad / angry/ terrified alllllllll the time.
Thanks, everyone who responded.

Tianeptine is a horrible choice for somebody who struggles with opiate addiction.

If you can stick to therapeutic dosing it works great as an antidepressant but if you dose higher/more frequently then it's opioid like effects come through.

The opioid like effects are strong and short acting (with higher than therapeutic doses). It can cause compuslive dosing, tolerance rises fast, addiction sets in quickly and withdrawals are fucking horrible.

If you think you can stick to therapeutic dosing (I think it's 12.5mg, 2 to 3 times daily) then you might be ok but be aware there is a huge risk here for an opiates/opioid addict.

I thought I could handle therapeutic dosing but as soon as I felt a hint of its opioid effects I started dosing higher and more frequently. I became quickly addicted and still struggle getting off now 2 years later.

If your an opioid/opiates addict I HIGHLY advise you to avoid tianeptine.

 

[shartito]

Starting another opiate rattle today.

Fuck. This cycle. Gets ooooooold.

Kratom doesn’t help like it used to.

I could go buy overpriced pills right now, a 5 minute drive away. And all of this would be over.

On the cigarette subject, I was a heavy smoker for about 20 years. About two years ago I started transitioning to a vape. Which really helps. I still smoke, max is 2 a day. Yesterday I only had one.

I find now that if I smoke too many cigarettes I get an ill feeling. And I definitely don’t enjoy them like I used to. Part of it, as mentioned above, is just the ritual of taking a break at work, and going outside to light up. On the weekends, when I’m home, I don’t smoke cigs at all. Like 0.

 

[Scrofula]

Anyone else notice it's impossible to edit posts on a phone? That giant "delete post" button just won't let scroll past.

Do you have any idea how fucking long it takes to do these on my shutterbug?

More importantly, That's four witty and insightful posts the world will never see.

 

[CFC]

The solution for me is to go to ADVANCED reply. Then it works fine. Otherwise use desktop version on your mobile.

(edit) No actually, that's only when I'm replying. When editing, the only way is to use desktop mode.

 

[Runningfox]

Tianeptine is a horrible choice for somebody who struggles with opiate addiction.

If you can stick to therapeutic dosing it works great as an antidepressant but if you dose higher/more frequently then it's opioid like effects come through.

The opioid like effects are strong and short acting (with higher than therapeutic doses). It can cause compuslive dosing, tolerance rises fast, addiction sets in quickly and withdrawals are fucking horrible.

If you think you can stick to therapeutic dosing (I think it's 12.5mg, 2 to 3 times daily) then you might be ok but be aware there is a huge risk here for an opiates/opioid addict.

I thought I could handle therapeutic dosing but as soon as I felt a hint of its opioid effects I started dosing higher and more frequently. I became quickly addicted and still struggle getting off now 2 years later.

If your an opioid/opiates addict I HIGHLY advise you to avoid tianeptine.

***** I know. It's slated at twice per day 25mg I already ordered some. My plan is THIS : try it on Day One and if I am able to FEEL anything buzzish I will have my spouse lock them up and dole out to me the twice daily doses --- AT the appropriate times. So I'm not tempted to even "double-dip". It's in capsule form now so cost a tad more but it's worth trying 1 month n see What gives.
If this med (*which seems described as Both a tryptan style AD n small dose opiate mix) HELPS me to cut back on the massive n destructive gabapentin I've been taking then Praise the Gods .

I will know right away If its tempting / abuse-luring for myself and I will behave in accordance with Common sense.
Oh and it may be a longer lasting dose because it's the Sulfate version not the Sodium. It's expressed more like a slow-release of the med. THIS --if it's on the level should serve to Work For Me (depression / mood/ pain-wise) ANNNNNND NOT be a big enuf Burst of effects to be tempting.
That's the Hope.

I will give it a month's chance.
It's also a good Test for myself; Can I now Responsibly take a med that might make me feel fuggin Decent, without going hog wild n abusing?

 

[Runningfox]

Anyone else notice it's impossible to edit posts on a phone? That giant "delete post" button just won't let scroll past.

Do you have any idea how fucking long it takes to do these on my shutterbug?

More importantly, That's four witty and insightful posts the world will never see.

h

**** yeah I'm still tryin a FIGURE this whole bizarre system out
I have no access to a desktop / laptop/ tablet. . . NOTHIN but Old Reliable , my cute lil outdated Android phone ?

 

[CFC]

Welcome back all... and goodnight!

 

[Slow_Mobius]

Welcome back all... and goodnight!

I feel like I'm missing a clever joke in that picture, but it still made me laugh lol

Good to have BL back up and running

 

[Scrofula]

h

**** yeah I'm still tryin a FIGURE this whole bizarre system out
I have no access to a desktop / laptop/ tablet. . . NOTHIN but Old Reliable , my cute lil outdated Android phone ��

I don't even know what a shutterbug is, dammit. I got a tracfone burner JITTERBUG. and I posted this twice, took five hours.

But MORE IMPORTANTLY, the fryer chicken I prepped tonight had two necks and three gizzards. Now, I support GMO research, but those aren't the parts I'm into.

(Thanks for the tips all. Second post only took two hours.

 

[Slow_Mobius]

Anyone else notice it's impossible to edit posts on a phone? That giant "delete post" button just won't let scroll past.

Do you have any idea how fucking long it takes to do these on my shutterbug?

More importantly, That's four witty and insightful posts the world will never see.

It's a known bug. For the most part, I just use desktop mode

 

[shartito]

Hmmm I use BL on my phone 90% of the time. And I?m always editing posts because my fingers are too damn big for this keyboard. Editing has never been a problem for me. I use Chrome on an iPhone, not sure if that makes a difference or not.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

At least your still cranking out 18 posts a day Scrof, not too shabby with a burner bug..

Did anyone else lose all their subscribed to threads or anything else after that hour long mini crash of BL?

 

[AloeOne]

Jekyl, for gabaB drugs I am considering baclofen. I had a prescription for it before, and it's a decent med. Ever tried it? I got it as a muscle relaxer but saved them for when I ran out of H. I could take 100mg baclofen and actually sleep at the peak of heroin withdrawal before I got my fix again. It made my head feel weird when I was on it - really spaced out, but it controlled the anxiety reasonably well too. If I was taking 30mg of that a day, I'd resort to nowhere near so many benzos in withdrawal.

Otherwise, I would love to have GHB for a while. That'd be my first choice.

Anything you'd recommend looking into for gabaB anxiolytics? Man, I don't know enough about my own brain. I should read up on gabaA and gabaB, where they are located in the mind and how they work together (or maybe not).

GHB is really short, has a pretty narrow therapeutic window and is vicious once consumption gets to be a steady thing... Dangerous as hell to mix with alcohol, too, and I would imagine benzos?

Have you considered gabapentin? Calcium channel blockers are near and dear to my heart when it comes to managing anxiety/over-activation. It also seems to be something GPs are willing to prescribe (good if you dont have a psychiatrist yet), is produced as a generic and helps opiate withdrawal (so I'm told).

Mirtazapine might also be worth looking into... Doses in the 30-60mg range help quite a bit with anxiety/over-activation as well as drug cravings. If nothing else, you'll sleep and eat a ton in the first few weeks. Its also something I could see a GP prescribing, though I'm not sure they would want to go above 45mg.

 

[ShroomySatori]

It's also too hard to get. I'm considering gabapentin so I am going to do some research on it and maybe read the thread. Guitar is helping a lot. I am practicing 4 one hour sessions a day since I got through the withdrawal. Each session I work up a sweat, become exhausted and starving, and I practice cross legged so what a way to attain lotus position eventually. My kneesbetter get used to this soon. I'm planning on seeing my gp soon about anxiety asI cancelled all my oxy scripts and will never return to a pain management clinic. Never heard of mirtazipine andI'm also really into natural stuff for healing. I'm supplementing my diet with a lot of healthy stuff and my anxiety is a little lower. So now I have a hobby/passion, I need ajob and a relationship and my anxiety should go way down after that and maybe I won't need so many meds. I'm really satisfied with my progress with my music and it's such a great outlet for anger and loneliness. Suffering breeds creativity.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

It's nice to hear you're doing better Shrooms. Phenibut is a GABAb agonist that also has VDCC action like Gabapentin. Phenibut is uncontrolled and gabapentin is nearly so, but it's great you're leaning towards the healthy, natural route with some of this stuff.

Cancelling the Oxy script is huge in my opinion.

 

[ShroomySatori]

Thank you, I am doing much better but I am angry and frustrated at where I am in life. I agree about the script. Stared at the phone for like 10 minutes before I called. Cancelling the oxy's I've had consistently for years was the last thing I needed to do. I fear the pharmacy more than the dope dealers. The last three relapses occurred immediately after I left the pharmacy with my script. They lasted 3 to 5 days. It is a huge commitment because I will never get a script like that again, it's impossible these days.

I'm taking a lot of stuff to help me: ginger caps for nausea, turmeric for my thoracic spine pain, valerian for anxiety, chamomile, sometimes melatonin to sleep if I need it, L-tyrosene, L-argine, and L-theanine. Lots of green tea and weed before each of my guitar sessions. A good liquid fish oil. Also, vitamin D with k2 as I'm probably deficient. Magnesium, and a B complex. Lots and lots of water, and coconut water too. Protein supplementation as well.

I'm doing okay but I am lonely and pretty damn miserable, I again fucked up a potential relationship by being a fucking dumbass. Just refuse to give up. I want a new job and a healthy relationship, and also to eventually form a band since my guitar playing has been phenomenal since I got clean and with 4 sessions a day I'm improving really fast. It's easy for me to really get down on myself but guitar is my outlet.

Hope you are well.

 

[Scrofula]

At least your still cranking out 18 posts a day Scrof, not too shabby with a burner bug..?

What're you trying to say? Do you realize how many posters in CE&P are just utterly wrong? All those people need to be corrected, and since no one else can handle the sheer verbiage required, I had to step up. You will thank me one day.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

I agree about the script. Stared at the phone for like 10 minutes before I called. Cancelling the oxy's I've had consistently for years was the last thing I needed to do. I fear the pharmacy more than the dope dealers. The last three relapses occurred immediately after I left the pharmacy with my script. They lasted 3 to 5 days. It is a huge commitment because I will never get a script like that again, it's impossible these days.

I've managed to come through this opioid hysteria unscathed (so far) regarding not losing my oxy strength or quantity but I always pick up my script clean and out of acute W/D's, but dive right back in again and lose but another chance of escaping the cycle.
I almost want to sabotage my script somehow but not burn any bridges because my back pain has me wanting to add a lead coated vent hole in my cranium a few times every year from the insane back trouble. When it's not crazy bad pain Diclofenac sodium works well and if I'm clean from ops it works even better, Opioid Induced Hyperalgesia is REAL.

I also want to try and let my oxy play with methanesulfonic acid & DL-methionine for a day to see what their offspring ends up being before getting away from it for good. Chopping off that O-Methyl group could be fun. Maybe [mention]Scrofula[/mention] or Limpet_chicken could tell me their opinions on this.

I'm taking a lot of stuff to help me: ginger caps for nausea, turmeric for my thoracic spine pain, valerian for anxiety, chamomile, sometimes melatonin to sleep if I need it, L-tyrosene, L-argine, and L-theanine. Lots of green tea and weed before each of my guitar sessions. A good liquid fish oil. Also, vitamin D with k2 as I'm probably deficient. Magnesium, and a B complex. Lots and lots of water, and coconut water too. Protein supplementation as well.
I'm doing okay but I am lonely and pretty damn miserable, I again fucked up a potential relationship by being a fucking dumbass. Just refuse to give up. I want a new job and a healthy relationship, and also to eventually form a band since my guitar playing has been phenomenal since I got clean and with 4 sessions a day I'm improving really fast. It's easy for me to really get down on myself but guitar is my outlet.

From what you've mentioned in the past you got some skills in the kitchen too. At least when this opioid abstinence becomes permanent you can bounce back to good health without track marks, lung granulomas from shooting pills, or something like early onset amyloid plaque dementia from multiple decades of droog addict behavior. Lastly, so are you still with the girl you met a few months back and were doing well with. Sometimes it sounds like she's gone for good but then again I think you're referring to the one from several years back. Regardless keep on kickin ass Shroomy.

What're you trying to say? Do you realize how many posters in CE&P are just utterly wrong? All those people need to be corrected, and since no one else can handle the sheer verbiage required, I had to step up. You will thank me one day.

Like when @LiquidMethod runs for office and you can dig up the BL archives to show the world? Don't you pad your post numbers with those word games that equate a single word with being a post?

Although this was impressive:

 

[CFC]

^ I could have sworn I was posting more than that in CE&P until I saw the stats lol

 

[CFC]

I feel like I'm missing a clever joke in that picture, but it still made me laugh lol

Good to have BL back up and running

I'm going to pretend that I was pulling a sophisticated in-joke about something sophisticated and clever and mildly supercilious.

Rather than that I just thought a sleeping duckling was cute and cuddly, just like me