Respect to the BL community. This discussion is something special. I have a little story to tell. 3-MeO-PCP is an amazing compound, it has incredible potential.but it also can get pretty hectic. I've been a BL member for a while, gone thru the crazy MXE days, was wild before that. This is my Disco Story...
I was just your average Opiate Addicted/Dependent American. I was on Buperenorphine maintenance for 4 going on 5 years. My life was messy but functional, I was getting by but unhappy as fuck. About 6 months or a year into my maintenance I discovered MXE and the digital universe surrounding it. MXE opened my mind in ways that I had always loved and had forgotten about, BUT.....I'm still a dope fiend drug addict. MXE reminded me that there is more to life than just feeling good, so I found my purpose - to help my Brothers and Sisters(Drug Addicts and Mentally Ill). I was still dependent on Bupe to function, and getting more and more frustrated with my situation as I was a walking contradiction. I convinced myself that Dissociatives were the secret cure to overcome Opiate/Opioid Dependency.........So, I decided I wanted to be clean once and for all off of all Opiates/Opioids. Jan 1st, 2016 I dropped off my Buperenorphine Taper, I was down to .5mg x2 daily sniffed, and started the process of becoming something different/better than what I was previously. I picked the first of the year as a true fresh start and reset, if there ever was a real new year's resolution this was IT! I Partied it up December 31st........after the switch I would not consume any Opiate or Opioid - but I had an arsenal of compounds to help me get thru the withdrawals, I was convinced that I had put together a fitting outro to transition into the next version of myself, a better self. more disciplined and learned.....Well, that confidence caught up with me.
I made it to day 10 or 11 of no Bupe, I was using MXE and 3-MeO-PCP to counteract the overwhelming depression that comes with a 10 year opiate habit......I was doing reasonably well mentally, It was combating the depression excellently, getting rid of the chills, making the aches manageable.......BUT MOTHER FUCKING SLEEP DEPRIVATION comes on like a bitch. During those days I was safe, comfortable, but unable to get rest - no matter what. I was lucky to sleep 4 hours in 2-3 days.....span that out to 10 or 11 days........You start to lose your g o d d a m n MIND.
This is where shit gets bad. I started to think that there were people trying to stop me from detoxing, that they were people coming for me, I started to live in front of my peephole and I would occasionally see people thru it that I verified were not there. The paranoia got bad....I was alone for a majority of this time. I didn't have reference points or people that could bring me back to reality so I made a terrible manic decision.........
The only way to solve these issues is to Move To California NOW! RUN! Pure fight or flight response. In my sleep deprived state, combined with opiate/opioid withdrawal, and the MXE, Weed, 3-MeO-PCP the only option I could think of was to run. I packed everything I owned and that mattered into a bag and a backpack, put that shit in my car and I was out. I didn't know at that time, but I had been fading in and out of my body - I was going and chilling with friends and to them I was somewhat "normal" (whatever the fuck that is) BUT I WASN'T INSIDE OF MY BODY - MY BODY WAS ON AUTOPILOT. These blackouts had been happening and I didn't know because I don't like people being around me when I feel shitty.......SO, I put everything in my car and started to drive to California. Driving is fine at first..........sleep deprivation, fuck, there are SO many things that could've realistically caused me to be paranoid - BUT, does your state have those new call ### if you think someones Drunk/Drugged driving signs...Well, I must of cut off the wrong person for real because they utilized that number against me......A "concerned driver" chose to follow me and stay on the phone with police.......................The first REAL memory that I have is seeing a state highway patrol car adjusting to pull me over. I may be paranoid, but I know when shits about to get real as well - again FIGHT OR FLIGHT, I picked flight. The Cop hadn't even lit me up yet, but I knew what it was...So I ran.
I hit the gas and drove 2 tires in grass 2 tires on the freeway straight to 100-120MPH - If you had to pack up your possessions in a panic what would you have on you in this circumstance? I didn't care about anything except getting rid of felonies - so I started eating and driving. I had an amount of Alprazolam 2mg bars for detoxing that no one should ever have to eat all at once....but I did. I'd put an estimation but that seems counter intuitive to Harm Reduction. I could describe this part more...but probably should not. I took the Staties on a chase for multiple miles while disposing of contraband....once the contraband kicked in I pretty much PITed (PIT) myself (bumping the rear fender to change direction) my car stayed on the road, but spun out across 3 lanes - NO ONE was hurt, I did not hit another car, just a ding on the bumper of my car. It had been raining and the sides of the freeway were muddy -The sludge effect stopped my car in place on the side of the freeway.....But my car was still running - So, what do you do in that situation? In for a penny in for a pound?? I hit the fucking gas and tried to run again I was in the mud too deep. Police run up on both with tazers, they break both windows and shoot me with 2 tazers.........1 Missed 1 got me......BZZZZZZZZZZ - I ripped the taser out, blood and glass flying.........BLACKOUT.
2 Days later....I wake up in the county jail barely able to remember what happened. I did 12 Months in Prison for the story I just told you. I've shared a piece of myself that I've been scared to share, but it has to be told. These compounds are absolutely beautiful and are the definition of personal evolution. I suffered from IV Heroin Addiction for 10 years, I found Dissociatives and they helped point me in the right direction......I, and I cannot emphasize this enough - I DID THIS FUCKED UP SHIT, NOT THE COMPOUND, if you don't have the balls to own your fuckups and learn to do better DONT FUCK WITH DISCOS!
It's been almost 2 years since this happened - I have been clean off Opiates for almost 2 years now, I have my life and sanity back. These compounds are amazing for personal growth and development. Lesson learned. I just wanted/needed to put this into the disco universe. If you don't have respect, you will fuck your shit up.
Back and Better - Mr Meowfish
LUCKILY, No one was hurt during this manic episode. Stay safe Disco Heads.