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How high are you? v. Summertime: livin is easy

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OT: Woke up with a small panic attack like every morning, took 100mg trazadone last night (kinda want a script for that, makes me all dopey in a fun way) as well as a small amount of kratom with my etizolam.

Just dosed 2mg to stop my panic attack, and I honestly can't say I need to dose my sub right now. I'm going down to 1mg today. I feel good, positive even.

Question: think I should kick the sub at 0.5mg or 0.25mg? Obviously the latter would be ideal, but I'll probably lose those tiny pieces of film or miss the underside of my tongue. Maybe I could mix it in some water and add heat for a solution?
I'm gonna try for 6mg of the 3meo, DXM could work too, but yeah it feels weird. I have more experience with it though (and really like the trip lol). 3meo is still mostly uncharted waters for me, but I love dissos and I know I could deal with it properly. I'll have both handy.

Reintroduced Kratom into the mix and it was a good idea. As for the benzos though I'm lost as well. Just gonna have to do that the hard way. Right now I'm considering a slight increase to 2mg 2x a day in order to soften the sub taper. I wanted to dive headfirst into tapering both substances, but that's a little unrealistic. For me at least.

Thanks again for the info, that's probably my last question. Also thanks P2C and Joe, you guys are great :)

OT: nothing atm, woke up earlier than expected. Gonna dose in about an hour.

The dxm might be nasty with kratom as I have had both good and horrible experiences mixing. 3meo and kratom is doable but I never dosed at the same time and the kratom was just enough to keep well

I was actually able to get fleeting minutes of something like sleep when I did some 3 meo afterni went cold turkey.

Also strenuous cardio helps when u get very antsy
 
First off I wanted to reply to devilsgospel, but it turned out to be a little longer than I intended. So I put some NSFW tags around there. Don't want to have to infract myself for off-topic cluttering of this thread. ;)

@devilsgospel;
NSFW:
^Yeah, it's already amazing that you're doing it, period. You have to be realistic about the pace you choose to go with though, having lots and lots (far more than I wish I did) of experience with the w/ds from both substances, simultaneously & seperately.. It is do-able, but it increases the risk of a relapse by an enormous amount. Especially the benzo withdrawals. When the acute w/ds were over for me (the first time around, when I stayed clean for 1,5 years), the PAWS lasted for so long that it was a gigantic trigger and made it SO much harder not to use.

How long have you been taking the sub now? I'd be careful (having experienced methadone w/d for the first time recently I now know what many people on here have said to be true for me as well, namely that long acting opi's are even worse than H or oxy to kick due to duration). I'd consider how long you've been on the sub and how long you intend to stay on them right now. If you're looking to use them long term to build up stability, that's okay, but think it through. You don't want to end up going through a sub withdrawal right after going through oxy/H withdrawals because you accidentally used the sub a few days too long. So if you're planning to use them longer than a week - 10 days, make sure you take it slow with the subs as well. Though, the longer you keep taking them the longer the w/ds will last. Anyway I'm sure you know what I mean, it's just something to consider.

Of course, a few days too long won't make you get a whole month of fullblown sub withdrawal, but it's not something I'd want to experience right after going through the acute withdrawal phase of a short acting opi.

Personally I would probably tackle the opioids first, and then when I'm relatively ok from that (however long that takes), do the same with benzos. To quit opioids (if I have suboxone and come from a short-acting opioid, I wait 4-5 days before my first dose and never use more than 2mg intranasally, otherwise it doesn't do very much for me unfortunately). Although to be perfectly honest, I have no intentions of quitting benzos, not in the near or distant future anyway. Not the way I'm looking at things now. I'm just talking hypothetically, if I were to. (I have many times before, & tried many times more)

The reason I wouldn't even try unless I could taper them one after the other, is because I really can't handle the two together when they are both quite severe.. The insomnia, paranoia, heavy anxiety and eternal duration are too much for me to handle. Most I can do is taper in the mean time (don't recommend it unless you have no choice). I just can't go cold turkey or take the final step to no benzos during opi w/d. The anxiety and the insomnia pretty much drive me CRAZY after a while,
not to mention the dozens of other w/d symptoms and the crushing depression that comes with it.

So if you can avoid it at all, taper them seperately, or if you must do it at the same time for some reason, please take it real slow. Not just for potential danger from quick tapering, but also because of the big increase in relapse chance that comes with it. Scheduling a taper lasting several months might be discouraging and seem like a long time, but getting clean in 14 days time, and then relapsing 10 days later because it continues to feel like the w/ds aren't getting any better is just as, (or probably even more because you'll have to start back from scratch) discouraging. So yeah that's why everyone always stresses that it's best to take the necessary time from the get-go and to be realistic about it to yourself and to the people you'll be close to during your taper.

Doing so will increase the success-chance as well as make it more bearable to do in the first place. Anyway, I've rambled enough off topic in here for now. Hah. Will put up some NSFW tags so I don't have to infract myself. ;)

Once more, best of luck man and (if this place isn't too triggering for you) keep us updated with your progress!

OT:
70mg methadone
6mg bromazepam
2mg alprazolam
25mg hydroxyzine

Feeling rather good; I was opiated most of the day (pretty hard too) from yesterdays methadone dose still. I watched the same movie like 5 times before I got past the first 5 minutes, and it was a pretty entertaining movie too, so that wasn't it. :D I'm sure it's because of the C/T methadone + oxy withdrawal lasting 8 days. Think I'll try 100Mg tomorrow and see if that's too little or 'too much' (as in too noddy to be productive, not as in too much to feel good.. That doesn't exist :D)

Anyway, will see what this 70mg does on its own, might add some parts of a 2nd capsule, but not 2 whole 70mg's, same goes for tomorrow (even moreso) since if I take 140mg I'll be too high again and I got some stuff for which I'll be meeting up with family tomorrow.

I feel like I'm on speed or something, typing so much (especially because of the NSFW book I wrote). But I'm only on some pretty potent downers. Mhh, weird. At least I don't type faster as a result of these drugs, then this post would be even more of a disaster I reckon. :D

Have a good one people,

Nighty night. <3
 
Thanks for the info P2C, you're positively right about the dual taper. I found myself wanting to start recreationally dosing again last night and ended up taking 6mg etizolam. To be fair, I had just cut down on sub and was feeling terrible. I also don't think there's a version of me that could live without benzos, I get anxious and agitated way too easily (my sober self I mean).

The impending sub withdrawal scares me tbh. I know it's gonna be worse than heroin. I've been on suboxone both recreationally and not for about 2 years. Heroin was only about a week of discomfort (that I hardly had to deal with thanks to my stash of other shit) and then the fog lifted. Ironically suboxone is what led me to full agonist opioids in the first place. Never broke 4mg (and even that was rare) though in all my use.

Sorry for my essay as well. Time to dose my drugs. PS sounds like you're getting my opioid experience haha, I'm stimulated by nearly ever one of them. Heroin rarely gave me a nod unless I got some really good tan.

@LSD: Yeah Kratom+DXM doesn't sound pleasant. I wonder how 3meo is gonna feel with it.

Enough rambling for me as well, time to eat and dose my meds. Actually pushed it an extra few hours today. Trazadone helps, but sadly that was all I had.
 
On the dxm and kratom topic...first time I ever did kratom I had no tolerance to opiayes I took 20 g and 120mg dxm. It was every bit as good as heroin. Another time I did small doses once addicted to kratom...I was a college professor at the time and i was about 30 min late to class and half of them were gone because it caused me to shit my brains liquid out and have extreme anxiety.

Just don't stack the krstom on the 3meo. But it's nothing nasty I've done it...just overly stimulating which u don't wamt.

If it makes u feel better I will attempt to coldturkey krstom this weekend armed with high dose lyrica.

oT

All potted up on weed brownies
300mg lyrica snorted
1 pint
Kratom

Breakingy commitment of not getting fucked up during the week...oh well I lasted about 5 days...but had to go buy a gift at the mall and that just screams be high while doing it
 
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Awch. Sorry to hear that man. Any chance this won't lead to a full-on relapse? You still have done some serious tapering, it'd be a shame if it was all for naught. But I would understand either way.. It'd just be a shame ya know..?

I got a huge ass abcess on one of my upper back right teeth. My jaw looks like I've stuffed a tennisball inside it or some shit. Went to the pharmacy today for antibiotics, got them without a script. (I have to bring it in later though, but they know me and know my word is good).

Gonna go see my GP about it tomorrow, and maybe ask him for some exotic pain med (palladone ?! Maybe now's my chance!).
And of course get him to write me the antibiotics i owe + 1 extra incase the abcess hasn't cleared up entirely by the time I'm done taking these. Just incase. It's not like they're abusable or anything so I doubt he will mind.

I'm glad the pain isn't too bad though. Though I'm gonna be telling my GP the absolute opposite. That it's inbearable blablabla and that my old GP gave me palladone when I had an abcess in my lower left jaw the last time. Time released to control the pain & instant for pain spikes. I hope it works, I been wanting to try that shit for so long now. =D
 
I wouldn't call it a full relapse, I feel shitty about it and plan to dump it tomorrow. I admit that I just did another line though. Now I'm smoking a cig on my porch at night lit as a mofo. Started smoking them a few days ago, but I still hardly see the fuss about nicotine. Sure it relaxes me a bit, but any more than one has me feeling weird.

I kinda regret posting about my gf because I know it's not her fault. I'm gonna delete that.

OT: ~50mg heroin, 2mg etizolam, nicotine via American Spirits. My opi tolerance dropped a noticeable amount.
 
Well shit! I was hoping my back up meds were going to be here tomorrow but looks like maybe Monday. Which I have 5 10 mg methadone left so ya it's gonna be a bad weekend I'm sure I'll have wd and I'm not looking forward to it so looks like many of us have felt this horrible horrible symptom of our addictions I wish opiates were legal and we can do what we wished and they were just like a dispensary of weed but for opiates that would be the best thing I've ever thought of lol least I have a lot of Valium and also gabapentin but it makes me super tired maybe if I take small amounts and stack it I know it can be recreational so we will see! Wish me luck I'll keep y'all posted!

Time for work

5 mg methadone snorted
Thrive
5 mg Valium oral
Pepsi and h2o

Joe bean
 
like .01 mg of sub 2 glasses of wine, 75 mg lyrica snorted. just maintaining

hit the lyrica and edibles hard tomorrow though :)
 
Gonna try to get my hands on some palladone (hydromorphone) later today. Curious to see how that'll go. :D

For now: 2mg alprazolam and 70mg methadone from yesterday that's still working.

Good morning everyone.
 
Hydromorphone is really great. I was lucky enough to have a good connection to it for years, and it's wonderful if you don't want to worry about making plans for long-term highness. Short and sweet, amazing with weed like all other painkillers.

OT: I'm running 4 degrees hot (97->101) and was throwing up a bunch earlier. Taking it easy with a couple hits of indica and chilled fruit juice. It feels like I drank a gallon of bone hurting juice tbh. Hoping it clears up so I can at least salvage a little of the weekend.
 
Yeah hydromorphone is great, one of the better morphine-esque highs. Pharma H, in a nutshell. I used to snort them for a short, yet pleasantly noddy high. Palladone is a way cooler name for it, I've yet to hear anyone pronounce the word dilaudid correctly lol.

More shitty news, my gfs mom said I allegedly can't see my psych because we have a mutual friend (they hangout on their days off)??? I find that hard to believe, but then again I can see why such a rule could exist. I'm skeptical as to whether or not that actually came from her mouth or my gfs mother made it up for whatever reason. Like does she not want my money?

At best I wanted some hydroxyzine lol.

OT: another line of fentadope (fuck everything), +2mg etizolam, another cig, gonna take some neurotransmitter supplements and maybe something caffeinated because I'm having trouble not being super fucked up
 
Gonna try to get my hands on some palladone (hydromorphone) later today. Curious to see how that'll go. :D

For now: 2mg alprazolam and 70mg methadone from yesterday that's still working.

Good morning everyone.

The rush of hydro is literally a different drug than heroin or oxy when ived ...it's has a rush to it that is just absent with those other drugs.

Its been years but if I knew where to get it I wouldn't think twice about slamming some
 
Got a script for 28x2.6mg IR (for pain spikes, or what's the word for it again?) Anyway, should be plenty to test this one out. I don't want to be addicted to an even stronger short acting opi though. That's why I love my methadone.

I can pick up the script tomorrow (wasn't in stock), but I also got a script for 30x80mg oxy, so I'll have some fun with that & xanax now. :)

Have a nice friday all.

edit: breakthrough pain! That's what I was looking for.
You've been a real great help with this guys, thanks a lot! :|

(Kidding btw, stuff like that annoys me though, I hate when I can't think of a word for instance, it's a small neurotic trait I guess. =D)
 
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Coming up on a pink vw. 240mg dutch mdma apparently. Last time i did half and it blew me away, this time not so much however i was already pretty wasted otherwise last time.

First half tonight didn't do much other than give me a funny tummy.
Full stomach though so waited an hour. Let's hope this half has me combing my hair with my teeth
 
weed, dxm, opium tea. this one pod i broke open was so flush with latex, i almost giggled.

edit: +10mg valium, how could i forget =D
 
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^I can imagine it now. Made me smile.

OT: 70mg methadone early this morning, then 3x80mg oxy over the course of the day. Can't wait until I can pick up zeh hydromorph. (Noon tomorrow).
 
Well seeing as i just took 40mg of diazepam (valuims) and a .2 of fire heroin and a lil fire ass tree im high as a fuckin kite and can feel the nodd coming on. I feel amazing but i do not recommend anyone ever mix opiates and benzos and god forbid if you do DO NOT FALL ASLEEP ON Those kind of drug combos, you could very easily die
 
In the last 2-3 month or so, I have not been able to become "high" of my methadone at all. This is despite an increase from 60 mg daily to 120 mg daily since summer. With high I do not mean nodding or total euphoria, but just a good mood where your are slight motivated. Actually I have been very depressed since mid juli.

Nothing have changed otherwise with my medication. I get my 2 mg Rivotril (right before bed) and currently 6 mg Alprazolam (2 mg 3 times pr day ~12.00, 15.00 and 19.00 (although I sometimes take it all at once). 600 mg Pregabalin normally 2x300 mg, but sometime the entire dose at once. And then I get 2x25 mg Quetiapin before I go to bed. And then 120 mg Methadone taken at once after breakfast.

Four weeks ago it got extremely bad and I just lay in my bed from morning and slept and much as I could. Some days I didn't leave the bed for anything buy the toilet and food. This took place for 2 weeks and then I jus got enough. So I went to cocaine and amphetamine sulfate (pharmaceutially pure, tested 94%, as long as I manage to keep it try it will maintain this quality (and no, you do not get this kind of quality of amphetamine from that god damn speed paste). So for the last two weeks I have taken about 2 g cocaine (ranging between 74-84% purity) and a small amount of amphetamine each day (maximum 100 mg). I take amphetamine in the morning so I can focus on my work (research - I haven't been working since august - so only with the aid of this shit (coke and amph) do I have the energy to work. And then around noon I start on the cocaine. If I take too much cocaine while working it inflicts the quality of my work in a very high degree).

But from countless acounts of experience I know I am only making things worse for myself. When I stop doing this I will crash hard.

Do anyone have any idea at all concerning what can have this effect on my methadone? Before methadone saved my life and I loved the subble feeling of it. But I cant feel it anymore. Is it all psychological? I just cannot see what should have instigated a down turn in my mood. It is business as usual.
 
Gonna try to get my hands on some palladone (hydromorphone) later today. Curious to see how that'll go. :D

For now: 2mg alprazolam and 70mg methadone from yesterday that's still working.

Good morning everyone.
^I can imagine it now. Made me smile.

OT: 70mg methadone early this morning, then 3x80mg oxy over the course of the day. Can't wait until I can pick up zeh hydromorph. (Noon tomorrow).

I would avoid the done until u slam the morph...also oxy as much as possible...something about being almost sick makes the extras hydro brings to the table beyond an opiate high come out more.

For example...when I slammed morph daily...I would only get that special rush on the first one of the day. U know that feeling when someone massages your shoulders or neck and you get goosebumps...it's like that but all through the body and only lasts about 40 seconds after injection

oT

Potted up on weed brownies
6oo mg lyrica
? beer
 
0,2 mg methamphetamine
A couple of joints
And i just added 1 mg alprazolam

Don't know if i'll refill and continue reading the next volume of Preacher or take one more Alprazolam, smoke one last fat joint, and go to bed. Decisions, decisions...
 
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