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Asexuality anyone?

B

belfort

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 2, 2005
Messages
2,291
Im mid 30s and it's been a strange road..A tally im not 100% asexual but close to it..I have a kink and all that but won't go into it as its not important..I can get turned on(it's pretty difficult) and have sex but it is underwhelming..yes im doing it right :). ..im pretty close to being asexual but I feel I've been robbed of a great joy in life..they consider it the height of the human experience! Yet for me, often I'd rather get a workout in ..I've been with. Some attractive women but there was no payoff and the women could tell..suffice to say many girls were hurt but I didn't know how to explain..sure, I save myself from drama and don't put energy, money and time into getting laid but it makes relationships very tough..hell, being this way I often have no motivation to even pursue women..

So, anyone else here asexual or borderline? Has it helped or hurt your life?
 
Yeah, I'm asexual in that I'm too scared to do Craigslist yet.

Lots of Zoloft helps too. And being broke. For someone who seems to feel he's being robbed of something, you seem pretty proud of screwing girls in a bored, dismissive manner. Maybe that's not how you meant it. I wonder though, is it the sex that's dull or the relationships?

Folks who claim asexuality kind of fascinate me. Who am I to say, anti-depressants do make a difference, and a little meth can send it overdrive the other way. Anyway, I can't really relate, but wanted to help bump the thread up. Maybe you can share your asexual kink in return? Or not, maybe get in before the gay accusations come in?
 
so... you don't like the ladies?
have you... you know.


(would also like to add that i'm not being a dick - but if one ways not working for you, maybe try the other before giving up entirely?)
 
I would be interested in hearing a much deeper version of your story. Please do include any and all thoughts that DO arouse you.
 
keeping said:
so... you don't like the ladies?
have you... you know.


(would also like to add that i'm not being a dick - but if one ways not working for you, maybe try the other before giving up entirely?)
Click to expand...

Im definitely not gay..not that there is anything wrong with it but I have no attraction to men..

I am rarely sexually attracted to women..I can find them very hot but not in a sexual way..again, im not100% asexual so this muddies the waters
 
Scrofula said:
Yeah, I'm asexual in that I'm too scared to do Craigslist yet.

Lots of Zoloft helps too. And being broke. For someone who seems to feel he's being robbed of something, you seem pretty proud of screwing girls in a bored, dismissive manner. Maybe that's not how you meant it. I wonder though, is it the sex that's dull or the relationships?

Folks who claim asexuality kind of fascinate me. Who am I to say, anti-depressants do make a difference, and a little meth can send it overdrive the other way. Anyway, I can't really relate, but wanted to help bump the thread up. Maybe you can share your asexual kink in return? Or not, maybe get in before the gay accusations come in?
Click to expand...

Anti depressants do deaden my already low sexual hunger..im not proud at all of having sex with women because it was just meh..it confuses women big time! One girl lived a few houses down from me and kept invitingme over latest night but I had cool TV showsto watch lol..it's interesting going to the bar talking to women all thewhilethey think im trying to get into their pants when in actuality,idont care about that at all..

It is interesting in that certain drugs have given me sexual hunger..it makes me wonder if it's a neuro transmitter issue?stimulants like ephedrine used to make me horny..Ghb worked great here as well..Selegeline/pea also made me feel motivated to seek women out not for sex butfor getting kinky ;). Hard to explain really

Not gay but being this way led to some very confusing years in high school and after..the term asexuality I had never heard of so I felt broken or defective ..it's only now im realizing the benefits of bring this way but I've also missed out on some great time sso fuck! Lol I think I'd rather be a normal sexual guy
 
I think he was attempting to show sarcasm? He must have a macro for that, usually what I see is a guy with a ponytail electrocuting either an old man with a cane or a guy pee-ing.

I think it's fascinating because there's a movement of English-speaking folks who claim asexuality, but I suspect that like you, they just aren't constantly in the urge.

To me, an asexual has no sexual attractions. He wouldn't get it up with a woman or a man, or an intersexed person. Likewise animals. It would always be as sexy as a doctor's visit, and they'd never have muliple relationships, good or bad.

Otherwise, it's just normal not-in-the-mood-ness, which at least with the women in my life, is like 99% of the time, right?
 
I've wondered if it's possible that I'm asexual. I just am not nearly as interested in sex as other people. But I've been taking opiates for the vast majority of my sexual maturity.

In the past year I've cum in my sleep more than from sex or masturbation. I have sex with men for drug money and it really doesn't bother me at all. Like I don't actively try not to think about it. At the same time I don't ever really think about sex with the better looking girls I've gotten at.

Do you take any medications? I suspect I would have a much higher sex drive if I wasn't on methadone but I don't think it would compare to average still...

I know what you're saying that there isn't motivation for sex. And it's not like a "it's too much work I'm not going to bother" kind of thing. It just doesn't seem to enter my mind except as a tool to get drugs and maintain a certain level of intimacy if I was in a relationship.
 
I've always wondered if prostitutes get too jaded for sex. Or disgusted by it, or something. I mean, the stereotype is the hooker or stripper hooking up with another girl, men getting gross really fast.

Although, after all the bad "sex" maybe some good sex would be really awesome? I don't know, no one would pay to have sex with me, and I'm free.

But I feel like I lost interest fifteen years ago, just gaining weight and being disgusted by it, suddenly didn't think naked time was fun anymore. Or, I blew everything out when I was thirteen, I really don't know, there'd been an SSRI earlier, but not then and the next ten years. Either way, it turned into an actual relationship problem, only initiating after a few drinks. But other than that, combined with an SSRI, I don't miss it right now. I miss the IDEA more than the act; and the partner most of all.
 
I've had sex with probably a few dozen men as a prostitute and probably a dozen females for fun. Jaded is definitely more accurate than disgusted. You realize how astoundingly fake sex can be. I mean these guys are paying me yet get into it as though I were their boyfriend. Makes sex I've had with some past girlfriends seem potentially artificial.

I know what you're talking about. I stopped having sex for fun with any regularity a couple years ago once I was done with college. Definitely miss the idea and miss a person to give that kind of trust to. Without sex there doesn't seem like a big difference between a friend and a girlfriend, that's been been my main reason to ever pursue it in past relationships.

I'd probably rather just go to sleep with a naked girl than have sex with a naked girl right now and it has created at least an apprehension to seek out an intimate partner.

I feel like you are predicting the next 15 years of my life...
 
Somehow I think you'll have better luck.

One thing I did learn, should you decide to pursue it, is that, even with the sex, women really do not appreciate the "best friend" comparison. I mean it's obviously not romantic, but ideally a partner could look past that kind of thing after so many years. And see it from our perspective: fucking your best friend sounds like the ideal relationship.

(For the record, it's not like I ever spoke that phrase out loud; I probably just didn't disagree vehemently when she brought it up.)
(I'm also leaving out lots and lots of questions, for sake of not thread-jacking)
 
I always find it interesting that people have issue excepting we are all different. So people with high sex drives cant figure it out and attribute it to a lack of experience, a different taste in attraction or a corrupt self view it seems. I operate on a much lower social drive then most and am definitely no asexual. I dont form many interpersonal bonds because that is not who I am and my disinterest and lack of social need puts me at a disadvantage getting females in a sense. This doesnt bother me because to me sex isnt something that i use to measure any aspect of my life short of how often i am having sex.

Its funny because so many people believe sex is more then just an act with another person and use it as a gauge of quality of life... but i dont judge those who have a lot as having a strange need for validation through another person. It is completely possible to be human and not desire or seek it. The best way to put it is the lack of physical contact with the opposite sex only bothers me when it bothers me, which isnt too often or id change it.

I think my outlook is largely positive as I spend way more time advancing my own personal interests, getting a large amount of self validation though my work and intrinsic motivation due to having to be a self starter. The one thing I dont understand is why people think they need relationships, i think someday i will find someone because i am not asexual i just dont really care when why or how.
 
It's probably my meiosis days making me think "asexual" means "no sex whatsoever" and you just get bigger then split into halves, or in times of stress, go around sprinkling self-fertilized spores everywhere and watching them come up as clones.

I guess "non-sexual" is used already. What about solo/mono/autosexual? Because y'all can't tell me you never jerk off ever. Yeah, maybe not like junior high anymore, but it still happens.

Junior High/HS are why we measure it like we do these days: only the virile ones were the True Men among boys, and the race to be deflowered still inspires awful movies.
 
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