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Getting things in line for the end.

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Hey I know that this might hurt some people... and I hope you beautiful souls don't get hurt by anymore of my words...

But if you bring children into the world? Watch out. They're stronger than you. And are a whole new generation. A generation that is powerful.

So if you are pregnant? Want an abortion... think about it. Think about what you could potentially bring into the world.
And maybe "god forbidden" abortion isn't wrong.

Look at this thread. Closely.
I am the result child of Shauna, who really was not healthy enough to have me.
Now I have a child of my own who is WAY, WAY beyond my power...

I did check up on that David guy, he's a very smart man who didn't mean to steal images of me. He has no idea, still. But it's okay, no big deal.

His "looper" movie(I think that was the name of it)references. Cool. Because children can destroy more than we know.





Man I hope I typed that accurately... not sure
 
gmlifer said:
Have you considered a psychiatrist?
Click to expand...

I've had a thorough "psychologist" through out my WHOLE LIFE. Try again.

I did just talk to my father and got into a huge fight about politics. He was speechless.

I believe everyone needs to look up red and blue, and who this "beautiful" country backs were built from slavery.

REPUBLICANS. And no I don't identify either color. Period.

"DEMOCRAT" a fools word and sense of entitlement to destroy DEMOCRACY which our founding fathers gave us.

The fury I feel right now after listening to my dad speak and be speechless...

Then someone asking if I've had a "psychologist".


Did you even read this fucking thread?
 
I sent you a message yesterday, I hope you didn't take offense. I am telling you that I have had these same exact erratic behaviors. I have been through and still struggle with what you are going through. Mania: You have loads of energy, cant sleep, cant sit the quiet makes your head feel like its gonna explode because your thoughts are too much to handle, start drinking to make it better (self medicate) engage in high risk behaviors my vice was sex with random strangers and while doing this I had absolutely no regard for anybody including myself. My episodes would last a few days. Depression: Then the crash down I felt horrible, disgusting, humiliated for my behaviors that I had absolutely no control over. I didn't want to get out of bed, leave the house and very soon after was looking for ways to commit suicide. A few days after I start to feel better. My bipolar is rapid cycles so, I suffered through this vicious cycle for years. Is there a dual diagnosis facility that you can go to? If you go to just rehab that will only fix half the problem. That happened to me. Setting yourself up to fail. Same with the psych wards only 1/2 the problem. Can you have your dad or sister advocate for you? Have them talk to the drs. If my husband hadnt of done that for me, I would have lied and manipulated my way out. You are not in the right frame of mind to make rational decisions for yourself. I have 2 daughters and a husband that I have hurt. I have hurt them so deeply that the guilt often nearly kills me. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your daughters so young you have her whole life to live for. This may sound crazy, and maybe it is. I made a promise to myself. My younger daughter is 7. I got the vivatrol shot and am getting back on my bipolar meds. I will be sober and medicated till she graduates high school and moves out. In my head it is easier to process, right now I live for them. Once they are on their own I will be able to do what makes me happy. Think about it... give your daughter 9-10 years of a healthy sober mother. After that your life is yours. Take care of yourself please, if not for you do it for your daughter.
 
Any drug any "psychiatrist" has given me... a mere counsel to a real problem.

Hope the two differences matter. That is important.

I DONT WANT DRUGS. No the pills they give are... deadlier than alcohol. Definitely.
 
Jmr828 said:
I sent you a message yesterday, I hope you didn't take offense. I am telling you that I have had these same exact erratic behaviors. I have been through and still struggle with what you are going through. Mania: You have loads of energy, cant sleep, cant sit the quiet makes your head feel like its gonna explode because your thoughts are too much to handle, start drinking to make it better (self medicate) engage in high risk behaviors my vice was sex with random strangers and while doing this I had absolutely no regard for anybody including myself. My episodes would last a few days. Depression: Then the crash down I felt horrible, disgusting, humiliated for my behaviors that I had absolutely no control over. I didn't want to get out of bed, leave the house and very soon after was looking for ways to commit suicide. A few days after I start to feel better. My bipolar is rapid cycles so, I suffered through this vicious cycle for years. Is there a dual diagnosis facility that you can go to? If you go to just rehab that will only fix half the problem. That happened to me. Setting yourself up to fail. Same with the psych wards only 1/2 the problem. Can you have your dad or sister advocate for you? Have them talk to the drs. If my husband hadnt of done that for me, I would have lied and manipulated my way out. You are not in the right frame of mind to make rational decisions for yourself. I have 2 daughters and a husband that I have hurt. I have hurt them so deeply that the guilt often nearly kills me. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your daughters so young you have her whole life to live for. This may sound crazy, and maybe it is. I made a promise to myself. My younger daughter is 7. I got the vivatrol shot and am getting back on my bipolar meds. I will be sober and medicated till she graduates high school and moves out. In my head it is easier to process, right now I live for them. Once they are on their own I will be able to do what makes me happy. Think about it... give your daughter 9-10 years of a healthy sober mother. After that your life is yours. Take care of yourself please, if not for you do it for your daughter.
Click to expand...


Do not text or message or whatever until you read and see IVE BEEN IN REHAB TWICE AND HAD A MEDICAL LICENSE
 
Jmr828 said:
I sent you a message yesterday, I hope you didn't take offense. I am telling you that I have had these same exact erratic behaviors. I have been through and still struggle with what you are going through. Mania: You have loads of energy, cant sleep, cant sit the quiet makes your head feel like its gonna explode because your thoughts are too much to handle, start drinking to make it better (self medicate) engage in high risk behaviors my vice was sex with random strangers and while doing this I had absolutely no regard for anybody including myself. My episodes would last a few days. Depression: Then the crash down I felt horrible, disgusting, humiliated for my behaviors that I had absolutely no control over. I didn't want to get out of bed, leave the house and very soon after was looking for ways to commit suicide. A few days after I start to feel better. My bipolar is rapid cycles so, I suffered through this vicious cycle for years. Is there a dual diagnosis facility that you can go to? If you go to just rehab that will only fix half the problem. That happened to me. Setting yourself up to fail. Same with the psych wards only 1/2 the problem. Can you have your dad or sister advocate for you? Have them talk to the drs. If my husband hadnt of done that for me, I would have lied and manipulated my way out. You are not in the right frame of mind to make rational decisions for yourself. I have 2 daughters and a husband that I have hurt. I have hurt them so deeply that the guilt often nearly kills me. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your daughters so young you have her whole life to live for. This may sound crazy, and maybe it is. I made a promise to myself. My younger daughter is 7. I got the vivatrol shot and am getting back on my bipolar meds. I will be sober and medicated till she graduates high school and moves out. In my head it is easier to process, right now I live for them. Once they are on their own I will be able to do what makes me happy. Think about it... give your daughter 9-10 years of a healthy sober mother. After that your life is yours. Take care of yourself please, if not for you do it for your daughter.
Click to expand...

K your daughter is 7. I'm barely able to read but don't think you're crazy.

Try getting sober like I did. OFF everything. I mean it all.

You still want to die? I hear that. Completely. But do it right. Not like me.
I'm just hideous and barely alive because I DONT KNOW
 
I also have a medical license, granted mine is just LPN. That really isn't relevant. I have been in rehab a total of 4 times and in mental wards about 5 maybe 6 times. I HATE the medication. I hate it with a passion. I end up stopping every single time.
 
Right now, I do not want to die. 2 weeks ago, I swallowed down 1/2 my bottle of perscription sleeping pills. So its very erratic. Its also avoidable.
 
Excellent job. It will literally make you crazy dear. And they want that.

It's MONEY HONEY. The big ol' batch they want.
 
I have NO idea why I won't die other than the train, a gun or jumping.
Other than my DAUGHTER.
 
I am trying to help. I feel your agony and pain. It hurts. I have done so much research into meds. I found a combo that seems like it may work. If my dr wont perscribe them to me, i am pretty sure i will not go on the same shit ones that they have been giving me. Also taking the right steps to stay sober.
 
Hey if your 17 year old is already developing signs...

There's no answer. Stand back and pray
 
My older daughter is nothing like me, thank God. She has so much strength and courage. I am so proud of what she has become. I feel sad too because I wasn't a big part of getting her where she is.
 
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