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Clean from Heroin for One Year

FordRiverFailed

FordRiverFailed

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 19, 2010
Messages
251
Location
In the middle of the tunnel, I think I see a light
Hello everyone, I took a break from bluelight while going though withdrawals. I just wanted to share a success story and how I got to where I am. I was addicted to Oxymorphone primarily but as things progressed Heroin was cheaper. I eventually got arrested and was forced to be locked in my room like a scene from Trainspotting. This was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. Once the physical withdrawals were over, after getting kicked out of a Suboxone program due to arrest, I had to just kick it.

I was fortunate enough to have a support group of friends and family to get me thought he worst of it and even get me to a fantastic psychiatrist and psychologist to help with the PAWS. I took Trazadone at 300mg during withdrawal for sleep as it knocks me flat out, gabapentin for RLS and Clonazepam for anxiety. All prescribed by a doctor and initially monitored by trusted people until I was able to trust myself. Now, I simply take Clonazepam for anxiety, as I was before my addiction, and occasionally taking Trazadone if I cannot sleep.

I feel like my story is different from others I've heard about, which is why I took a bluelight break. I didn't really feel cravings. I changed my phone number to prevent temptation but still after the physical sickness was over I felt like I was finally free. I'm sure this is not the case for everyone. My addiction in total probably only totaled six years so I may have dodged a bullet by not using as long as others. I suppose my point in writing this is simply to give hope. Look though my history, you will find a miserable person that looked for help for years. I can tell you today that I feel better than I ever have, I can still have a beer or a joint without going crazy and I have my family and friends back. It really is worth it and I didn't see that before. My plan may not work for everyone, or even anyone else but me, as individuals have different experiences. My only point is that in the end it is worth it, you will feel happy again in ways you never could on opiates.

Thanks to all who talked me off the edge in the past,
FRF
 
Thanks for sharing this. I'm in a similar situation to what you were. Been addicted to heroin for years. I've lost all my money, all my possessions, none of my family talk to me except my brother. I've been arrested and am one wrong move left from going to jail. Only thing I haven't lost is my boyfriend and apartment. But I likely will lose both very soon.

I can't imagine getting clean, but I want too. Withdrawal is so painful. I don't know how anyone does it. People seem to get the impression I'm strong. Apparently I'm not strong enough to tolerate being sick. Thanks for sharing. I really need hope right now. Unfounded though it may be.
 
FRF, it is so good to hear from you--and to hear how well you are doing. Indeed you are very lucky to have supportive friends and family and it sounds like supportive, educated medical care as well. Still, with all the help in the world it comes back to you and what you really want for yourself. I'm glad you popped in to give some inspiration and I hope you can continue to do that from time to time. <3
 
I haven't shot heroin in about 3 years but I have cut all my contacts from that world. I think that I have close to no risk of relapse...But, I had a dream last night where I was at a party and heroin was being passed around and I felt like when the heroin got to me I was going to do it...I woke up before it made it to me. But it made me realize that I may be vulnerable to relapse in the right/wrong situation.

I guess my point is that it's easier to avoid than resist temptation...for me at least.

You saying you changed your phone number reminded me of this...congrats on your success btw, keep it going.
 
JessFR said:
Thanks for sharing this. I'm in a similar situation to what you were. Been addicted to heroin for years. I've lost all my money, all my possessions, none of my family talk to me except my brother. I've been arrested and am one wrong move left from going to jail. Only thing I haven't lost is my boyfriend and apartment. But I likely will lose both very soon.

I can't imagine getting clean, but I want too. Withdrawal is so painful. I don't know how anyone does it. People seem to get the impression I'm strong. Apparently I'm not strong enough to tolerate being sick. Thanks for sharing. I really need hope right now. Unfounded though it may be.
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I was arrested too and plagued by the constant battle between the pain of being sick and the pain of disappointing others. There's no easy answer here other than you absolutely CAN get clean. It is 100% possible for anyone to do it. I'm not at all saying it's easy, in fact it is hard, but there are wonderful people here who have helped me for years and sometimes talking about it is the best thing.

Best wishes,
FRF
 
herbavore said:
FRF, it is so good to hear from you--and to hear how well you are doing. Indeed you are very lucky to have supportive friends and family and it sounds like supportive, educated medical care as well. Still, with all the help in the world it comes back to you and what you really want for yourself. I'm glad you popped in to give some inspiration and I hope you can continue to do that from time to time.

Thank you very much as your words have been inspirational to me during tough times. I will pop in more and more. I'm finishing up my degree and then I should have more free time.

Love and best wishes,
FRF
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