My depression and anxiety transformed into an opiate addiction

[SoBright]

Hey there, world!

I guess, for starters, I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Also, this is my first post here.

I am currently in the process of kicking my oxy habit, which began about a year-and-a-half ago. I've been using every day, however, since last March, so just under one year.

I've been trying to quit since last Thursday and have used every third day. Basically, I'll go two days without using, and by the third day- I go out and grab. I'm just so annoyed with myself. Why can't I just stop!?!

The physical WDs have been minimal. Although that has been the case, the mental aspect of WD is what is making this hard. I'm clinically depressed and also have General Anxiety Disorder (which is, obviously, the root of my addiction).

I'm just wondering if anyone has been where I am now, and what type of support you can offer.

Thanks in advance, y'all!

Peace.

 

[NewJerseyChill]

Hey there, world!

I guess, for starters, I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Also, this is my first post here.

I am currently in the process of kicking my oxy habit, which began about a year-and-a-half ago. I've been using every day, however, since last March, so just under one year.

I've been trying to quit since last Thursday and have used every third day. Basically, I'll go two days without using, and by the third day- I go out and grab. I'm just so annoyed with myself. Why can't I just stop!?!

The physical WDs have been minimal. Although that has been the case, the mental aspect of WD is what is making this hard. I'm clinically depressed and also have General Anxiety Disorder (which is, obviously, the root of my addiction).

I'm just wondering if anyone has been where I am now, and what type of support you can offer.

Thanks in advance, y'all!

Peace.

Hi. i can identify with your situation. when i was trying to kick heroin at some period i would always use by the 3rd day because of the anxiety, stomach aches, and ofc the cravings. Everyone's experience with opiate addiction is different, pharmaceuticals are a little different as well. I mean i eventually said fuck it and used nearly everyday, kept getting high until i lost my job and had to go to rehab. Stayed clean for some time, then got high again. Ultimately its up to you.
i was told blue's are tougher to kick than H.

I feel like a part of you wants to stop but the other part likes the temporary comfort opiates provide. When i was in your position their wasn't anything anyone could tell me, but everyone is different. I would say "yea i can stop, watch." i would stop for a few days then say "oh i just feel like doing it, so im going to do it. i can stop whenever i want to." needless to say i was delusional as fuck.

How much shit can you put up with is one way to put addiction.... It's strange because you would think i would have PTSD or atleast burning images/emotions of what I put myself through. Well its the reason why many people die from the drug. but i still think about using even with substantial clean time.
When the opiates hi-jack your brain, you have to hi-jack it back. you have to be clever and beat yourself if you dont want become a AA/NA cult member. you have to educate, brain wash, and make changes. otherwise you go back.

or

"you can just stop"

 

[johnnypotsmoker198]

Hey there, world!

I guess, for starters, I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Also, this is my first post here.

I am currently in the process of kicking my oxy habit, which began about a year-and-a-half ago. I've been using every day, however, since last March, so just under one year.

I've been trying to quit since last Thursday and have used every third day. Basically, I'll go two days without using, and by the third day- I go out and grab. I'm just so annoyed with myself. Why can't I just stop!?!

The physical WDs have been minimal. Although that has been the case, the mental aspect of WD is what is making this hard. I'm clinically depressed and also have General Anxiety Disorder (which is, obviously, the root of my addiction).

I'm just wondering if anyone has been where I am now, and what type of support you can offer.

Thanks in advance, y'all!

Peace.

Have you considered speaking with a psychiatrist?

If you have anxiety issues and struggling with addition to opiates, benzos can help assist with both. Since your physical withdraw symptoms are low, you should be able to detox with minimal discomfort.

For me, benzo's helped with both the mental aspect along with physical dependency for minor addiction/withdraw.

 

[SoBright]

Hey thanks for your input!

I'm just so lost right now about it all. My situation is super messed up, too.

My sister is a long-time heroin addict. My oxy usage didn't even BEGIN until she was alternating between jail and rehab about a year ago. I honestly knew the consequences and still played with fire. It became temporary relief from everything around me. It began at work (I wait tables so work like 10-12 hour shifts), then progressed to school, then inbetween, then every day.

Honestly, I know of PLENTY more people whose habits were worse than mine. The most I've ever done in one day was four 30s (120mg). Most commonly, I was going three a day, and never a whole one at a time.

Like I said, I can't escape my mind. The physical WD has been bearable.

I'm just lost.

Thanks.

 

[SoBright]

Have you considered speaking with a psychiatrist?

If you have anxiety issues and struggling with addition to opiates, benzos can help assist with both. Since your physical withdraw symptoms are low, you should be able to detox with minimal discomfort.

For me, benzo's helped with both the mental aspect along with physical dependency for minor addiction/withdraw.

I actually was seeing a psychiatrist while I was in school, but never discussed my drug problem. I was on Zoloft for abou six months, but ended my treatment in July. Also, I have access to benzos 24/7, yet they tend to make me more depressed, but definitely help me sleep.

 

[johnnypotsmoker198]

I actually was seeing a psychiatrist while I was in school, but never discussed my drug problem. I was on Zoloft for abou six months, but ended my treatment in July. Also, I have access to benzos 24/7, yet they tend to make me more depressed, but definitely help me sleep.

Anti-depressants never worked for me and typically had a mind altering effect where I just never feel right. Ride it out if you can, you only have a few more days.

I had an issue previously where i was extremely depressed and would use opiates to help "make me right". The self medicating trap is easy to fall into, but I hope you are getting off the oxy's as this will only make depression much worse in the long run. For me, the feeling of entrapment is worse than just riding it out at this point in my life.

Try to stay busy and keep your mind active. I hope it all works out for the best and I would focus on removing the opiates out of my life.

Good Luck to you.

 

[SoBright]

Thanks, Johnny. I had a slip up and used all weekend. 75mg of oxy on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I plan to start this whole process over again this week.

Any advice on how to kick the habit would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again!

 

[herbavore]

It is epidemic to feel lost in this culture--especially as a young person. But just because the whole culture itself is lost does not mean that you as an individual have to swallow the same Kool-aid! Life's meaning is elusive because every single one of us has to create our own. It can feel daunting if you approach it that way but it can also turn out to be pretty exhilarating if you adopt it as a quest or adventure. Look for experiences that excite and fulfill you and then try to create a life that has room for those experiences. Some people find meaning in human relationships, others in solitary adventure--whatever you do, get yourself clear of drug dependence because that will only keep you distracted enough to miss the whole thing. As a 63 year old I can tell you that time speeds up exponentially. Use your time well in this body and this life because it goes fast!