Juanmoretime
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2013
- Messages
- 23
Whenever I get a bag it's because I'm withdrawing and all I want is to feel better, but as soon as I feel better after my first hit it's like I forget how bad I just felt and my focus immediately goes to getting high again. It makes it really really hard to manage my usage. I end up using my bag really fast and then I go into withdrawl again just for the cycle to continue. Obviously I lack the self control, but that just goes to show how powerful these types of drugs are. The depressing part is that it doesn't even feel THAT good anymore, I smoke and smoke and smoke hoping for this glorious high that never comes. I'm just thankful that my habit isn't to the point where I need an entire bag just to feel normal. Even as I write this I'm having trouble not touching my bag, I have to constantly distract myself from using.
It almost makes me want to cry when I take that first hit after feeling sick because it feels so good but at the same time I know I'm completely reliant on this drug. I can sense that the honeymoon period is ending and I'm on the brink of a downward spiral into addiction. I'm lucky that nobody in my family has found out and I know if I keep going down this road that they will find out eventually. I know it's in my best interest to just quit and cold turkey it, I just know that once I get clean for a while I will forget about the withdrawls and go right back into using. I finally understand this drug and how it can easily spiral out of control. Anyone else having trouble with this? I guess I just needed to vent and it's nice to hear about other people's struggles when you're struggling yourself..
It almost makes me want to cry when I take that first hit after feeling sick because it feels so good but at the same time I know I'm completely reliant on this drug. I can sense that the honeymoon period is ending and I'm on the brink of a downward spiral into addiction. I'm lucky that nobody in my family has found out and I know if I keep going down this road that they will find out eventually. I know it's in my best interest to just quit and cold turkey it, I just know that once I get clean for a while I will forget about the withdrawls and go right back into using. I finally understand this drug and how it can easily spiral out of control. Anyone else having trouble with this? I guess I just needed to vent and it's nice to hear about other people's struggles when you're struggling yourself..
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