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Your last relationship: How long did it last? Did it end well? Badly?

Last relationshiop was over 2 years ago.

I guess it was more of a summer romance that lasted 2-3 months with a foreign girl I met travelling. Ended well, we knew it was just some fun. She now has a family.
 
Bearlove said:
My last ltr lasted about 10 years - ended v badly.
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Sorry to hear that. It seriously makes me wonder why people have such a hard time working these out like adults. Things don't have to end on bad blood. The girl I was with was so adamant on putting me down and making me feel bad. Had she not done that I wouldn't have walked away from her. And yet she wonders why I walked away. Fucking bitch.
 
I think it's down to hurting tbh - if it was a mutual feeling that both parties reached then it would be far simply to say, it was fun when it lasted but it's over.
I'm in a LTR again and have been for 14 or 15 years now and far happier than I was or had been for many years.

It can hurt when you split up for reasons like yours - did you guys talk about it first? Had you told her about this or had you just bottled it up until you exploded? I had given my ex a few warnings, I had explained the problems and what would happen if things didn't change. We had a mortgage and had recently bought a new house so it was very messy to say the least.

They messed about with my credit cards, nearly made me lose my job, reported several close friends to their managers for drug use so cost me a few friendships and it just went on and on for years. Almost 20kUS in legal fees :! - just a stupid situation.
 
Bearlove said:
I think it's down to hurting tbh - if it was a mutual feeling that both parties reached then it would be far simply to say, it was fun when it lasted but it's over.
I'm in a LTR again and have been for 14 or 15 years now and far happier than I was or had been for many years.

It can hurt when you split up for reasons like yours - did you guys talk about it first? Had you told her about this or had you just bottled it up until you exploded? I had given my ex a few warnings, I had explained the problems and what would happen if things didn't change. We had a mortgage and had recently bought a new house so it was very messy to say the least.

They messed about with my credit cards, nearly made me lose my job, reported several close friends to their managers for drug use so cost me a few friendships and it just went on and on for years. Almost 20kUS in legal fees :! - just a stupid situation.
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She basically bottled everything up until she couldn't hold it in anymore and just exploded...not once did I ever yell at her or call her names in our relationship. I actually just recently made a topic about what happened if you're interested...

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/812247-I-can-t-seem-to-stop-being-angry-at-my-ex-girlfriend

Some people say it was my fault, but I feel like it was hers especially since she had an ex that was a best friend...I did hide some messages from her so I guess anyone would look at that as shady, but if she really thought I was two timing her, it just doesn't make sense to me why she would insist we remain friends, especially after all the offensive comments she made to me. Screw that bitch. By the way if you end up reading it, you're welcome to tell me I was wrong if that's what you feel.
 
My last one was 6 years and it ended on a good note. We met while we were clean discovered opiates together got onto methadone got clean and decided to explore the world single. I will admit it was largely her idea but she had become so reliant on me that the only way to become individuals was to dissolve the relationship.

She is still my best friend and we confide in each other more so then anyone else. The way i see it we spent the better part of 5 years together every day, went through way more then a couple should only to end up on the other side. Shes something between family and combat buddy where we are connected because of blood but also because of the things we saw while we spent time in a hellish unforgiving place.

It would have been somewhat foolish to stay together because although we are friends still we are completely different from who we use to be... I actually got her a job where i work because due to a large gap in employment she was unable to find work. Doesnt bother me I have zero desire to return to my past in any respect.
 
szuko000 said:
My last one was 6 years and it ended on a good note. We met while we were clean discovered opiates together got onto methadone got clean and decided to explore the world single. I will admit it was largely her idea but she had become so reliant on me that the only way to become individuals was to dissolve the relationship.

She is still my best friend and we confide in each other more so then anyone else. The way i see it we spent the better part of 5 years together every day, went through way more then a couple should only to end up on the other side. Shes something between family and combat buddy where we are connected because of blood but also because of the things we saw while we spent time in a hellish unforgiving place.

It would have been somewhat foolish to stay together because although we are friends still we are completely different from who we use to be... I actually got her a job where i work because due to a large gap in employment she was unable to find work. Doesnt bother me I have zero desire to return to my past in any respect.
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That's awesome. I really don't understand how people don't think that exes can't be good friends or even close friends in some situations. Just hopefully when you get into another relationship the next person you are with can see this and understand where you're coming from.

Honestly, though, if you call her your 'best friend' perhaps you guys still have a chance in the future? Kinda sounds like it could be a possibility...
 
My last relationship lasted 4yrs. On and off on and off. Raised a little boy together. He is 2.5yrs old. Product of a rape. He was taken away last fall cuz my gf fucked up. He is on foster care. My ex wont let me see him. She sees him once a week for a cpl hours. She told me if I left her I would never see him again. ... I stuck around too long. It was a terrible relationship. Emotionally abusive. I left for my sake. It Breaks my heart. He was my reason.

Maybe someday I will see that sweet angel again. ...right?
 
My last relationship was my marriage which ended in the summer of 1998, we were together for 4 years. I guess it ended fine in that it wasn't a bitter divorce and we weren't at each other throats at any time during it, however it emotionally destroyed me.
 
ZayKayWill said:
Honestly, though, if you call her your 'best friend' perhaps you guys still have a chance in the future? Kinda sounds like it could be a possibility...
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No never, I have zero desire to be with her and she is the same way with me. We make way better brother and sister then lovers. That is why the relationship ended, at first i thought maybe in the future but now no i am completely over the whole thing. Plus the added benefits of trusting someone 100% that is not related to me by blood or anything i always joke that when i somehow get a lot of money no one knows about ill use her to hide it because i wouldnt trust anyone else.

I am really good at not wanting to return to my past or even really caring its there. We both feel that this is the future and we are not compatible anymore. I dont feel any sexual attraction to her, i think shes beautiful but in the way a man admires a painting or gemstone... things can be beautiful without a sexual connotation.
 
My last and only real relationship is with the creator of the universe. Its looking like it will last forever. I married a girl who feels the same.
 
szuko000 said:
No never, I have zero desire to be with her and she is the same way with me. We make way better brother and sister then lovers. That is why the relationship ended, at first i thought maybe in the future but now no i am completely over the whole thing. Plus the added benefits of trusting someone 100% that is not related to me by blood or anything i always joke that when i somehow get a lot of money no one knows about ill use her to hide it because i wouldnt trust anyone else.

I am really good at not wanting to return to my past or even really caring its there. We both feel that this is the future and we are not compatible anymore. I dont feel any sexual attraction to her, i think shes beautiful but in the way a man admires a painting or gemstone... things can be beautiful without a sexual connotation.
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I see. I really do hope that when you get into another relationship that your next lover can understand and respect that. Because not many people can sadly. :/
 
If they cant understand it then they are no friend of mine. I do not trust more then 2 people in this world that are not family and she represents half of that list. I do not plan on getting into a relationship as it does not fit into my plan for the next 3-5 years and if i meet someone i will not trust her as much as i trust my ex for a long time.

In a sense no one person is worth more then the only 2 people i trust in the world. If they have a problem with it i will toss them into the past i dont return to like so many other aspects of my life. The real issue is people have a tendency to project their lives on others so they "cant understand" is because they have never experienced it and thus dont understand how it could work.

I am not worried I love my self far too much to be in a committed relationship with anyone, seriously at this point a relationship would only hold me back. Some day maybe but the things i do not want are a wife and kids, seems like a good way to not be in control of your own life lol (no offense to anyone that wants or has both)
 
szuko000 said:
If they cant understand it then they are no friend of mine. I do not trust more then 2 people in this world that are not family and she represents half of that list. I do not plan on getting into a relationship as it does not fit into my plan for the next 3-5 years and if i meet someone i will not trust her as much as i trust my ex for a long time.

In a sense no one person is worth more then the only 2 people i trust in the world. If they have a problem with it i will toss them into the past i dont return to like so many other aspects of my life. The real issue is people have a tendency to project their lives on others so they "cant understand" is because they have never experienced it and thus dont understand how it could work.

I am not worried I love my self far too much to be in a committed relationship with anyone, seriously at this point a relationship would only hold me back. Some day maybe but the things i do not want are a wife and kids, seems like a good way to not be in control of your own life lol (no offense to anyone that wants or has both)
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I agree 100%. So many people don't have the experience of still being close friends with past lovers that they think anyone who is just wants to keep them around just in case they can get back with them or get a few sex sessions in. And who knows? Maybe they will get back together. No one can predict the future. Any person who is a friend, not just an ex, has the potential of becoming a future partner. All is fair in love and war. My girlfriend has every right to leave me if that's what she really wants and if that's what ends up happening. Relationships aren't prisons. Yes some compromise is needed I guess but there's a difference between compromise and just giving in to calm ones own insecurities. I will never be one to tell my partner that they can't be friends with their exes. Because honestly you never know if your relationship is gonna work out. No matter how strongly you guys try to work it out, there will always be that one chance that it very well may not. You just never know. And at that point I will have lost both my good friend AND my lover...then at that point who knows if that friend will even want to be friends anymore after that... A lot of people do give into temptation so I would wanna maybe get to know my partner a bit first or maybe just have us all hang out one time so I can observe the dynamic...I have some trust issues myself but like I said some exes are really just good friends and I would hate to be the kind of person that tells them, "We can't be together if you guys are still friends." I don't blame people for having that attitude, though, since like you said so many people don't have the experience to even understand how it works. I used to think those kind of people were simply immature but I like to look at it as more indifference. So maybe when you get into a new relationship focus on just the relationship for now and keep some distance from the ex for a little while but once you lay some groundwork and trust all should be fine.

Man that felt good to write out. Thank for that! :D
 
2 years. Ended very badly, with her spending a weekend in county and 2 years probation with mandatory psychiatric help. I've been in a loving relationship for 5 years now :)
 
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