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I said something during sex that might make him back off

CoastTwoCoast

CoastTwoCoast

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2016
Messages
5,759
Location
Dancing on the corpses' ashes
This guy is incredible to me. He goes out of his way to provide for me and the love he gives is unlike any other. We've been dating a good amount of time and have the best sex ever!!!! Another planet type of sex. I kid you not. He is like my soulmate. I never thought I could find someone like this.

So while I was riding his cock. I said "I love you" multiple times. It just came out! His reaction was like "I have strong feelings for you too." I can tell he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings. I felt like dying when he had to take me home. This could make him back off, but I do not apologize for my feelings. I will NOT go out of my way texting him or anything after that. He has to text me first. Usually he'll text me to let me know he made it back home after he drops me off, but he didn't do that last night.
Maybe I scared the shit out of him, but I really do love him. So...nothing to do about it. I'll see if he runs away like a punk ass bitch. I will not go out of my way to text him. That's for sure. Oh well.

Please give your opinions: Men, would this freak you out?
Women: Have you done this in the heat of the moment?

Edit: I need to tell you where my state of mind is. Yes, I feel scared that maybe I pushed him away, but at the same time, I KNOW I am a phenomenal woman. I have a lot to offer mentally, physically, spiritually. He will probably text again, but he is lucky to have ME. Now I am not trying to sound conceited, but I know I have what it takes. If he does back off for good because of this, it is HIS LOSS!!! I'm not afraid of losing guys anymore because in the bigger picture, there is much more to life. I don't want to lose him because I adore him, but if loving him makes him afraid, he is not the one for me anyway.
 
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Hm.. I do think it's natural to blurt out "I love you" during sex. You seem fairly confident. Why not bring it up to him? Just address it in a mature way.
 
It felt right at the moment...and my voice was sexy. You had to be there. Haha He did end up texting me today so I guess he wasn't scurred. We both feel this connection. This isn't a one-sided thing.
 
It is just hard for some people to say they love someone even if they kinda might.

I have trouble saying those words because to me love is something that takes time.

Strong feelings is no joke either. If I tell someone I care about them deeply to me it would be I meant it was headed in the right direction.

So maybe it is just hard for some people to use the word love. To me love is something you build over time. I love some of my friends and family. I have loved a few women but currently I do not love any women I have been with for quite some time. I could have but things did not work out.

I wanted to and one woman would often use the word and I felt like she didn't mean it. So one day I straight up asked her what that even means to her. She was fucking pissed. We were not sleeping together at the time but had spent some time together and were talking about getting back together. We of course had slept together in the past and had a decent relationship but she never really seemed to love me despite saying it often.

I might only tell someone I love them once, it is a very hard thing for me to say or admit even if that is how I feel. If a woman I really fancied said it to me, I still wouldn't say it back unless I meant it because I just am not going to make false promises to that degree.

I have heard some pretty weird shit during sex and honestly I really never was bothered by it except this one time. This woman had just told me about being raped by her father as a child and when we slept together she said something along the lines of "Daddy keep fucking me hard and harder, rape me, fucking rape me daddy" and I gotta be honest that was a bit much given the context of her confiding that in me and crying about it and then using a good amount of drugs to stop crying and then maybe 3 hours later to say that in the bedroom.


Other than that I have really never given much thought to any weird shit I have heard in the sack and other than being called daddy a few times no woman has ever called me someone else's name but that would kind of piss me off. I don't say much during sex other than stuff that is sexual like "I am going to cum" or "bustin a nutt all up in your guts" or "where do you want me to cum", "just the tip", or "ok so move like this so I can do it like this, ok now lets go from the buck to full lotus"

The woman who called me daddy after giving me the rape sob story also told me we were meant for one another after spending a weekend at the beach together, it was fate, and she had been looking at my facebook and even my bluelight posts for years. Things did not end well with her and she still reads my posts and texts me but she did something rather unforgivable and kinda crazy. She just has some issues and when she doesn't take her medication she is bonkers but when she actually takes her medication she is a sweetheart but I can't risk it because she has gone off her medication several times over the time I have known her and it has happened way to many times and she is far to reckless for me. So I can't deal with someone who has problems they could choose to treat but don't.

That being said the amount of personal info she had on me before I met her, she obviously found a way to meet me irl after just falling in love with a bl or fb profile and thought she knew me. That shit is creepy, so is the fact that I do not know here screen name. Of course I know her real name and where she lives. I did date her for a short while and then would see her and we would have sex but we were both kinda in relationship we were going to leave. In all fairness both our partners were cheating so I was just waiting to evict my gf whether or not I got with someone else, I had not decided. After we both were single and met up she pulled some crazy shit in the middle of the night and it was just unforgivable.
 
A recent gf told me she loved me during sex. That didn't bother me. A few minutes later during the same sex, she said she wanted to bear my children, that bothered me. It bothered me a lot, and I stopped talking to her. I cut her off completely. We had already had the No Kids No Dogs conversation (they both annoy me), and I had already told her I had a vasectomy.
 
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socko said:
A recent gf told me she loved me during sex. That didn't bother me. A few minutes later during the same sex, she said she wanted to bear my children, that bothered me. It bothered me a lot, and I stopped talking to her. I cut her off completely. We had already had the No Kids No Dogs conversation (they both annoy me), and I had already told her I had a vasectomy.
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Oh wow! The kids conversation would scare me to death! We couldn't agree more on that! The "love" moaning while riding his cock was the first time it happened. I won't do it again though. Usually, I keep it light and say passionate/dirty things. I'm gifted in that area. lol

Yeah, but when people start talking babies, I head for zee hills!
 
dopemaster said:
It is just hard for some people to say they love someone even if they kinda might.

I have trouble saying those words because to me love is something that takes time.

Strong feelings is no joke either. If I tell someone I care about them deeply to me it would be I meant it was headed in the right direction.

So maybe it is just hard for some people to use the word love. To me love is something you build over time. I love some of my friends and family. I have loved a few women but currently I do not love any women I have been with for quite some time. I could have but things did not work out.

I wanted to and one woman would often use the word and I felt like she didn't mean it. So one day I straight up asked her what that even means to her. She was fucking pissed. We were not sleeping together at the time but had spent some time together and were talking about getting back together. We of course had slept together in the past and had a decent relationship but she never really seemed to love me despite saying it often.

I might only tell someone I love them once, it is a very hard thing for me to say or admit even if that is how I feel. If a woman I really fancied said it to me, I still wouldn't say it back unless I meant it because I just am not going to make false promises to that degree.

I have heard some pretty weird shit during sex and honestly I really never was bothered by it except this one time. This woman had just told me about being raped by her father as a child and when we slept together she said something along the lines of "Daddy keep fucking me hard and harder, rape me, fucking rape me daddy" and I gotta be honest that was a bit much given the context of her confiding that in me and crying about it and then using a good amount of drugs to stop crying and then maybe 3 hours later to say that in the bedroom.


Other than that I have really never given much thought to any weird shit I have heard in the sack and other than being called daddy a few times no woman has ever called me someone else's name but that would kind of piss me off. I don't say much during sex other than stuff that is sexual like "I am going to cum" or "bustin a nutt all up in your guts" or "where do you want me to cum", "just the tip", or "ok so move like this so I can do it like this, ok now lets go from the buck to full lotus"

The woman who called me daddy after giving me the rape sob story also told me we were meant for one another after spending a weekend at the beach together, it was fate, and she had been looking at my facebook and even my bluelight posts for years. Things did not end well with her and she still reads my posts and texts me but she did something rather unforgivable and kinda crazy. She just has some issues and when she doesn't take her medication she is bonkers but when she actually takes her medication she is a sweetheart but I can't risk it because she has gone off her medication several times over the time I have known her and it has happened way to many times and she is far to reckless for me. So I can't deal with someone who has problems they could choose to treat but don't.

That being said the amount of personal info she had on me before I met her, she obviously found a way to meet me irl after just falling in love with a bl or fb profile and thought she knew me. That shit is creepy, so is the fact that I do not know here screen name. Of course I know her real name and where she lives. I did date her for a short while and then would see her and we would have sex but we were both kinda in relationship we were going to leave. In all fairness both our partners were cheating so I was just waiting to evict my gf whether or not I got with someone else, I had not decided. After we both were single and met up she pulled some crazy shit in the middle of the night and it was just unforgivable.
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You're much better off without that type of person in your life! I feel bad because she obviously needs major help. That's only something she can do for herself though. I've said "Daddy" in bed with this guy recently. It suits him. He's kinky and into a bit of bondage. I can tell it turns him on.

Thank you for pointing out that "I love you" isn't something that comes naturally for certain people. I know he feels strongly for me so I will trust in that. I will look for love in the way he treats me. Honestly, the way he treats me clearly says "I love you" more than anything else. Maybe he will say it one day, but this is not something I will obsess on. I freaked out at first because I thought I blew it. Turns out I didn't.
 
its not bad, if anything it will force him to examine his feelings towards you

give it time nothing wrong with loving someone- you feel how u feel
 
pofacedhoe said:
its not bad, if anything it will force him to examine his feelings towards you

give it time nothing wrong with loving someone- you feel how u feel
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It's actually forcing me to examine my feelings too. I see signs of making someone my world and that's why I'm going to put space between us and focus on myself again. It will be better the next time I see him when I feel mentally healthy and like I'm not clinging. I'll wait and let him ask to spend time with me again.
 
I actually blurted out I love you to a guy I only knew for a week DRUNK. Lmao...

We talked about it later and I was like, OF COURSE I DON'T LOVE YOU-- I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
:shrug:

But maybe there was something about that guy or relationship that you do love. All in all, love is love and there's nothing wrong with that! It doesn't need to be love=crazy marriage and babies.
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
I actually blurted out I love you to a guy I only knew for a week DRUNK. Lmao...

We talked about it later and I was like, OF COURSE I DON'T LOVE YOU-- I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
:shrug:

But maybe there was something about that guy or relationship that you do love. All in all, love is love and there's nothing wrong with that! It doesn't need to be love=crazy marriage and babies.
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HAHA! That's the best! Being drunk makes you love every one sometimes. Actually, I did have some wine before having sex with him and I'm pretty sure that made the "I love you" come out big time!

I do feel love for him though. He's a great person. It's hard to find. I'm just glad he didn't run away. We still talk and will see each other in the future I'm sure.

Thanks to all of you for not making me feel bad. :)
 
Depends on what you think love is. I think its a fundamental facet of the universe. So really, what did you mean when you said it?
 
Its unfortunate that the 3 words you said have that effect but its in your best interest to clear the air.

Blokes are weird sometimes. They might think you want to lock them in a cage after hearing that but it could have just been blurted out from good sex!

Whats wrong with loving and being loved anyway?

I suggest you get him over and talk in person. Its hard but youve fucked and been naked and had each others genitals in each others mouths right? Talking should be no issue. If he declines or makes things awful for you it says more about him than you and maybe you deserve better .

Theres no reason to feel bad. Just figure out whats going on between you. It has to happen sometime.
 
Ya, you just need to be able to fall back on the universal love angle. It's a convenient defense.

A lover of mine sort-of did this a couple weeks ago. She asked me to tell her when I was ten seconds before climax and said like "there's nothing hotter than knowing someone you lo...deeply respect and appreciate...is about to cum." I could tell she felt very awkward after it happened, but it did not freak me out at all. In fact, it is a compliment that a partner is so wrapped up in the moment that speech cannot possibly be prepared or rehearsed in the mind.
 
zephyr said:
Its unfortunate that the 3 words you said have that effect but its in your best interest to clear the air.

Blokes are weird sometimes. They might think you want to lock them in a cage after hearing that but it could have just been blurted out from good sex!

Whats wrong with loving and being loved anyway?

I suggest you get him over and talk in person. Its hard but youve fucked and been naked and had each others genitals in each others mouths right? Talking should be no issue. If he declines or makes things awful for you it says more about him than you and maybe you deserve better .

Theres no reason to feel bad. Just figure out whats going on between you. It has to happen sometime.
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He was texting me after this happened and came up with some excuse. I told him to take his time, but now I see he used that excuse as a way out when I didn't hear from him for days.

I don't regret what happened because it ended up showing his true colors. I won't be dating for a long time. Most guys are full of shit.

Oh and he said "You deserve to be treated better than what I am capable of providing." That's a red flag for another huge excuse. If some other girl entered the picture, I bet he'd have no problem manning up.
 
Why did he have to be the BEST SEX EVER!!! Motherfucker.

I can't trust ANYTHING guys say! We had an immediate connection when we met. We held hands on our first date in the theater, he always opened car doors, always a gentleman. When we kissed it was like the stars aligned. When we finally had sex, it was even better.

I texted him tonight because I wasn't ready to give up and needed to know what he really thought. I mentioned how he said there was a connection. He said "There was or at least I thought there was." WHAT. THE. FUCK. Done with that cunt. I said "Haha Funny how that changed. Bye."

This is why I don't trust guys.
 
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he sounds shallow, incapable of love and a waste of your time

the beautiful ones- they hurt you every time. (prince)

amazing sex is way more common than you think. u just need to meet someone like me more often (though am gay)
 
Sorry to dig up something from your original post but...you referred to him as a "punk ass bitch" in the same story where you supposedly "love him" and he is your "soul mate". Is it possible you set this one up from the beginning? Sorry, just...there is some incongruity there.
 
nah he should be cool so long as you don't dwell on it; if you get weird on him he'll back off but just like it was casual sex talk... he'll understand that and probably assumes that's what it was. yall can examine your emotions when your libidos aren't calling the shots
 
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