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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Dear ADHD, I'm going to FINISH LIFE :)

Yeah the 100mg of valium is like mike.vick said - a nice rest.

I've had decent jobs over the years such as the one I hold now, but it's only cos I'm articulate, well spoken and full of shit. I know how to bullshit where necessary but I would love to quiet down my internal chatter/chaos and be able to focus. Meth always worked for me in low doses, probably why I took to amphetamines so lovingly.......I know meth used to take away serious pain due to the euphoria alone. I'm in that much fucking pain today I want to die. I need a walking stick today and someone else to do everything I need to do. We don't really have personel fire arms here otherwise that's what my family and neighbours would be hearing this morning.
 
Man, this isn't OD material. We're not a suicide hotline. I feel for you bro, but don't you think all of us want to end it at some point or another?

Moving this to TDS, please read the OD posting standards. Sorry to be a dick, but I'm in a bad head space myself.
 
mike.vick said:
DUDE, meth via oral or rectal.. or ANY route is complete dogshit.
For memory and energy and cognitive improvement take the supplement called " Acetyl-l-carnitine + ALA" amd "Piracetam". The first available on amazon or vitamane shoppe, the second on supplement websites.

These work wonders
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I think using meth is a really bad idea considering the fact you have come so far getting off tramadol. I'm glad you've gotten help so congratulations are in order! Did you tell the doctor that you don't want to take the antidepressants anymore? They may have you try something else. Or you may not need them at all. I think the underlying issue is you feel the need to use something recreationally.

Self medicating is what got you in that dark hole in the first place. You don't want to go back there and taking steps backward. Try supplements like mike mentioned and be kind to your body. I can't give you a timeframe but it could take a long while to recover. Wish you the best. <3
 
100mg D!azepam was for chilling out and keeping mellow and euphoric before getting unconscious from CO emission (dying with euphoria)

The piece of universe (cuntry) I live at has only a few drugs available for depression and ADHD inside its pharmacopeia.
The only FDA approved drugs for ADHD in my place's pharmacopeia are Ritalin and Atomoxetine.
Adderall and Desoxyn (clinical meth pill) are non-existent (no production/import)

My doc has concluded that I'm not an ADD/ADHD adult, and actually I'm suffering from major depression, and it is the underlying source of my lack of attention and motivation.
I must research more and discuss with more docs about this conclusion.

He might be right, because euphoria-less ADHD drugs (like atomoxetine, ginseng, clonidine, and other attention enhancers without dopaminergic action and euphoria) do NOT work for me (no improvement at school)
The reason is that besides the "attention" problem, I'm also having a "motivation" problem (always tired and fatigued), which resolves when if I get euphoria.
And unless the drug is helping me at both, no improvement is seen.
 
024liakam said:
Lmfao, not the best time to be laughing but it was too funny, I had to let you know I laughed like shit
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The first option was meant as a joke, but I often reflected about suicide myself (chronic pain that changes in severity) and I seriously mean it when I say, that if I prematurely end my life, I will at least make sure, that my death will have a purpose like helping an endangered species reproducing, #nosodom.

@ OP

If you search the forum, you will find options of mild substances, that can aid you in self medicating. But it is also important, that you know, why you are self medicating at all. If you have no physical issues, I would totally advice you to pursue the sober path and try as many techniques for meditation as possible (and also read about the origins) until you've found the right one for you.
 
Will miss Tram - please go easy on yourself - you're going through a lot right now and need to give your body and mid time to recover and equalize. You said you're a Med student - some of this you should know I would think. If you use mind altering substances for any length of time there is a low point when you stop while your body adjusts. Please don't make any hasty decisions as your feeling are temporary and this will get better. Also, please don't use meth to help you're ADD - that's going to make you feel worse and could lead to a horrible addiction and permenant mood disorders. I do hope you feel better soon! Good luck!
 
Will miss Tram :( said:
THIS THREAT IS ABOUT SUICIDE, I WILL CHECK THIS FREQUENTLY FOR A WEEK FOR ANY POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS, AND THEN HAPPILY HEAD TO THE OTHER SIDE :)

First of all let me tell you that I'm suffering from ADD, and lack any hyperactivity, and very lazy (always tired with severe fatigue)

Profile:

  • Male
  • 27 years old
  • 80kg
  • medical student
  • officially diagnosed with ADD by multiple psychiatry professionals

Prescribed drugs in order:
  1. Ritalin, which didn't work
  2. Atomoxetine, which didn't either

SELF-prescribed drugs in order:
  1. Tramadol, which did wonders, both in focus and motivation/energy. (stopped it due to addiction and severe weight loss)
  2. Bupropion, which gives me even more focus, but makes me VERY aggressive [at 150mg SR] (I kicked a bunch of running cars' side mirrors when riding my bike, because of their goofy driving; and punched a taxi driver when he stopped at green light to pickup a passenger; while I am naturally a calm and forgiving person who dislikes fights)

Now that's it, And I've come to the conclusion that life isn't worth living anymore;
I'm doing this because there's not any other drug under the sun which allows me to pursue my education.

I decide to escape from this prison which we call life, once and forever;I'm sure MANY people wish to do the same, but they don't have the courage to do it.

I will do it while taking 100mg of diazepam, put my earphones and listen to Mozart, and sit inside a sealed bathroom where a charcoal burner is emitting CO, writing "Join me if you dare" on the wall.

THIS THREAT IS ABOUT SUICIDE, I WILL CHECK THIS FREQUENTLY FOR A WEEK FOR ANY POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS, AND THEN HAPPILY HEAD TO THE OTHER SIDE :)
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Im sorry you are going through this but you need to man the fuck up. You are a fucking Med student, I am sure in a good school. What has happened to the youth today? I'm sorry Everyone should do 2 years in the military just like in Israel. Get to a Dr and deal with your situation.
 
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