Hey there everyone. I am a girl from South Africa (are there any south africans reading this?) I LOVE weed and hallucinogens. I am addicted to heroin and crack and I'm currently in a psychiatric hospital for drug induced spychosis and schitzophrenea, I decided to join the blue light out of boredom of being locked inside. I am also very lonely. Because of my drug abuse I cannot do the things I love (smoking weed, writing and rapping) I feel so lost and helpless at the moment, can anyone relate? Its not fun being stuck in an institution, it feels like I have been abducted by aliens and I just have to do what they tell me to do and I cannot do the things I want to do. I come from a small coal mining town that has more dealers than there are normal people and everyone is on something. I never expected to end up in the situation I am in and I am hoping that I will find happiness without having to use drugs but they give me inspiration for when I am writing. I don't want to be stuck in this institution either but I am.
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NMI Moderators: M!$TER-ED
My friends told me how high I would get but they never told me how low I would get.
- Thread starter Jaylin69
- Start date
Hello, well, me personally have been where you at several times. I know exactly how you feel. What you have to do is decide which one are you going to do at this moment for the moment. Sorry to say, you can't do drugs on a daily basis and lead a normal life. What you can do is get to where you want to be in life, and if you decide to buy a 50rock you can, know your limits and stick to your word. Don't ever let it rule you. Get Your mind back, and remain truthful to yourself. You are not court ordered there are you? Well, if not, look ahead to your Release date, have plans and goals set. Make positive things happen. If that's what you want to do. If not figure out how not to loose your mind again. Figure out what caused you to be there and what to do not to end back up there again. Plenty of people live with mental illnesses, do drugs from time to time, and still function in society. Figure out which one you want to be.Drugs took over my life, I got so far up and felt like I was on top of the world but I lost my job because of them and I didn't have any interest in looking for another job because my boyfriend would pay for me and give me the drugs I want. Now I am stuck in this institution because I ran away from him and came home and tried to kill myself so my family brought me here. They are going to keep a close eye on me and I have to focus on getting better and finding myself... I can never leave drugs ill leave rock and h but not the psychadellics.Hillbloodhound
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2016
- Messages
- 3
Use this time to find yourself and set goals. If you think you are lonely now, make different choices or you will know nothing other than being lonely. Additionally, choose your friends wisely.
Am_I_Dead_Yet
Greenlighter
I've been in the mental hospital many times it's absolutely awful. They put you on drugs that make you feel weird but not in a good way and you get stir crazy and your mind really gets to you. It's cool that you can get online the places here(Philadelphia,PA) don't let us use shit I would either read,talk to people, or play cards. You're real interesting and I have no friends here because I'm new to can we be friends?
P.S I'm so sorry if I broke any of the BL rulesbim so scared to post anything because of themrainyday107
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 14, 2015
- Messages
- 266
Welcome, I'm sorry it's such a difficult time. Do they have you on an antipsychotic for psychosis and schizophrenia? That may swiftly improve your mental clarity. Many AP's have very few side effects. They aren't all weight gainers that leave you sedated. Talk to your doc if you are not liking the med.
Do you have anyone to visit you? Ask them to bring a coloring book and crayons. It's a soothing way to pass time and you may not have concentration to read yet.
You have my friendship/support-message me anytime. xo Rainy
I am on drugs for depression and bipolar and they have a lot of side effects and I crave getting high because I miss that euphoric feeling.
I will be honoured if you become my first friend.
Thanks a mil, I have read 2 books already and have a relaxation coloring book plus my family visit me every day and I play chess with the other crazies. Thinking a lot about changing my path and your post shows me that there is hoperainyday107
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 14, 2015
- Messages
- 266
There is hope! I have bipolar 1 with occasional psychotic episodes (not drug-induced) and anxiety disorders. I'm a recovered alcoholic and getting off it helped my mood state ALOT, but I still suffer from mental illness, there is no cure, just management. I'm disabled.
Did i expect life to turn out this way? Heck no. However, I have come to terms with it through therapy. And I have realized slide is not the answer.
Im so glad you're on the upswing. Thanks for updating. You'lll continue to stabilize.
Dont beat yourself for using substances- comorbid is common with us. However, that is great you are considering changing things. You will reap the rewards.
Not trying to hijack your thread...I just wanted to support you and I "get it." Keep us posted! You've got this. xo
