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Say something you can't say to their face

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ABetterWay said:
Guess what, you abusive asshole? Though while undiagnosed, my Ehlers Danlos DESTROYED all health til I couldnt be financially independent anymore, last year, *I* figured out what I had....then found out, as confirmation, at least 2 relatives have it. (generic). So, since knowing the cause, the WHY, I've been improving my health. So I can work ft again. You might think it's so we can habe a better life, but even when I killed myself working six days aweek plus doing everything ehaw, until I landed in the emergency room twice close toi death, I'm doing it to get the FUCK.AWAY FROM YOU. Who will you blame when I'm not here? Obvious answer should bee yourself, but that alcohol sure has a way of convincing you it's everyone else. Have a GREAT LIFE, and after all those beatings, SEVERE BEATINGS AND INJURIES THAT I STILL HAVE, AND ESPECIALLY WITH EDS, I dint owe you jack shit. Soi dint cry to me when you finally drunk yourself into health hell that you did to yourself, after a past of horrendously abusing me and mocking my health even though I never give up sbd actually figured it out myself and an improving now. Fuck you buddy. Oh, and you suck in bed.
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Ha, motherfucker! One week now, despite you trying ti sabotage me....even giving me some today that I turned down. Nice try, but I ain't sticking around. Ass.
 
I wish you could see how amazing you are, I wish you could see what I see in you.
You will do so well, your amazing have faith in your ability.
It breaks my heart you talk about being dead or not caring to live. I want you to sleep, I wish I was there to help, somehow.... Anyhow....

I go to sleep worrying, I wake up worrying wondering if you've taken too many pills to try and get some sleep :(

It scares me so much what I may come home to on Friday.

Please don't give up! Please! You will get through this, stop taking the tablets they don't work now your tolerance has built up. You've stuck by me for 4 and a half years, I'm not giving up on you.

I know I tell you a lot, but I really do mean it, I love you, your my world. I work away for us but I know you don't see that :( xxx
 
bomber said:
^ And why can't you tell this? She would be happy to hear it.
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I didn't realise you knew her on such a personal level to know what she likes to hear or how she is feeling and why.

Somethings I say some I can't, for reasons I wouldn't expect you to know.
 
Oy. That got cringey.....

Anyway..

My God I hope you find your strength and your sanity my lifelong friend and more. What an unusual and odd and beautiful and scary and almost telepathically understood thing we have always had.

We lost touch for years. Got back in touch. Turns out we had been on the others minds and even in dreams.

I understand why you do any you do.

I understand that I can not save you.



Please have yourself. Lean on me. I have enough encouragement and strength to share with you my dear lifelong companion, whom I have played with from childhood, whom was probably the person I bonded with most because we have something the same inside of us.

I don't bond easily and am a notorious introvert.

I miss you.

With tears in my eyes..... my God...... how I wish we could go back to playing together as kids.

Before all of our personal hell's.

When things were not so terrifying. To endure, to witness, to know you have no control over.

There is so much I cannot put into words.....but I think and hope you already know.

Even your dark side..... I have always understood that too. You know that.

I miss you.

I love!you.

Please don't make me look back after years of being out of touch only to think,"at least we talked again before he died".

Please.

Universe Please..... watch over, protect, and guide him.

He is needed.

Anyone who could just say a fast prayer or a wish for his sanity, safety, and well being..... I would appreciate it enormously.

This person..... is one of my favorite people who I bonded deeply with during formative years. I don't have many ties to my awful past. He is one bright spot.

He is too gifted for his own good and I think drives himself insane....

Thank you for letting me get this out. I needed to. Xo
 
You're the worst person I've ever gotten to know (making an allowance for any actual serial killers I might have been unwittingly acquainted with). You took 8 years of my life, and you threw them away like they meant nothing. There was so much gaslighting, you psychologically and emotionally abused me til I didn't even know myself anymore. You broke me down to a state of complete compliance and mocked me with hostility for being so needy, like it wasn't all your doing. I literally had a mental and physical breakdown, at which point you upped and ran off with my 'best friend', leaving me thousands and thousands in debt with no way to pay it (thank goodness for parents willing to help out children in their 30s who fucked up bad). I kept the apartment I own and the cats but I lost my sanity, my health, my job, my friends, my financial freedom. I lost everything because of you.

But the part I hate the most is...I'm always going to carry this anger inside me. Like black bile, like a tumour. You made me hate myself in ways that I don't know I can ever recover from.
 
I've only known you for a short while but I think you need to continue seeking therapy. You see yourself as a victim, think the world is out to get you, and project these beliefs onto me and everyone else in your life. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt and see past some of the negative qualities you showed me because I could tell you were hurting on the inside, but it's come to a point where I have to let go for my own health and sanity. I don't know if it was unclear to me before, or if I just wanted to believe you were different than the harmful, critical, pessimistic things you said, but I think you showed your true colors the last time we saw each other, and frankly I'm disgusted. I don't need someone in my life who is going to bring me down, and as much as I'd like to be there to help and support you, I can't allow you to spread your negativity to me anymore. Goodbye and good luck.
 
When I look at everything that you did, and everything that I did, OBJECTIVELY...it makes me facepalm, and wonder whether you really lost your sense of reality or not. I understand the purpose; you hold absolutely no accountability for everything you've done, which can be verified by real people who are concerned about you. That must be how you have lived your entire life.

It doesn't make any sense; at first, you decided to anoint blame falsely upon me. But all along, it was more than that. It was simply hate. You don't accept the truth, even though it would set you free and break out of the circle. Look at what happened objectively; continuous slandering, obsessive to the point of insanity and simply no regard for all of the suffering you have wrought upon everyone, not to mention no acknowledgement of it to save your reputation. Whether I'm out or behind closed doors, I am the same. Idc what people think because I've stayed true to my beliefs and how I choose to live my life. All you do is deny and say no when you're out, and admit it when no one is around but you and your gf.

Who else here is experiencing what I have? I have only ever seen one example in the mod thread. This seems to be the second example. But for me? You are just another one after a long line of them. At the same time, that is one of the sources of my strength; experience. My friend, can you believe that no one believed me about my past? I am sure she would find that blasphemous, with both of us seeing it and experiencing it when it happened. Do you know what it feels like to go through something terrible, suffer and change from it, and have no one believe you because of how implausible it all was? You don't. That is why you misjudged me and misunderstood me. There is already proof right here everyday for the past year, of how you have continued the tradition that I am so sick and tired of. Enough is enough. To condemn my reaction is to have no understanding of how any person would feel in a similar position. Find yourself and your purpose in life, because it isn't this dark pleasure that will lead you to where you want to go. What I see is a troubled kid who doesn't see what he has, and doesn't take advantage of his strengths.

Edit: Do you know what really baffles me? You moved out on your own. I understand that it's not ideal for you, but no one can take that away from you. Do you know how happy I would be to have that? I would not give two shits if it was a hole in the wall, at least as a start. You seriously do not understand what you have. That is actually my complete focus everyday because, as it should be to you, it's the bigger picture that matters most.
 
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Kl519 said:
When I look at everything that you did, and everything that I did, OBJECTIVELY...it makes me facepalm, and wonder whether you really lost your sense of reality or not. I understand the purpose; you hold absolutely no accountability for everything you've done, which can be verified by real people who are concerned about you. That must be how you have lived your entire life.

It doesn't make any sense; at first, you decided to anoint blame falsely upon me. But all along, it was more than that. It was simply hate. You don't accept the truth, even though it would set you free and break out of the circle. Look at what happened objectively; continuous slandering, obsessive to the point of insanity and simply no regard for all of the suffering you have wrought upon everyone, not to mention no acknowledgement of it to save your reputation. Whether I'm out or behind closed doors, I am the same. Idc what people think because I've stayed true to my beliefs and how I choose to live my life. All you do is deny and say no when you're out, and admit it when no one is around but you and your gf.
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From my life experience most people are like that at one point or another. It takes a lot of courage and self esteem to be what you are and admit your failures. IMO/E you get stronger with plain honesty. I have no issues in admitting when I'm wrong but it's a shitty feeling when that is not reciprocal.
 
Erikmen said:
From my life experience most people are like that at one point or another. It takes a lot of courage and self esteem to be what you are and admit your failures. IMO/E you get stronger with plain honesty. I have no issues in admitting when I'm wrong but it's a shitty feeling when that is not reciprocal.
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Certainly. I've been on the other side, and I had once been the one needing to be reprimanded and punished until I learned why it's so important. It prevents self destruction. I had my life invaded and was told exactly everything that was wrong with me, from sibling fights to drug use. I had to face it all. But as I looked back at it, all of that helped me to change my behavior and become someone that can wake up everyday with a clear conscience and true optimism. It's one of the hardest things to do in life, imo. What was most
important to me was that I realized what I am here to do in life.

I still remember when I had my own demons and separated that from everyone else. I spent many years trudging through it alone. I don't have an answer as to how to get through it successfully, except to not give up.

Everyone has problems, even though with some it doesn't seem like it on the outside. But I found out that once you get to know them, they become more "human." I see this now everywhere I go. So this really is a shared journey, well, as long as we're in the same timeline. :)
 
I honestly wish you'd stop coming up to me at work and offering me molly. First of all, it's stupid, to announce that in your workplace; second of all, I've told you that I'm not interested in you countless of times. Even if I wanted the molly (which I don't and I have also said this a number of times) I'm not allowed to do it myself! You just HAVE to be with me. Leave me alone, and grow up and get a life. I have a job on the side to have extra money while I'm in school. This is apparently the only one you can get. Not my problem.
 
I can't say anything to your face, but I can say every- and any-thing to you, now, and I know you can hear me. Damn it, hon. I wish I had figured to do something in time. Maybe then... Sigh. Damn it. DAMN it, there aren't words. Feel me. Xoxoxo
 
I love you more and more as the years pass by, I lucked up landing the best girl to spend my life with.. But if you were a man omg I would have beat the shit out of you so many times, lol. But I was raised right and will never lay a hand on you that wasn't gentle. I love you baby. But stop intentionally pissing me off so you can get rough sex
 
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