swilow
Bluelight Crew
Spent a lovely few days at my coastal cabin with Miss Willow. Its basically in the middle of nowhere, pretty minial interior and not a lot of creature comforts but is so relaxing. Mainly the paucity of humans around. I have never been satisfied in cities, I need to be near the real world of trees and chaos.
Took some GHB and a few grams of weed with me. A touch of AMT to enhance the bondage sex
Spent a large portion of the holiday reading- I finished 'Death by Black Hole' by Neil deGrasse-Tyson- brilliant read, great writer, logical, reasonable, informative. I read 'This House is Haunted' by John Boyne; a nice, Victorian era ghost story without being too predictable. I also completed reading the short but fucking brilliant book "The Dragons of Eden" by Carl Sagan. Has anyone here read it? It is a fascinating look into evolutionary psychology. Why are we as we are as determined by our evolutionary progression. Highly recommend this novel.
In a normal world, to normal people, a normal answer would be like 'oh a salad, maybe a pie or something for dessert'.
We are not normal. :D
I took- well, it was so long ago to be frank, but I took some drugs I guess.
Not an entirely alien concept. Its that age where the blinkers of childhood have pretty much been immolated by the blazing sun of reality. You are becoming more self aware and experiencing the pressures that comes from being an adult but you still live under the auspices of the family. Perhaps you do need to look at trying to find somewhere else to stay. Do you have any other family? I had an aunt and uncle who were surrogate parents for me when my biological parents couldn't be bothered.
But, I feel you, 15 is a difficult age. I recall things that happened when I was that age; I had an incident that threw my whole family into the abyss when a few of my cousins and I started discussing odd/frightening experiences at the hands of our shared grandfather and it all spiralled into this epic tailspin of familial destruction, with silence being bought and paid for, with my father wanting to kill people including me and himself, my mother consumed by guilt (as ever). In the space of a year, all the cliches that bound our family turned to dust. I felt insanely responsible for this.
It really never recovered until my father died; he was a looming monolith of aggression in my life and after he passed, it was like the sun coming back out.
I guess I am sharing this to say I can relate to your confusion. The Recovery forums may be helpful to you, but I also think P&S may be moreso. We're essentially all friends here and sharing with friends is often easier and more rewarding than sharing with strangers. Please continue to share your experiences here; who knows, someone may have the answer or the answer may be in simply sharing.
Peace
Took some GHB and a few grams of weed with me. A touch of AMT to enhance the bondage sex
Spent a large portion of the holiday reading- I finished 'Death by Black Hole' by Neil deGrasse-Tyson- brilliant read, great writer, logical, reasonable, informative. I read 'This House is Haunted' by John Boyne; a nice, Victorian era ghost story without being too predictable. I also completed reading the short but fucking brilliant book "The Dragons of Eden" by Carl Sagan. Has anyone here read it? It is a fascinating look into evolutionary psychology. Why are we as we are as determined by our evolutionary progression. Highly recommend this novel.In a normal world, to normal people, a normal answer would be like 'oh a salad, maybe a pie or something for dessert'.
We are not normal. :D
I took- well, it was so long ago to be frank, but I took some drugs I guess.
Nix said:
Not an entirely alien concept. Its that age where the blinkers of childhood have pretty much been immolated by the blazing sun of reality. You are becoming more self aware and experiencing the pressures that comes from being an adult but you still live under the auspices of the family. Perhaps you do need to look at trying to find somewhere else to stay. Do you have any other family? I had an aunt and uncle who were surrogate parents for me when my biological parents couldn't be bothered.
But, I feel you, 15 is a difficult age. I recall things that happened when I was that age; I had an incident that threw my whole family into the abyss when a few of my cousins and I started discussing odd/frightening experiences at the hands of our shared grandfather and it all spiralled into this epic tailspin of familial destruction, with silence being bought and paid for, with my father wanting to kill people including me and himself, my mother consumed by guilt (as ever). In the space of a year, all the cliches that bound our family turned to dust. I felt insanely responsible for this.
It really never recovered until my father died; he was a looming monolith of aggression in my life and after he passed, it was like the sun coming back out.
I guess I am sharing this to say I can relate to your confusion. The Recovery forums may be helpful to you, but I also think P&S may be moreso. We're essentially all friends here and sharing with friends is often easier and more rewarding than sharing with strangers. Please continue to share your experiences here; who knows, someone may have the answer or the answer may be in simply sharing.
Peace
