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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 4)

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I see the brain damage debate is still raging for LTC sufferers. Does it matter? Nobody can say for sure the cause. Obviously something happened to the brain whether you want to call it brain damage or not. I could barely form a sentence for a couple of weeks and I've done MDMA like 4 times in my life. Of course, I never will again. Here are the facts: you will get better and it will take a long time. Also, treat the symptoms to help you get by, but don't go looking for a cure because one does not exist.

When I say treat the symptoms, I used Xanax for the free floating anxiety I experienced that lasted a few months (don't remember specifically how long it lasted now). And, if you choose to take an SSRI, some symptoms might even get worse for a couple of weeks, then I started to feel a little bit better every day. If you give up beforehand, you won't reap any of the benefits down the line. To be clear, for those two weeks, I was bed-ridden for the most part. That's how sick I was and another blue-lighter swore to me that two weeks was the time frame it took for things to get better so I kept going. I took Paxil for about a year and a half before I quit. No depression and absolutely zero return of any symptoms afterwards.

My LTC started 2.5 years ago. Life if perfectly "normal" these days! Best wishes and hang in there!
what were some of your physical symptoms? I don't have crushing anxiety anymore but I have racing mind, severe insomnia, eye floaters, face tingling, tight/pounding chest, shallow breathing, tinnitus How long did you take xanax for? The Remeron is helping me sleep a bit, but I've already had to double dose the last few nights.
 
Rhodiola is working fine on the anxiety and calmes me really down, without making me tired.
 
Yes, they have, and cortisol spikes 800% in some users -- and post use 3 month hair samples show that at some point during those 3 months, cortisol was up to 400% higher than controls.

I have still not seen any conclusive data regarding significant serotonin deficits persisting longer than a few days. TPH rebounds quickly, and is never 100% inhibited at doses human use. Serotonin synthesis actually never stops. (unless one is on a tryptophan deficient diet, and even then it only drops by 90% ) -- at normal rates of serotonin synthesis the entire storage of serotonin in the synaptic vesicles in the brain can be replaced in a few hours, actually minutes in some cases. - if you are really interested I can try and dig up the citation

No study actually shows any detrimental effects of the (possible) MDMA caused downregulation of SERT binding and 5HT expression in long term abstinent users. Memory deficit can be laid at the feet of cannabis and poly drug use, and there is simply no data identifying what the actual mean and SD of SERT binding IS in humans.

Furthermore, even with the proposed MDMA cause serotonergic deficits, the MDMA users were more well adjusted and less anxious/depressed than the controls.

The hypervigilant, pins and needles, insomniac, anxious, panicky, DP/DR symptoms are hallmarks of GABA/Glutamate imbalance.

That does not mean that the serotonin flood was not the genesis for the HPA dysregulation, as serotonin mediates GABA and glutamate release and metabolism.

If it is a serotonin deficit issue, then SSRI administration will resolve the symptoms; so that should be the first course of action. If SSRI administration does not resolve the symptoms, one can safely conclude it is either

1. Not serotonergic issues
or
2. not simply serotonergic, but also some other NT

My personal opinion is that the experience has caused the person to conflate the pleasure of a serotonin/dopamine/nor-epinephrine surge -- with the stress response. So every rise is seen as a fight/flight situation, resulting in HPA axis dysregulation and associated NT dysfunction. This conflation may be entirely biologically mechanistic - and not conscious at all.

Hey--lurker here.

I think I agree with your theories.

Cotcha is also mentioning meds like Clonidine but if I am not mistaken don't these things also *indirectly* affect the HPA axis by calming down the sympthetic dominance?

I found a really helpful article/site though on this kind of stuff and the biology behind it. https://selfhacked.com/2016/01/21/l...-sleep-issues-and-circadian-biology/#HPA_axis. This is an interview--scroll to 15/16 and you can see why these tests are so complicated. The guy mentions on how it is testable technically but how modern medicine doesn't have a direct "fix".

And then here: https://selfhacked.com/2015/02/14/reasons-cortisol-low-high/.

It just seems very complicated but I do believe it and that this is *not* just restricted to LTCs. But that major stressors can fuck up this system and then it becomes tough to recover as the symptoms themselves are further stressors.

And what do you mean by GABA/Glutamate? Aren't all the NTs involved with interacting with the HPA axis? And serotonin isn't necessarily "good" either--

https://selfhacked.com/2016/02/12/5...e-of-anxiety-fatigue-sleep-problems-and-cirs/

Certain serotonin receptors can be bad. And this other serotonin receptor 5HT-1A is involved with controlling cortisol https://selfhacked.com/2015/07/23/r...dent-gene-5-ht1a-receptor/#5HT1A_and_Hormones.

Its so difficult to assess cortisol anyways according to that researcher above that even if people have gotten those tests it would depend on what doctor you are seeing. Also, medicine is like 10+ years behind the research and this stuff is all relatively new.

I never understood why there would be doctors out there who say "anxiety" or "depression" but don't truly get to the exact root cause of these symptoms. But there isn't typically enough time to do so.

Another very interesting study by the way: http://ijnp.oxfordjournals.org/content/17/8/1119

They talk about how an earlier 2003 study addresses lower than normal cortisol response in those who were depressed but in their study which studied non depressed MDMA users the response was higher.
 
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Would I go into a panic if I took a claritin?


Have you before?

I don't know what your specific issues are. What meds do you take? Etc.

If you are fixated on the idea that your brain is functioning differently than normal because of MDMA use, and you have a boatload of symptoms -- and you believe you are now somehow hypersensitive to all kinds of stuff

you probably will.

If you don't probably not.
 
Have you before?I don't know what your specific issues are. What meds do you take? Etc.If you are fixated on the idea that your brain is functioning differently than normal because of MDMA use, and you have a boatload of symptoms -- and you believe you are now somehow hypersensitive to all kinds of stuffyou probably will.If you don't probably not.
Ok, I'm going to try it.
 
Thanks for the reply ! What is a 'nerve parasthesia'? Do you know how I could get rid of these ? Cheers
 
Is someone else having problems with their motorics or speaking. I feel like everything is going slower and when I'm walking slow I have problems going straight and feel like my legs are wobbling and I used to dance a lot before MDMA and now I feel really clumsy and have no motivation to dance anymore. Do this symptoms fade away too?

And is LTC standing for all the after effects of MDMA?
 
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Thanks for the reply ! What is a 'nerve parasthesia'? Do you know how I could get rid of these ? Cheers

Parasthesia is similar to pins and needles while your legs fall asleep on the toilet and that sort of thing - the main thing is that it's a peripheral nerve phenomenon and not something happening in the brain - we've looked for evidence of this being a brain phenomenon and haven't found anything. They've been reported to occur with movement of the head and I'm curious if you notice this?

But the main thing like I said is this is something happening outside of your brain itself. I don't know how to get rid of them exactly but you may try an SSRI, SNRI, and over the counter (not to be mixed with SSRIs) St. John's wort and 5HTP. I would probably try an escalating dose over a week of 50 to 100 to 150 to 200 mg to 300mg 5HTP and see if you notice any improvement. But I wouldn't combine any of the aforementioned substances.

Do you have musculoskeletal pain or otherwise neuropathy?
 
They used to be really bad but probably like 90% gone now just seem to get them when I'm tired, around sleeping and when I jolt my eyes to the right .... I tried 5 htp and seemed to help but stopped cos I was told not to use long term, I started again months later and caused them to flare up really bad so I stopped so not sure what to do next ? Feel like the healing process has really slowed down big time. Thanks for your help
 
I would probably just let things heal naturally - I would add in cardio and definitely mindfulness meditation if you're having cognitive symptoms. I hope you feel better soon.
 
what were some of your physical symptoms? I don't have crushing anxiety anymore but I have racing mind, severe insomnia, eye floaters, face tingling, tight/pounding chest, shallow breathing, tinnitus How long did you take xanax for? The Remeron is helping me sleep a bit, but I've already had to double dose the last few nights.

I had everything. Most of the symptoms you mentioned are anxiety related. Treat the anxiety! Not sure what Remeron is, but Xanax was by far the best medicine for me at the time. Also, the quicker you are able to detach from using blue light as a crutch, the better off you'll be.
 
Will be 3 years in this November. Things are still pretty bad. Nowhere near as bad as the first 6 months but still bad. Any miracle cures around since I last checked in on here?

Before MDMA I'd rate my state of mind 9/10. At my lowest was probably 1/10. Right now after nearly 3 years, I'd rate myself at 4/10. I'm nowhere near the person I used to be. Depressing just writing this.

Symptoms:

Constant depression
Anxiety - gets worse throughout the day
Light headed - hesitant to go out in evenings for fear of feeling faint / dizzy
Spend most days at home - luckily have a job that allows me to work from home most of the time otherwise I'd be unemployed
Weight gain

Things I've tried:

I tried SSRIs earlier this year but didn't make it past 5 days. Bad panic attacks and no sleep. A few guys saying 14 days before progress but I dunno if I can do that again.
Rhodiola was good for a month or two last year but has no effect anymore.
Try to exercise when I can. Not always easy with the light headed problems.
 
Will be 3 years in this November. Things are still pretty bad. Nowhere near as bad as the first 6 months but still bad. Any miracle cures around since I last checked in on here?Before MDMA I'd rate my state of mind 9/10. At my lowest was probably 1/10. Right now after nearly 3 years, I'd rate myself at 4/10. I'm nowhere near the person I used to be. Depressing just writing this.Symptoms: Constant depressionAnxiety - gets worse throughout the dayLight headed - hesitant to go out in evenings for fear of feeling faint / dizzySpend most days at home - luckily have a job that allows me to work from home most of the time otherwise I'd be unemployedWeight gainThings I've tried:I tried SSRIs earlier this year but didn't make it past 5 days. Bad panic attacks and no sleep. A few guys saying 14 days before progress but I dunno if I can do that again.Rhodiola was good for a month or two last year but has no effect anymore.Try to exercise when I can. Not always easy with the light headed problems.
Hey, I found a supplement called CoQ-10 that someone on here recommended and it seemed to improve my symptoms. Could just be a coincidence because I was three weeks in and maybe I was past the initial shiiete phase.
 
Will be 3 years in this November. Things are still pretty bad. Nowhere near as bad as the first 6 months but still bad. Any miracle cures around since I last checked in on here?

Before MDMA I'd rate my state of mind 9/10. At my lowest was probably 1/10. Right now after nearly 3 years, I'd rate myself at 4/10. I'm nowhere near the person I used to be. Depressing just writing this.

Symptoms:

Constant depression
Anxiety - gets worse throughout the day
Light headed - hesitant to go out in evenings for fear of feeling faint / dizzy
Spend most days at home - luckily have a job that allows me to work from home most of the time otherwise I'd be unemployed
Weight gain

Things I've tried:

I tried SSRIs earlier this year but didn't make it past 5 days. Bad panic attacks and no sleep. A few guys saying 14 days before progress but I dunno if I can do that again.
Rhodiola was good for a month or two last year but has no effect anymore.
Try to exercise when I can. Not always easy with the light headed problems.


HPA Axis dysregulation
 
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