i spend the majority of my 20s either full blown riding the drug high or in withdrawal..i also when i got sober i isolate from everyone in my late 20s and early 30s which was the worst thing i could have done..i look back and just cringe when i think of the time i wasted..the relationships i lost or never started due to my drug use..the life experiences i completely missed out on..i run into old friends i havent seen in years and i see them with families and lives and im like so far behind, plus i dont have much to say to them..sure, the easy thing is to just exercise or keep busy and not think about this stuff but im sure it haunts many addicts..what do you do to deal with this?just go to NA meetings and be thakful you are still alive?for me that just doesnt work..
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H&R Moderators: streaM Freak
Dealing with the Wasted Time...ugghh
- Thread starter belfort
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Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
All you can do is make the most of what you have. I immersed myself in life experiences and am grateful for it.
manboychef
Bluelighter
I could spend the rest of my life thinking about the things I wanted to do instead of thinking about the things I want to do...and doing them.
Your lifes not over. What are you doing to cultivate the areas of life you want to add to your life?
manboychef
Bluelighter
Do you have any goals? Short term, mid term, and long term? I would lose my mind and relapse if I didn't have a goal to look forward to.
mrsnowygrainius
Bluelighter
ah man I can relate so much to you, especially the part about seeing old friends, all my old "friends" basically just people I grew up with they all have careers now, recently graduated college living the life.... your right I don't have nothing to say to them. Me I'm still living with my mom no direction in life whatsoever...
I have been on suboxone now for almost 4 years and sure I don't use dope anymore but all it makes me do is isolate from the world. Seriously these past few years I have spent very much alone.... so OP i can relate to you
what helps me is that there are other people out there who are in similar situations as us- also some who are WAY worse off than us... at least we are alive and not in prison, don't know if that will help you, but it helps me
I have been on suboxone now for almost 4 years and sure I don't use dope anymore but all it makes me do is isolate from the world. Seriously these past few years I have spent very much alone.... so OP i can relate to you
what helps me is that there are other people out there who are in similar situations as us- also some who are WAY worse off than us... at least we are alive and not in prison, don't know if that will help you, but it helps me
Interesting.. More indication that suboxone should just be temporary stop where people can stabalize and begin work on their addictions.
For you all that are unhappy with your lives at this point your going to have to change them. When we find ourselves in a situation that we feal we totally fucked up and missed all our chances we can feal hopeless and even thinking about having the life we want can seem so daunting and overwhelming that we can conclude what we want is impossible and we have no chance so why even try.
To accomplish the impossible all we need to do is identify our goals. Then we figure out what big undertakings we need to accomplish to reach these goals. Then we split the the undertakings into smaller projects. Then we split the projects into smaller jobs. Then we split these jobs into easily accomplished tasks and make a list of all of them. Then each day we knock off some of these easily accomplished tasks. As we do this we sit back and watch our lives transform. Once we get all these small tasks done we have done the impossible.
When we have split everything down to easily accomplished tasks and are working on them every day we no longer need to stress or worry about our future as we know where we are trying to get and are steadily working towards getting there so worry does us no good and all we need to do is have patients and give ourselves the daily credit for getting the little tasks done and for changing our lives. There will be no need to feal like a "failure" because we are no longer stalled out in a life we don't want, enjoy or respect. Instead we are working towards our dreams and actively transforming our lives.
This is a forum of divide and conquer. We divide up our desired transformation into easily accomplished tasks and conquer changing our lives.
While we do this its important to keep our minds in the present while transforming our futures. The present is the only thing that's ever real. Most people totally miss it because they are always either stuck in the past or all worried about the future. Its good to work towards a better future, but living in the present is where its at. There is no magical place that we ever get to where we have arrived and are suddenly happy and content. Happiness is an emotion and such fleeting. Each situation in life presents its own misery and pleasure. If we are to focused on the future we wont enjoy a goal when its reached because we will be to worried about the future when we arive to notice.
So once we have the list of easy tasks we can knock them off at a reasonable steady pace and focus our minds on the present to enjoy whats going right now.
Here is a thread that shows divide and conquer working and a great way to introduce yourselfs to living in the moment is mindfulness. Hope this helps.
Creating Positive Change vs. If Nothing Changes Then Nothing Changes..
Post Your Best Mindfulness Resources and Experiences
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Resources
Ziiirp
Bluelighter
@OP
Save up money and move. Don't let your plastic environment deceive and consume you.
Save up money and move. Don't let your plastic environment deceive and consume you.
manboychef
Bluelighter
NSA. Once again you have written something that I absolutely needed to read.
OP: I can understand your situation, as I have A very similar sort of experience in my life. I grew up in an affluent area and while everyone else went to prestigious schools and got fancy degrees, heck some are even still in med school at Harvard and shit like that... Me? Well, I got into IV dope at the age of 15 and spent the next 15 years with a fucking needle in my arm, so needless to say I didn't graduate and go on to the Ivy League or even UF like my brother, father, grandfather and so on... I dont have any of those typical "good kid" accomplishments, shall we say. The funny thing is, that as my contemporaries and I enter our early 30s, I find that they tend to be somewhat jealous of my life experiences and my current life style... and I know that some of this is due to the glamorization of the addict lifestyle in movies and whatnot, but really they're not as happy as you think they might be. That fancy house? Yeah they're underwater and their mom's been paying the mortgage for the past 3 years, the wife has a boyfriend and the husband's fucking the secretary and the kids got a learning disorder....I guess what I'm saying is it's not always as happy as these outside appearances lead us to believe. I find that it's best to try not to think about what you missed out on, but rather the rich experiences that you have had in your life, and as always learn from those and use your experience to build an even better sober life.
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Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
Everyone has a burden of some sort.
cj
Bluelight Crew
Lot of truth right there. Just remember OP that when its all said and done we will all be rotting in the dirt together. Try to move on from here and find enjoyment in the process of improving yourself and your life.
right now, just small goals of trying to go out more to festivals and concerts..try to meet new people, healthy people..ive started riding my mountain bike more around town and trying to join in playing basketball with the guys at the park..thats all i know to do
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
You're doing better than me bro
I don't think I could just join up with people playing basketball.
I don't think I could just join up with people playing basketball.
i wish i could but my career is here..if i moved id have to start all over in terms of retirement etc etc..im almost 40 so
you were just like me when i went on methadone maintenance in my mid 20s..sure i was clean from dope and other drugs but i became a complete recluse living in my methadone induced bubble..i isolated from everyone and i regret that big time.. i highly recommend you try to call up old friends(sober ones) and just ask them if they want to hang out..thats something i should have done back then because u dont want to be in your mid 30s starting rom scratch socially..trust me, dont make same mistake i did..trick is, finding good friends is the hard part, fidning drinking or drug buddies is easy..i ever realized how strong drugs are as bonding agents until u get clean..then its like you see no reason to hang around anyone if you arent getting high..ugghh
oh yes i realize many of my friends are basically miserable in their own way but at least they have life experiences and accomplished things...i dont think and i hope my friends arent jealous of my drug using life..sure, it was risky, dangerous but it was not a fun way to live at all..if i could go back, never would have touched opiates..
i couldnt do it either earlier in my life but now im at the point where i have to try to do things differently..i have to make changes of some sort even if they might not work out or make me feel silly..time is flying, days go by like seconds..its very scary tbh
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
I am really proud of you man. I will have to be more adventurous in the future.
legalizeall
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2012
- Messages
- 967
Fuckin me too man. You just told my story