• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Highly disappointed by Ketamine

A

axl617

Greenlighter
Joined
May 21, 2016
Messages
6
Just venting here. I don't know what I was thinking, because I tried ketamine about a year ago and hated the experience. I want my life to be filled with warmth, love and a strong sense of self, not this cold disoriented alien like feeling that dissociative drugs bring on.

I was tempted though as I have been reading about all the success stories of ketamine and depression. I've been in a bad way lately and desperate to try anything to get some relief. So I tried snorting just 40-50mg of ketamine in 3 dosages over about 1.5 hours (the recommendation is 5 dosages of 10mg, repeated over 5 days for depression).

Well, 3 hours later and I'm having the freakiest night of my life. I already suffer from depersonalisation/derealisation after a bad trip from weed (4 years of heavy use unscathed, never know when you will crack), and microdose of ketamine brought it all out. I just feel 'weird', I feel like I'm slipping in and out of reality, I feel disconnected from my body, I'm unable to feel any love or connection towards my girlfriend and I'm just having a drawn out panic attack unable to calm down. I really felt like I would lose my mind and I have to resort to using my only true friend in this world, the benzo. So here I am, shaken up, disappointed and still miserably depressed :p
 
I can tell you some horror stories about cannabis and ketamine interreaction. If you eat cannabis and do a lot of ket it will knock you sideways.

Happened to me twice.

I believed I was the creator of the universe and was all-powerful, got very aggressive and fought my friends, and ended up fracturing my skull.

Not the best mix, unless ket done in small doses and gradually, weed ideally vaped.

NEVER, EVER, eat a load of cannabis and do a lot of ket. Strongest drug experience of my life.
 
I would dearly love to be able to get hold of some benzo right now, but it seems it's like rocking horse shit.
 
Contact me directly if you want to talk about this man, I feel your pain.
 
I'm sorry you're having such a rough go of it right now - how long ago did you take the ketamine?
 
Moreaux said:
I'm sorry you're having such a rough go of it right now - how long ago did you take the ketamine?
Click to expand...

It's been 3 days now. I'm still in 'weird' town, and surprisingly more depressed than I was before. I don't get it, it has a 75% success rate in the studies about how it treats depressed people. I guess I'm a really weird case.
 
Oh no. I've thought about ketamine for my depression, but my brain reacts differently than other people. Now I'm afraid I would have the same experience you did. I'm sorry. People swear by ketamine, this is disappointing news. Thanks for sharing! I hope this passes for you eventually.
 
Yes - thank you for sharing. I too was looking at ketamine for depression but may hold off. Considering I have the opposite reaction to many meds (cannot sleep on Benadryl - too hyper, Ritalin knocks me out and I sleep the whole day away), I may steer clear of ketamine.

Also, I have been scouring the net looking for resources to help you or explain what may be going on but have not found anything remotely valid or helpful. I'm truly surprised by the lack of resources on ketamine as its been around and widely used for years.

Is it possible the dose was not correct - either to high or too low? Are you feeling any better though now that some time has passed?
 
Dissociatives are probably the worst drug to do if you already have depersonalization/derealization.

Moreaux, if you don't have existing problems such as this Ketamine can be a miracle drug for depression. Medically, they tend to do 2-3 blood transfusion treatments over the course of 6 months and this has been shown to literally cure major depressive disorder in some people who have failed to respond to all manner of pharmaceutical anti-depressants. This is with no follow up treatments as well.

For those who use it recreationally and get addicted to it, they (may) will eventually aquire depersonalization/derealization and anhedonia.

It's important to exercise control because even the most therapeutic of drugs can be abused and actually create more problems.
 
Just joined this sight, firstly after reading this I think i'll never do ket, as I too have had DPD for a few years after a panic attacks for cannabis... It has gotten better, but now struggling with those benzos and relationship's etc, contact me if you need.
 
Ligaturd said:
Dissociatives are probably the worst drug to do if you already have depersonalization/derealization.

Moreaux, if you don't have existing problems such as this Ketamine can be a miracle drug for depression. Medically, they tend to do 2-3 blood transfusion treatments over the course of 6 months and this has been shown to literally cure major depressive disorder in some people who have failed to respond to all manner of pharmaceutical anti-depressants. This is with no follow up treatments as well.

For those who use it recreationally and get addicted to it, they (may) will eventually aquire depersonalization/derealization and anhedonia.

It's important to exercise control because even the most therapeutic of drugs can be abused and actually create more problems.
Click to expand...

If I do try it I would have to have it administered to me in a controlled environment - I don't have a good success rate at taking medication as prescribed, especially if it has recreational value lol. I appreciate the insight - I may not rule it out completely.
 
I think my best bet is to just go back on an MAOI. I have treatment resistant major depression and that's all that worked for me. I wouldn't know the first thing about where to find ketamine or how much to take. And yeah, I'd like to do it in a controlled environment, but who is going to administer ketamine? I mean, really. If I asked my psychiatrist about it, she would look at me like I'm insane. Funny though since they're willing to fry your brain with ECT. They would do that in a heartbeat. I will never ever do that. I would rather kill myself first.
 
Burnt Offerings said:
That's exactly how I feel on dissociative anesthetics, too. Can't stand them.
Click to expand...
Me three. Although I enjoy that weird state. Coming out of a k-hole where you lose all concept of everything is very invigorating, makes me feel like I achieved something big.

I took diphenidine for about 4 months on a daily basis. Smoked it all day, every day. Smoked it won't send me into an m-hole, and I found it a great mood elevator. I never thought about it, but I suppose it was a good antidepressant.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top