• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

Question for all you Opiate experts ..

R

RetiredMedic

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 21, 2015
Messages
41
Location
IN THE RABBIT HOLE
Hi, Its been awhile since I posted here. To give a brief summery. I was on a fairly large pain med dose for 9 years. 30mg Oxycontin x 3 a day 10mg Oxycodone x4 a day and 350 mg Soma x 4 a day. After getting a back surgery that left me pain free (yes pain free) I signed myself into a detox facility and got off all the meds. I was off all the meds for 1 year but went through P.A.W.S. for most of that year. It was much less towards the end.

At almost a year to date I had to have full rotator cuff and bicep tendon surgery. I was all up front with the Surgeon about my past and we had a plan, I was going to take Tylenol and Tramadol (low dose) I am allergic to Ibuprofen so not a option. When I woke up from surgery I was told it was much worse than they thought and they had given my wife a script of percs 5mg I took those for a week. It is crazy how fast that crap got a hold of me again. I went to see the doc 1 week after surgery and was upfront with him on how I was feeling. They moved me to the Tramadol 50-100mg dose as needed. The Tramadol did help me transition from the percs to that without issue.

Two weeks later I end up with a blood clot in my bicep with a lot of pain. My surgeon at this point moves my care to a vascular doc and the pain part to pain management. I started back at the Doctor I used to see for PM. He started me out on Hydrocodone 10/325 x 4 a day and Tramadol 50 mg x 3 a day that was good enough for pain control. I started to feel the old crap feelings I once had coming back. Maybe its just me but I just went through hell to get off off this crap the first time. I weened myself off the hydros, then weened myself off the trams. All I took was Tylenol. I keep going to my PM appointments and filling my scripts. My wife finally noticed on top of the fridge like 300+ hydro's and was like WTF? I told her I like to look at them. play with them and hold them but they have no power over me.

Am I loosing it, she seems to think so...
 
So you're stockpiling pain pills, but not taking them? Hm, well I don't think that's illegal. You might be setting yourself up for a higher-dose addiction later down the line, which is something you should watch out for.

Why do you keep going to the doctor and filling the prescriptions? Just in case the pain comes back and gets worse?

It sounds like you're not sure and you just want to talk this out, which is OK. Congrats on tapering off it and being able to hold onto them and not use - that's certainly progress. :)
 
If your not going to take them then you should get rid of them however you see fit. I think having them there makes it very easy for you to relapse. Its almost an invitation to relapse honestly. Listen to your wife on this one.
 
Well done on getting off the opiates but I do think you're playing with fire having them sitting there. Your willpower must be good but if you've falken a couple of times I think youd be wise to get rid of them. I know I couldn't do it. I could not have a single pill in my house without using it but that's me. Even reading this makes me feel a little jealous and wishing I knew where your fridge is :p and im on a truck loaf of suboxone.

What's the reason you are still filling the scripts and holding onto them if you're totally honest with yourself?
 
sometimes knowing that temptation is the path of virtue is not necessarily good in early recovery....but everyone is different. When the pharmacist mixed up my meds and I finally realized it I dumped a bottle of xanax down the drain....but that is me. I can control my urges but I choose not too.
 
cj said:
If your not going to take them then you should get rid of them however you see fit. I think having them there makes it very easy for you to relapse. Its almost an invitation to relapse honestly. Listen to your wife on this one.
Click to expand...

I think you guys are right on this, I "think" I have the power over them. I also know I could be waiting for that excuses that justifies everything to myself as to why I should be taking them again. I have turned them into my local pharmacy for disposal and honestly it was hard to do. Makes me know I don't have the power I think I do over them. Thanks all that replied. I was one slip from going back. I also noticed when I was taking the meds after surgery they make my temper really bad. anyone else have this problem? just a really short fuse. My dad noticed it first then I stopped and remember after rehab everyone said they noticed how chill I was compared to when I was on the meds. I really never noticed anything. Thanks again for the harm protection I also canceled my PM appointments.
 
AnythingEverything said:
Well done on getting off the opiates but I do think you're playing with fire having them sitting there. Your willpower must be good but if you've falken a couple of times I think youd be wise to get rid of them. I know I couldn't do it. I could not have a single pill in my house without using it but that's me. Even reading this makes me feel a little jealous and wishing I knew where your fridge is :p and im on a truck loaf of suboxone.

What's the reason you are still filling the scripts and holding onto them if you're totally honest with yourself?
Click to expand...

I really cant say, I just wanted to see how many I could stack up? I remember when I was on the meds I was always counting every month..always running short. it was such a cool feeling having a stock pile. kinda strange huh..
 
Captain.Heroin said:
So you're stockpiling pain pills, but not taking them? Hm, well I don't think that's illegal. You might be setting yourself up for a higher-dose addiction later down the line, which is something you should watch out for.

Why do you keep going to the doctor and filling the prescriptions? Just in case the pain comes back and gets worse?

It sounds like you're not sure and you just want to talk this out, which is OK. Congrats on tapering off it and being able to hold onto them and not use - that's certainly progress. :)
Click to expand...


Thanks man, The pain is still there I got a blood clot 2 weeks after surgery and it hurts. Just not bad enough to deal with the crap with pain meds. Like I said I honestly dont know I kinda was going to use it as a excuse to go back but the old feeling of when I was on the meds was so over powering that there was no way I wanted to go back to that. Tapering sucked but was able to do it. Learned a lot in detox. Also learned a lot here from you all, thank you for that!
 
getting rid of my stash has probably prevented my from relapsing at least a dozen times. i would get rid of them however you see fit. if you want to remain opiate free. why have them in your house? that many i mean if your not using them.
 
dude if you are serious about staying clean and sober there is no reason to have hundreds of pills period; don't keep lying to yourself; you are definitely loosing it.
 
I don't think you are losing it, ha, most of us lost it years ago ? but j do think you are setting yourself up for a relapse of big proportions to be totally honest. I would find it impossible to have them sitting there and not have used them by now so your willpower is better than mine, but its probably unlikely it will last forever. Be careful and get rid of them if you can.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top