The EADD I'm Fucked Thread V. Noxious vapours and fanny batter

[BigG]

There's no logic really Scotchy it Just scares me.....always has.

The thought of not being in control I guess..

 

[Eveleivibe]

There's no logic really Scotchy it Just scares me.....always has.

The thought of not being in control I guess..

Scares me for the same reason - the fear of no being in control n possibly having a bad trip.

Evey

 

[Cloudie]

A bad trip, depending on what you experienced, and found bad about it, could be more of a good way to understand the reason as to why it became unpleasant and frightening.

I have had a bad trip, and ultimately decided it was because of the underlying deep rooted thoughts of the past etc

As I'm at peace with myself and past history, I've accepted it, and sort of moved on. I haven't had a bad one since. The brain keeps things deep within the mind, and locks them away, and taking stuff like this brings them to the surface.

Preparation and environment, is definitely the key, as I also found out once.

Probably teaching everyone to suck eggs now though...

 

[BigG]

The thing is I have so many repressed bad memories (not to mention probable PTSD from some of the horrible shit I've seen at work) that I'm probably just a bad trip waiting to happen.....

 

[Cloudie]

I see, and can totally understand where you are coming from!

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

A bad trip, depending on what you experienced, and found bad about it, could be more of a good way to understand the reason as to why it became unpleasant and frightening.

I have had a bad trip, and ultimately decided it was because of the underlying deep rooted thoughts of the past etc

As I'm at peace with myself and past history, I've accepted it, and sort of moved on. I haven't had a bad one since. The brain keeps things deep within the mind, and locks them away, and taking stuff like this brings them to the surface.

Preparation and environment, is definitely the key, as I also found out once.

Probably teaching everyone to suck eggs now though...

What you've got to remember is that hallucinogens are not escapist drugs - they don't blot things out. Instead, they tend to hugely magnify your current state of mind, whatever that may be, so its not advisable to take them if you have any worries or problems. I'm always envious of the lucky few who can drop a trip and always have a brilliant time without having to psyche up for it first.

I'd just like to add that 'bad trips' are very rarely as bad as you might think from the 'freak out' stories you hear. 99.9% of the time they consist of up to a few hours of psychological torture in the form of fear and self loathing whilst curled up in a corner waiting to come down. Loss of ego can be hard to handle, but seeing it as you really are is a valuable experience that forces you to re-evaluate your identify and make improvements where necessary. I've never had a trip I've regretted, even if I hated every minute of it, because there is always something you can learn.

 

[BigG]

My mind is just a mess of self loathing, sadness, regret and witnessed trauma.

Doubt that's the best starting point for a voyage of inner discovery....

 

[breakcorefiend]

englandz, i feel as if the more you keep thinking about this stuff it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy, you need major distraction! if I was in your position i think i would get some mdma and spend a therapeutic evening at home listening to old skool music that you would have listened to when you were younger and going out and just reminisce, or if you are feeling a bit more adventurous maybe take some mdma and go to a club/concert or something, basically occupy your free time with things that you find enjoyable and that keep you occupied and distracted, the less time you have 'in your own head' the better,

Does that make sense mate?

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

My mind is just a mess of self loathing, sadness, regret and witnessed trauma.

Doubt that's the best starting point for a voyage of inner discovery....

It depends how you deal with your issues really. If you're like me and bury your head in the sand by pretending they dont exist, then opening the doors of perception is like unzipping my flies - it sometimes unleashes a beast! But If you face your problems and deal with them sensibly, they can still be kept in check even when you're tripping yer nuts off.

I've only done one trip since cultivating a smack habit - I was on mmt at the time and dropped some mushrooms. Going up was great, but the meth wouldn't let me breakthrough to the other side. It felt like I was underwater and struggling to get to the surface and the light beyond, but i was being dragged back to the depths by a dark spirit. I spent 4 hours in the fetal position fighting it. Powerfully symbolic yet enlightening. However, now I'm off the downers I intend to take anorher journey soon - though I've yet to deal with the deaths of my child and my parents and all the regrets associated with my many fuckups. But what doesn't kill ya, makes ya stronger...

 

[BigG]

BCF- yeah I know mate. I've just had such an awful time last year or so that after a while all you see is negative in everything.

I know what you mean but ironic as it may sound other than my well publicised addiction to pain meds drugs have never been really my thing same with drinking......makes me worse.

I think what I really need is some for of psychological intervention. I've just started seeing this private councillor which luckily work pay for (no nhs waiting lists) and it's helped quite a bit.

I know I moan but I really hope I'm starting to come out the other side of the blackness now. Being on my own doesn't help and I do need to get out more. Its like you don't want to go out cos your depressed but your depressed cos you don't go out.

Seeing this bloke is really helping and I'll get there in the end....at least I have work I suppose.....

Fubar - that sounds scary. I don't think the answer to My problems is more drugs though.

 

[breakcorefiend]

BCF- yeah I know mate. I've just had such an awful time last year or so that after a while all you see is negative in everything.

I know what you mean but ironic as it may sound other than my well publicised addiction to pain meds drugs have never been really my thing same with drinking......makes me worse.

I think what I really need is some for of psychological intervention. I've just started seeing this private councillor which luckily work pay for (no nhs waiting lists) and it's helped quite a bit.

I know I moan but I really hope I'm starting to come out the other side of the blackness now. Being on my own doesn't help and I do need to get out more. Its like you don't want to go out cos your depressed but your depressed cos you don't go out.

Seeing this bloke is really helping and I'll get there in the end....at least I have work I suppose.....

Fubar - that sounds scary. I don't think the answer to My problems is more drugs though.

I totaly understand mate, It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when life keeps dumping shit on yer path! sometimes though even just forcing yourself to see the positives in things helps to bring your mind round to a diff way of thinking,

I got that impression you weren;t a big drug user, and i wasn't suggesting necking a ahndful of pills, I was thinking a couple of medium doses along with some comforting familiar music that reminds you of the good times will really help shake your mind outta the negative thought patterns,

That's great that you are seeing a councillor man, i really hope it helps enable you to move past the shit that's troubling you, i can't imagine dealing with what you went through

I really hope things get back on track for ya mate and if ya ever need a chat or whatever just shoot me a pm

 

[BigG]

I totaly understand mate, It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when life keeps dumping shit on yer path! sometimes though even just forcing yourself to see the positives in things helps to bring your mind round to a diff way of thinking,

I got that impression you weren;t a big drug user, and i wasn't suggesting necking a ahndful of pills, I was thinking a couple of medium doses along with some comforting familiar music that reminds you of the good times will really help shake your mind outta the negative thought patterns,

That's great that you are seeing a councillor man, i really hope it helps enable you to move past the shit that's troubling you, i can't imagine dealing with what you went through

I really hope things get back on track for ya mate and if ya ever need a chat or whatever just shoot me a pm

Thanks mate that's kind of you.

Actually listening to old school rap, R&B and house from the 90a is something I find really relaxes me nowadays.... Yet to do it with a pill though.

The main reason I avoid all stims (even caffine) is that they make my anxiety worse....

 

[breakcorefiend]

Thanks mate that's kind of you.

Actually listening to old school rap, R&B and house from the 90a is something I find really relaxes me nowadays.... Yet to do it with a pill though.

The main reason I avoid all stims (even caffine) is that they make my anxiety worse....

well mate, get yerself some diclaz or w/e benzos n keep them on hand and have a couple bombs of mdma with a beer or two whilst listening to your fave music would do you a world of good, it would be very therapeutic i reckon

 

[BigG]

Actually I thought RC benzos may have been the key to turning things around but it went badly.....very badly

 

[Don Luigi]

I've just finished my little gift. It went well enough with the 1p and I spent at least seven hours in the bath. I did feel like the cocaine took away from the depth of the trip somehow. A much more exciting prospect than benzos for the end of a trip. I will ride it down and go to sleep with a glass of wine and a joint

I've been trying tripping in different environments. I've done a couple of sensory deprivation. Last night I spend as much time as possible with my ears beneath the water. Shpongle sounds like something else underwater

I also managed to scare the shit out of myself only once from a balloon going too near a candle

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I've just finished my little gift. It went well enough with the 1p and I spent at least seven hours in the bath. I did feel like the cocaine took away from the depth of the trip somehow. A much more exciting prospect than benzos for the end of a trip. I will ride it down and go to sleep with a glass of wine and a joint

I've been trying tripping in different environments. I've done a couple of sensory deprivation. Last night I spend as much time as possible with my ears beneath the water. Shpongle sounds like something else underwater

I also managed to scare the shit out of myself only once from a balloon going too near a candle

Fuck me! 7 hours in the bath? Do you look like the bloated corpse of ET?

 

[Don Luigi]

Yes it looked gruesome. I jumped in for a good scrub in the shower afterwards, having been just stewing in my juices.

My skin is incredibly soft now. I might consider courting myself.

 

[BigG]

Fuck me Don....if it's THAT smooth I think id consider courting you

 

[Don Luigi]

Your dowry shall be my weight in silver. You'd be best feeding me, although I have been putting on a lot of weight since I stopped smoking so much cannabis.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Yes it looked gruesome. I jumped in for a good scrub in the shower afterwards, having been just stewing in my juices.

My skin is incredibly soft now. I might consider courting myself.

Two questions:

How did you manage to keep it at an acceptable temperature for that length of time?

How many Wanks did you have?


I once spent a significant portion of an acid trip in a lovely deep bubble bath. The city and landscapes I saw in those bubbles was incredible. I would have stayed there longer, but I had to abort when the hot water ran out.