ponch
Bluelighter
Sit on the washing machine
Call FUBAR. He has an assortment of sex toys ranging from the Cuntpuncher 5000 to battery powered watermelons. He also gives a free demonstrations.Fucking hell! I have an issue...
So, I'm having a 3F sesh this evening and my vibrator is broken (overuse?) and my new one which I have ordered doesn't arrive until tomorrow.
I was hoping it would turn up today but alas it has not!
I'm in a predicament now. How can I have a wankathon without my beloved Mr V. Arghhh.
#firstworldproblems.
I have nothing which vibrates unfortunately!
Looks like I'll have to use my fingeroos and imagine FUBAR naked, covered in Nutella, whilst Sprout smashes his back doors in.
Ooooh, you might be on to something with an app. I'll have a look!
Not even a phone? I'm sure there's an app for exactly this purpose.
Oh no, please don't wipe it FUBS.