• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: M!$TER-ED

Help

I

infectedmushroom

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 14, 2007
Messages
1,371
Location
the bridge, OZ land
Hi guys, I recently met an amazing girl who I've gotten to know over the past week and a bit. The way the universe times things can be quite amazing though, as my mother is currently dying from cancer, and it's an extremely stressful time for myself and family.

I decided I had to tell her about it, and she responded really well - It was a difficult thing to do for various reasons but I'm glad it's done.

We both decided we wanted to take our intimacy to the next level and spent the night at her place. The problem was, I found my member pretty much unresponsive. My heart said yes, but my body said no, and my mind kept interfering, stopping me from letting go. I would get an erection for a few minutes during sex and for a bit longer when receiving oral.

I really wanted to cum to show her how much I like her and to acknowledge her sexiness but I just couldn't, even after promising after a cup of coffee in the morning I'd be good.

I did manage to give her an orgasm through oral, but what I'm worried about is the coming weeks. I want to start our sex life out on the right foot but I'm afraid more often than not I just won't be capable of maintaining a hard on no matter how well she tries to make relax (and she's great at it!)

What do I tell her to make sure she feels appreciated and that it's not her fault I can't come for her? Yes making her cum is part of it but it's only half the equation - she really wanted me to come too. I feel like I can only tell her so many times it's because there's too much on my mind.

I tend to overthink things, and if this is one of those situations where one shouldn't overthink, let me know.
 
Just go with it, man. I think a lot of guys experience this when getting intimate with someone new - and stressing about it only makes it worse.
I think if you are open with her about what's going on - and how troubling you are finding it - if she is the good sort of person it sounds like she is, she will understand.
Being patient and trying not to worry unduly is the best solution.
Frankly, if she judges you for something like this, she's maybe not worth the bother.

Also, the other obvious stresses in your life are likely to make situations like this more likely arise (no pun intended).

Just take your time, try not to put to much pressure on yourself and you should ease into it eventually (again with the puns, sorry about that).
 
This isn't exactly what you're asking for advice on.. but I think you need to slow down. You just met this girl, it's been a week or so? Your mother is dying from cancer, you need to spend more time with her and your family. The last thing you want to do is redirect all your focus onto this girl. What if she leaves you or is doesn't work out? It's only been a week. It's just going to bring you more down and you're gonna have regret for not spending more time with your mom. You have some time before she leaves, she's dying but not dead yet. Cherish the remaining time you have with her. If this girl is this great and the universe IS rewarding you, she will understand and will be waiting for you. If she can't be there to support you, then she's not the one.

My bf went through something similar with his ex when his mother was given one month to leave with a cancer diagnosis.
 
I think that's a pretty tough piece of advice for anyone to hear - but i think it is wise.
Good post, pretty_diamonds.
 
Ive known her for a few months (I really should have mentioned this) because we work together but I only asked her out a week or two ago.

Pretty_diamonds, I think you're really spot on, all though it's tough to read. I'm not putting all my focus on this girl, I just haven't been in a relationship for a really long time so I'm anxious I suppose.

My focus really is at home with my family - and I think what you said SJ is good to. If she's a good sort, we'll get through it. Otherwise, stuff it.
 
All the best mate.
I know you're going through a rough time at the moment, and hope you're coping as best you can.
Always good to have supportive folks around you in times like these, but sometimes a healthy balance can be hard to achieve.
Take care dude <3
 
Thanks Spacejunk! :)

infectedmushroom said:
Ive known her for a few months (I really should have mentioned this) because we work together but I only asked her out a week or two ago.

Pretty_diamonds, I think you're really spot on, all though it's tough to read. I'm not putting all my focus on this girl, I just haven't been in a relationship for a really long time so I'm anxious I suppose.

My focus really is at home with my family - and I think what you said SJ is good to. If she's a good sort, we'll get through it. Otherwise, stuff it.
Click to expand...
That's good. It's just such a sensitive time for you and your feelings are probably all over the place, just remember to take it slow. This isn't the best time to try and get into a seriously relationship, I hope you know that. Your emotions are going to be all over the place and it'll be really hard to be able to cater to her emotionally during this time. You don't want to fall too deep especially if you feel like she's your salvation. Just tread carefully. & I hope that you find peace & that you have no regrets in regards to your mother & family.
 
Aside from the emotional issues that may arise due to your mother being sick, there may be other things to consider.

Some medications and drugs can interfere with your "member" doing what it would normally do.

Just be sure to take that into account if your dick isn't working and you want to know why...
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Thanks Spacejunk! :)


That's good. It's just such a sensitive time for you and your feelings are probably all over the place, just remember to take it slow. This isn't the best time to try and get into a seriously relationship, I hope you know that. Your emotions are going to be all over the place and it'll be really hard to be able to cater to her emotionally during this time. You don't want to fall too deep especially if you feel like she's your salvation. Just tread carefully. & I hope that you find peace & that you have no regrets in regards to your mother & family.
Click to expand...

Tread carefully I will try to do. I tend to be a pretty emotionally balanced person, but this is certainly a challenge. I'm confident in our compatibility, so I'm not desperate to get too deep too quickly. The erection problems I suspect will pass in time as we get to know each other more intimately and time goes on.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top