Tell a shit joke

[Vurtual]

A seal walks into a club..

Wasn't it a lead-filled snowshoe?

(maybe it's long enough to start repeating jokes i might have said earlier...):

What sound do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?


A flat miner

 

[Wispydoper]

Ready for a really dirty joke?




A horse fell in the mud

 

[BigG]

Where's the best place on board a ship to hold a party?

Where the "funnel-be"

 

[zombywoof]

Note to self, when hiring a prostitute whilst on holiday in Amsterdam, never again ask her to "sit on my face" in a 'shilly dutch akshent'

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Note to self, when hiring a prostitute whilst on holiday in Amsterdam, never again ask her to "sit on my face" in a 'shilly dutch akshent'

Oof! Good one

 

[zombywoof]

The job interviewer asked "What's your full name?"
"Its John Fucking Bastard Twat Fuck Cunt PissFlaps Parker"
"Do you suffer from Tourette's John?"
"No, but the vicar at my christening did"

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Q. What do you call the drugs that Consumer and Fubar take that makes them go totally off topic in online forums?


A. Derailleur Gear



(Ok, I'll fuck off now..)

 

[consumer]

Q. What do you call the drugs that Consumer and Fubar take that makes them go totally off topic in online forums?


A. Derailleur Gear



(Ok, I'll fuck off now..)

Haha. Can i interest you in a slightly used Abacus?

 

[zombywoof]

“The Pope has come out and said that only 2 per cent of Catholic priests are paedophiles. Unfortunately, that 2 per cent is their penis.

 

[blondin]

Man walks in a to a bar with an ostrich and a cat. He goes to the bar and orders three pints, a while later the ostrich goes up and orders the same.After they drink up the man goes up and orders another three pints and a little later up goes the ostrich. When the man goes up for a third time the barman says

' Hope you don't mind me asking but you keep coming up and getting the drinks in and so does your mate the ostrich but whats with the cat , he hasn't bought a drink all night'

'Ah' says the man ' I found this rusty old lamp in my atic and when i started to clean it up a genie came out and granted me one wish so I thought about it and asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy'

Gets coat....

 

[consumer]

Man walks in a to a bar with an ostrich and a cat. He goes to the bar and orders three pints, a while later the ostrich goes up and orders the same.After they drink up the man goes up and orders another three pints and a little later up goes the ostrich. When the man goes up for a third time the barman says

' Hope you don't mind me asking but you keep coming up and getting the drinks in and so does your mate the ostrich but whats with the cat , he hasn't bought a drink all night'

'Ah' says the man ' I found this rusty old lamp in my atic and when i started to clean it up a genie came out and granted me one wish so I thought about it and asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy'

Gets coat....

Note to self. Be very specific with any genies.

 

[zombywoof]

Did you hear about the magic tractor

It turned into a lay-by

 

[alasdairm]

^ lol.

what do you call a man who used to like tractors but does not like tractors any more? an ex tractor fan

alasdair

 

[consumer]

^ lol.

what do you call a man who used to like tractors but does not like tractors any more? an ex tractor fan

alasdair

Well that one certainly lives up to the threads title lol

 

[alasdairm]

ithangyou.

alasdair

 

[Arnold]

Have you seen the new film called Constipation?







It hasn't come out yet.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Have you heard about the coprophiliac who drank a chocolate milkshake?

He immediately vomited it back up because he was expecting diarrhea...



(Well, you asked for 'shit' jokes...)

 

[2tincarmun]

teenagers throwing cheese at each other ,well that's mature .

 

[2tincarmun]

Nearly a bluelighter,only took five and a bit years.Not a joke,tis true.

 

[koneko]

What's orange and sounds like a carrot?

A parrot!!!





(a felix shite joke)