Holy shit long 48ish hours that involved not one but two incidents after my wonderful fifth step experience. One of which ended with me taking my little sister to her first AA meeting and her seeming like she is really ready to admit she has a problem with alcohol. I will type more later but I gotta nap, here is a brief rundown:
But this is just such the strange thing about the universe and why I think it has a plan to it:
1. An old ex I had difficult issues (who now has 10 months clean) with restarts controlled contact the day I started writing my 4th step after NC for months. I wanted to slowly restart contact, but was giving her the decision of when to do so.
2. Two weeks later she contacts me again to check up on me the day before I give my 5th step.
3. I give my 2nd 5th step and feel great, go home to see family.
4. Mom is drugged in vacation in Mexico, I am only sober one to deal with it. Mom is okay today but I had to deal with multiple parties in Mexico to coordinate care. I am fucking super serene during all of this.
5. Little sister has total meltdown/bottoms out/says she cannot stop drinking, I am only one present (besides kids who I help care for).
6. Ask little sister to go to a meeting with me today (which was this morning)
7. Contact old female classmate who has 8 years sober and also has two kids. She drops everything to go to meeting with us.
8. Sister ends up seeming to get the message at AA and decides she wants to try it and admits she is an alcoholic who cannot stop drinking, leaves meeting feeling committed, with a schedule, book and numbers. She stays and talks to the women after the meeting (huge sign of commitment, most just want to flee. She is willing to step out of comfort zone and ask for help)
Wow, Wow, Wow.... these are the things that show me the universe does have a plan. If I hadn't done my 5th step who knows if I would have been able to respond so properly, if my 5th step hadn't been planned that day I wouldn't have visited home. If it had been my first 5th step (when I only had a few months clean) compared to my 2nd with almost two years sober I would not have known what to do. Lots of my 5th had to deal with forgiving ex and letting go of some anger, likely wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't known she still cared for me (not talking in a love sense right now) which made it so empowering.
Who would have guessed a few years ago that this fucking drunk, junkie, cokehead would be the only holding and healing the family during several crises. Only reason this is possible is because I am sober and I am only sober due to the program. Don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks about it, shit works for me!
Crazy thing is, I don't want to fucking drink or use over this. I just want a nap, which is what I am going to take.
But this is just such the strange thing about the universe and why I think it has a plan to it:
1. An old ex I had difficult issues (who now has 10 months clean) with restarts controlled contact the day I started writing my 4th step after NC for months. I wanted to slowly restart contact, but was giving her the decision of when to do so.
2. Two weeks later she contacts me again to check up on me the day before I give my 5th step.
3. I give my 2nd 5th step and feel great, go home to see family.
4. Mom is drugged in vacation in Mexico, I am only sober one to deal with it. Mom is okay today but I had to deal with multiple parties in Mexico to coordinate care. I am fucking super serene during all of this.
5. Little sister has total meltdown/bottoms out/says she cannot stop drinking, I am only one present (besides kids who I help care for).
6. Ask little sister to go to a meeting with me today (which was this morning)
7. Contact old female classmate who has 8 years sober and also has two kids. She drops everything to go to meeting with us.
8. Sister ends up seeming to get the message at AA and decides she wants to try it and admits she is an alcoholic who cannot stop drinking, leaves meeting feeling committed, with a schedule, book and numbers. She stays and talks to the women after the meeting (huge sign of commitment, most just want to flee. She is willing to step out of comfort zone and ask for help)
Wow, Wow, Wow.... these are the things that show me the universe does have a plan. If I hadn't done my 5th step who knows if I would have been able to respond so properly, if my 5th step hadn't been planned that day I wouldn't have visited home. If it had been my first 5th step (when I only had a few months clean) compared to my 2nd with almost two years sober I would not have known what to do. Lots of my 5th had to deal with forgiving ex and letting go of some anger, likely wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't known she still cared for me (not talking in a love sense right now) which made it so empowering.
Who would have guessed a few years ago that this fucking drunk, junkie, cokehead would be the only holding and healing the family during several crises. Only reason this is possible is because I am sober and I am only sober due to the program. Don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks about it, shit works for me!
Crazy thing is, I don't want to fucking drink or use over this. I just want a nap, which is what I am going to take.
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doing overall good. I just got back home from going out to seaside, oregon. It's the oregon coast. Went Sunday morning spent the night and most of the day today there. It was fucking beautiful and amazing. Me and my best friend went to the beach and swung on swings and got to look up at see soo SOO many stars it was beautiful and a moment I'm never going to forget, and I'm never going to forget how I felt at that moment. It was just like out of a movie haha it made me kinda be like oh yeah this is why I'm not using and why I don't want to use any more. It was a nice moment to say the least. 
