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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Relapse on IV FENTANYL after 90 days clean

Thanks for the support Ligaturd, I actually have been working with my sponsor and I am totally honest with him, I started being totally honest with him for almost 2 month's now, before I would just lie to him. He is very worried about me and he likes to stay in close contact. Even though he has done everything a sponsor should (I think) , I still just don't have the power to stop, and even though I feel terrible still getting high, and all he does is worry and suggest going to detoxs that he calls to see if they have a bed available, and other stuff, I just can't turn it down, so it seems, I feel stuck, I'm not homeless or hungry or going through anything hard in my life other than just using fent, so there is no major push to stop
 
There can be a major push to stop.... That major push can be and has to be you and only you can push yourself to stop
 
tacodude said:
There can be a major push to stop.... That major push can be and has to be you and only you can push yourself to stop
Click to expand...

That's what I'm struggling so hard with, its so much easier to just re-up and continue getting high, than to take the time to struggle with WDs, go to meetings and work the steps with my sponsor, but I really do want to quit, but it's just too easy to stay comfortably numb bagging dope all day, it's like a fun dirty little secret that gives me an adrenaline rush and brings very little consequences, I feel totally stuck, I love getting high, but just alittle more than I want to quit, so I just keep getting high until I overdose or something? Idk what to do
 
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