7 Days Opiate Free -- Feeling better but not perfect!

[JustAMike]

New member, long time lurker.

I'm a forty-seven year old male who has had an on and off love affair with hydrocodone for several years. Only other drug use has been tobacco (worst of all!) and moderate alcohol usage.

I'm sure my story is a familiar one -- my addiction started innocently enough, when a Dr. prescribed me those nasty pills after I took a spill on my bike and effed up my back. To make the long story short, fast forward a good bit and I was being prescribed 240 10/325 hydros per month 8/max daily per the rx. Now, as we all know, anyone taking 80mg of hydro a day will become dependent on it. For me, it got to the point where those 240 tabs actually lasted me about two weeks, at which point I sought the drug from other venues to sustain me until my next RX fill. Pretty pathetic.

A week ago I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I want my life back. I want my brain to function without those pills.

Day 1 was 'okay' until it was time for bed. Then the RLS hit and I was up and down all night, without a wink of sleep. Day 2 was worse. Night 2 was much worse. On day 3--just as i thought i would breakdown and relapse--I discovered gabepentin and, for me, this medication was a Godsend. Taking 600mg 4x days eliminated nearly all WD symptoms for me.

Today, don't really feel any more physical WDs. A little leg twitch now and then, that's about it. Cut the amount of gabepentin in half.

Mental issues still there though. Hard to focus on tasks. Still thinking about the pills. In fact, right now I'm thinking that it would be pretty nice to have a few. How screwed up is that?

Tomorrow will be day 8.

 

[What was it?]

Day 7 was super tough for me. Day 8, 9 and 10 have been a breeze with a little dexamphetamine for focus and energy plus valium at night. I am going for my second workout at the gym this morning since detoxing. It get's better. Never ever go back to opiates man. Do anything else before that!!!

 

[JustAMike]

Day 7 was super tough for me. Day 8, 9 and 10 have been a breeze with a little dexamphetamine for focus and energy plus valium at night. I am going for my second workout at the gym this morning since detoxing. It get's better. Never ever go back to opiates man. Do anything else before that!!!

I plan to stay opiate free.

Toughest part for me is regaining focus. My income revolves around my ability to write. That means sitting and getting words from my head to paper--well, the screen. Right now I'm staring at the screen thinking of opiates--and how awful they are! Thanks for the support! I want an opiate free life!

 

[P0kemama]

Hello again, JustaMike! I see you started your own thread as well as posting over on the December thread... that's great!! I have gabapentin, but I caved today at about 21 hours into quitting today... the physical symptoms just get me all wacked out. I went through w/d about three years ago, and I guess I have PTSD since it was pretty brutal. I am trying again, as we speak, to quit my oxycodone habit. I too was prescribed for pain management, legitimate pain, but I can't afford the doctor visits, and my quality of life is no better on the pills than off.
Good luck with your writing!

 

[JustAMike]

Hello again, JustaMike! I see you started your own thread as well as posting over on the December thread... that's great!! I have gabapentin, but I caved today at about 21 hours into quitting today... the physical symptoms just get me all wacked out. I went through w/d about three years ago, and I guess I have PTSD since it was pretty brutal. I am trying again, as we speak, to quit my oxycodone habit. I too was prescribed for pain management, legitimate pain, but I can't afford the doctor visits, and my quality of life is no better on the pills than off.
Good luck with your writing!

Thanks, and best of luck to you.

It's crazy how those little damn pills take hold of us. When I was first prescribed them, the doctor said, "Don't overdo it. Those pills will make you want to get up at two in the morning just to call your phone company to tell them what a great job they're doing."

He wasn't kidding. Wish I never took them.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Congrats on your week.

 

[P0kemama]

JustaMike: Thanks for wishing me luck... I need all the positive energy I can garner. They definitely do get a hold of us... it is amazing how it felt when I first started taking them to now... I was so energetic, and really hopeful and positive. Now, because I deliberately did not increase my dosage, all they do is keep me from getting sick, sometimes I get a 30 or 45 minute window of energy and then I do nothing much... I am a little slug. I tried tapering numerous times, without luck. I look back and can't believe I didn't jump off after a couple of those tapers, but oh well.

I am now just quitting without tapering. I bet you are feeling so good about yourself... it is just so wonderful you are clean!! You are an inspiration!!

 

[JustAMike]

JustaMike: Thanks for wishing me luck... I need all the positive energy I can garner. They definitely do get a hold of us... it is amazing how it felt when I first started taking them to now... I was so energetic, and really hopeful and positive. Now, because I deliberately did not increase my dosage, all they do is keep me from getting sick, sometimes I get a 30 or 45 minute window of energy and then I do nothing much... I am a little slug. I tried tapering numerous times, without luck. I look back and can't believe I didn't jump off after a couple of those tapers, but oh well.

I am now just quitting without tapering. I bet you are feeling so good about yourself... it is just so wonderful you are clean!! You are an inspiration!!

I don't feel like I deserve to be an inspiration to anyone. Only 8 days in now. Still low energy--though I know my brain is trying to trick me into thinking I have no energy so I'll feed it opiates, which i refuse to do

 

[What was it?]

I don't feel like I deserve to be an inspiration to anyone. Only 8 days in now. Still low energy--though I know my brain is trying to trick me into thinking I have no energy so I'll feed it opiates, which i refuse to do

I'm feeding it small amounts of dexamphetamines and benzos for the short-term. I'll do anything to keep my hands off the opiates by hook or by crook. Emotionally I have already stabilized massively. It's funny how i always told myself all other drugs are worse than opiates in my addiction, as they 'don't cause organ damage'". Well, if the brain is an organ, then they in fact DO cause damage. Luckily our brains are plastic and can adjust. I've never been able to make it to the 3-month mark sadly as I always tried it without 'anything' / the NA way. It just never worked for me. this time round I will tackle my DOC first and then work on total sobriety. Been working ok up until now.

JustAMike, are you taking anything on top/else in terms of meds/drugs? The low-energy bit is REALLY dangerous in my experience. It led me back to opiates every single time.

 

[JustAMike]

I'm feeding it small amounts of dexamphetamines and benzos for the short-term. I'll do anything to keep my hands off the opiates by hook or by crook. Emotionally I have already stabilized massively. It's funny how i always told myself all other drugs are worse than opiates in my addiction, as they 'don't cause organ damage'". Well, if the brain is an organ, then they in fact DO cause damage. Luckily our brains are plastic and can adjust. I've never been able to make it to the 3-month mark sadly as I always tried it without 'anything' / the NA way. It just never worked for me. this time round I will tackle my DOC first and then work on total sobriety. Been working ok up until now.

JustAMike, are you taking anything on top/else in terms of meds/drugs? The low-energy bit is REALLY dangerous in my experience. It led me back to opiates every single time.

Only medication I'm on is Gabepentin--which helps (me, at least) immensely with WDs. However, it makes me sleepy so doesn't really help with energy levels, but was the miracle I needed to overcome RLS and get sleep.

I personally don't won't to try benzos---especially now since the worst is over.

 

[What was it?]

Maybe you can get your hands on some dexamphetamine from a doctor if they think it's appropriate. Or perhaps Modafinil or Wellbutrin (buproprion)? The latter 2 are less restricted in terms of prescribing law so may be more easily obtained from a doctor after discussing your situation. That could help with energy potentially. Ritalin is another option but personally I don't like it. It gives me a wired feeling and seems quite heavy on the heart compared to dexamphetamine.

I am using dexamphetamine to get through opiate PAWS and it's a breeze. I use anywhere from 5mg - 40mg per day and take breaks on several days a week. This is within therapeutic range (anything up to 50mg usually).

Despite having some fear of an eventual small crash of some form it is helping me change my behaviours as I am going to the gym and socialising etc, hence helping me rewire my brain. Anti-depressants I am also on, never gave me energy.

On my days off dexamphetamine my energy might be a little lower but I still go to the gym etc as it's becoming a habit. For me this seems to work. Still wondering if there is any downside if I do this only for the first month of opiate sobriety but we shall see. After that i want to trail it off and perhaps use it from time to time as a tool. I don't get a buzz from the dexamphetamine, except for maybe being more sociable and being able to focus and drive myself a bit more. I distinctly hate recreational doses of amphetamines. A few years ago I snorted a gram of base amphetamine (no idea what purity) and landed in hospital.....never touched it again. Then with friends have used meth 4-5 times. It usually always ended in an anxiety or panic attack with me racing for the Xanax bottle. Dex in small amounts doesn't seem to carry these issues for me.\

In having said all of this, I surely don't want to develop a problem with dexamphetamine and intend to heal my brain naturally in months 2 and 3 off opiates.

Once this is all done I have to work on my last little substance issue - my regular (but not daily) use of therapeutic doses of benzos. Priority for now is definitely staying off the opiates.

I can happily say I am not abusing drugs anymore, but sadly must admit I am still poly-medicated. Oh well, one step at a time.


Oh and lastly JustAMike.....hell YEAH. If you can avoid benzos, I'd highly recommend that. It's extremely dangerous stuff and in some people it can cause severe protracted withdrawal only after a short-term run on it. Luckily, I have never been in that category. Only ever once experienced severe rebound anxiety after a 10-day binge which I stopped CT. Definitely stay away from that shit!!!

I can understand how Gabapentin is helping you as I also used Pregabalin - Gabapentin's stronger, big brother for acute withdrawal (Lyrica).

Hooorayyy!!! Day 13 off opiates and zero cravings