Citygirl85
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2015
- Messages
- 3
Well I don't really know where to start! I hope this doesn't bore everyone to death! My ex husband and I used to love to use drugs recreationally back in the day, (on weekends with friends or sometimes just us) Mostly cocaine and MDMA and we had such a good time. Never once did I think of us as having a problem with drugs, we were just having fun and most of our friends were the same.
We were both introduced to crystal meth together and loved it, this was our kind of drug! We spent the next 6 years doing it every single weekend. I myself always thought that I never had a problem. Although I loved it, I felt that I was only doing it every weekend because we had it, I always felt I could manage fine without it. I only did it week days a handful of times when my husband talked me into it and I was never happy about it! I suffer so bad when coming down so it made work incredibly tough!
Towards the end of this time I began to notice a big change in my partner. He had lost a lot of weight and his personality had completely changed. He had become noticeably very verbally abusive to me and a lot of our friends had commented on this. Aside from this he also started disappearing in weekdays and not coming home and when he did he would have some ridiculous lie as to where he had been. Every time I approached him to try and figure out what was happening he would just call me a nag and get angry. I was getting so upset as before I felt we had such a happy marriage with no secrets. I remember waking up at about 3am one tues morning and he was no longer in bed. I freaked out looking around the house but he was no where. His phone was off. I went downstairs and saw him in the car in the carpark smoking a pipe. I didn't say anything but the next morning I hid the pipe whilst he was in the shower and I went to work. When I came home he had trashed the whole house from top to bottom looking for it and had obviously found it. He didn't come home for 3 days after that all very remorseful when he did. It suddenly became very clear to me that he was no longer happy just using socially for fun on weekends but it had become a daily way of life for him. Long story short he ended up confessing his addiction which was way worse than I imagined. He had got us $250,000 in debt, was committing criminal activity and had also been cheating on me for the last 2 years with another addict. I was devastated and in shock. Despite everything I was still prepared to forgive and try and help him with his addiction (I always like to see the good in people) luckily for me it was him who ended it in the end to persue his relationship with meth and his meth addict girlfriend. I was destroyed and left with nothing.
I picked myself up and got a place to myself and threw myself into work. He would continue to call for a good year crying his eyes out saying how hed made a big mistake and how he wanted me back which was hard to hear him in such a bad way but I said it was too late now. I continued to party on weekends with friends and was trying to get over the hurt. I ended up meeting my current boyfriend. He was completely different. He seemed so cute and innocent. Although he had taken drugs a few times he didn't like them and he didn't like me doing it even more. He made me feel so loved and safe and gradually I began to stop doing drugs on weekends and lost touch with some friends that did just to make him happy. I felt better than ever and we were so happy and in love. This was 4 years ago. He had a really bad year last year and I noticed he began drinking a lot more than usual, he would want to be out drinking and getting drunk all the time. I would be with him but then he would start not mentioning where he was going and coming home 4am drunk out of his mind on weekdays aswell as weekends. I tried talking to him but he would just say sorry but nothing would change.
It was January this year where he went out one weekend and didn't come home or communicate and I just knew it was meth. I was right. This whole year I have had to put up with him disappearing for days on end and turning his phone off whilst I am awake all night worrying to death. He has changed as a person, he is hanging out with drop kicks and has given up caring about anything important to him. It is killing me to see him like this. We are arguing all the time except when he's coming off a bender and then he'll be crying and saying how he doesn't want to do this and how I'm the most important to him. He will be full of how he is going to change blah blah blah but of course 2 days later he's off again.
I admit that the last 2 months myself I have been back on it on weekends with my friends as a way of trying to make myself feel better. I'm not in a good place. I honestly don't want to give up on him as I love him to death but I can't cope with going through the same thing again especially as there was no happy ending. I would never have predicted that this would happen to him, it just goes to show that meth can take anyone. I can't judge as I do drugs myself but it has never become a way of life for me where I put it above all else. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to tell his family as they have no idea but I know that he will hate me and I don't think they'll be able to help. I'm aware that I'm drinking everyday atm as I'm continually anxious about all of this. Any advice would be much appreciated.
We were both introduced to crystal meth together and loved it, this was our kind of drug! We spent the next 6 years doing it every single weekend. I myself always thought that I never had a problem. Although I loved it, I felt that I was only doing it every weekend because we had it, I always felt I could manage fine without it. I only did it week days a handful of times when my husband talked me into it and I was never happy about it! I suffer so bad when coming down so it made work incredibly tough!
Towards the end of this time I began to notice a big change in my partner. He had lost a lot of weight and his personality had completely changed. He had become noticeably very verbally abusive to me and a lot of our friends had commented on this. Aside from this he also started disappearing in weekdays and not coming home and when he did he would have some ridiculous lie as to where he had been. Every time I approached him to try and figure out what was happening he would just call me a nag and get angry. I was getting so upset as before I felt we had such a happy marriage with no secrets. I remember waking up at about 3am one tues morning and he was no longer in bed. I freaked out looking around the house but he was no where. His phone was off. I went downstairs and saw him in the car in the carpark smoking a pipe. I didn't say anything but the next morning I hid the pipe whilst he was in the shower and I went to work. When I came home he had trashed the whole house from top to bottom looking for it and had obviously found it. He didn't come home for 3 days after that all very remorseful when he did. It suddenly became very clear to me that he was no longer happy just using socially for fun on weekends but it had become a daily way of life for him. Long story short he ended up confessing his addiction which was way worse than I imagined. He had got us $250,000 in debt, was committing criminal activity and had also been cheating on me for the last 2 years with another addict. I was devastated and in shock. Despite everything I was still prepared to forgive and try and help him with his addiction (I always like to see the good in people) luckily for me it was him who ended it in the end to persue his relationship with meth and his meth addict girlfriend. I was destroyed and left with nothing.
I picked myself up and got a place to myself and threw myself into work. He would continue to call for a good year crying his eyes out saying how hed made a big mistake and how he wanted me back which was hard to hear him in such a bad way but I said it was too late now. I continued to party on weekends with friends and was trying to get over the hurt. I ended up meeting my current boyfriend. He was completely different. He seemed so cute and innocent. Although he had taken drugs a few times he didn't like them and he didn't like me doing it even more. He made me feel so loved and safe and gradually I began to stop doing drugs on weekends and lost touch with some friends that did just to make him happy. I felt better than ever and we were so happy and in love. This was 4 years ago. He had a really bad year last year and I noticed he began drinking a lot more than usual, he would want to be out drinking and getting drunk all the time. I would be with him but then he would start not mentioning where he was going and coming home 4am drunk out of his mind on weekdays aswell as weekends. I tried talking to him but he would just say sorry but nothing would change.
It was January this year where he went out one weekend and didn't come home or communicate and I just knew it was meth. I was right. This whole year I have had to put up with him disappearing for days on end and turning his phone off whilst I am awake all night worrying to death. He has changed as a person, he is hanging out with drop kicks and has given up caring about anything important to him. It is killing me to see him like this. We are arguing all the time except when he's coming off a bender and then he'll be crying and saying how he doesn't want to do this and how I'm the most important to him. He will be full of how he is going to change blah blah blah but of course 2 days later he's off again.
I admit that the last 2 months myself I have been back on it on weekends with my friends as a way of trying to make myself feel better. I'm not in a good place. I honestly don't want to give up on him as I love him to death but I can't cope with going through the same thing again especially as there was no happy ending. I would never have predicted that this would happen to him, it just goes to show that meth can take anyone. I can't judge as I do drugs myself but it has never become a way of life for me where I put it above all else. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to tell his family as they have no idea but I know that he will hate me and I don't think they'll be able to help. I'm aware that I'm drinking everyday atm as I'm continually anxious about all of this. Any advice would be much appreciated.
