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one week sober... need help with insomnia :(

custard

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
151
Hello fellow bluelighters.

Here I find myself again, exactly one year later – my final transition into sober living. To summarize – have struggled with addiction to various drugs for about the past 7 years of my life, and quit everything one year ago when I hit bottom. Stayed clean for 7 months, then started smoking pot at night again in the summer, to help with insomnia/anxiety. Since then I’ve been smoking nightly, but a bad and lingering cough was the final catalyst that pushed me to quit for the last time.

I’ve been clean for one week now. I am happy that I made the choice as I know it is what I needed to do, but goddamn I’m exhausted. I’m a mess. I’ve slept very poorly every night this week, I’m hungry all the time, muscle pain is coming back, cough refuses to quit, just generally feeling mentally and physically very shaky. I guess I thought quitting would be easier the second time around.. perhaps in some ways it was, but this rebound insomnia is killing me.

So I’m looking for help. Feeling pretty desperate. I should also specify that I’m not looking for sleeping pill suggestions, but more CBT type suggestions with insomnia. Things I can think about or say to myself to ease my mind when I’m lying there in the dark. The part I seem to be struggling most with right now is falling asleep. It’s easy for me to get sleepy and start drifting off by reading a book before bed or listening to a guided meditation… But as soon as I put the book/headphones down and turn off the light my mind wakes up, even if I was on the verge of sleep.

I sleep with a fan on to create white noise and block out sound, as some of my roommates tend to stay up late and make noise. With the fan on I can’t hear voices, but I do still notice footsteps and doors closing one floor below. Sometimes I think I even imagine the sounds because I’m on such high alert. And white noise has a way of making it easier to think you hear something that isn’t really there. When I was stoned I would easily just pass out, but now that I’m extra anxious and sleep deprived it’s like I’m hyper-attuned to sounds. And my mind then goes and visualizes my roommates partying downstairs, being loud and wide awake and stimulating – which of course makes me even more anxious .. even if it is simply just a couple of people watching tv and moving about the house.

I need to find a way of protecting myself and not being so sensitive to external energy floors away that I can’t see and can barely hear. I think the sounds also upset me more because they are coming from people, so I start to feel irrationally angry, as opposed to neutral sounds you might hear in nature.

This has gotten rather long… thankyou if you have read this far.. so to summarize any suggestion of something I can focus on or tell myself or visualize to ease my mind and stop this horrible cycle would be muchly appreciated. I'm not very concise at 4am but I hope this was clear enough. thankyou.
 
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Hi Custard--sorry you going through the maddening insomnia. I hate that...and I still don't sleep well, just because I don't.

Anxiety isn't fun....of course your're getting irrationally angry, you're exhausted! You just want some damn sleep. I detoxed cold-turkey in jail a little over a year ago. And lying awake locked was bad. I was having anxiety attacks...wishing I could get up and doing something. Sometimes, when you almost fall asleep and don't, force yourself to just accept it...kind of say "Ok, yes I'm furious that yet again, I almost feel asleep and didn't, but I'm putting this in perspective...." blah blah....and try to calm down.

I know that sounds stupid-but it is known in my house, that you never ever wake me up if I'm sleeping unless it's a life or death situation. I don't sleep well, as I said. If someone wakes me up, I swing, then when I'm actually aware I'm awake, I get furious.

All that being said, (sorry for that), I was wondering, do you normally struggle with anxiety or is it just from not smoking weed? And also, excellent work on your one week clean :)
 
Hi Stargazer,

Thanks for your reply. Wow I can't even imagine detoxing in jail.. But yeah.. I do normally struggle with anxiety. It's hard for me to define 'normal', because who I am off drugs is still new to me, I feel like I've removed my filter and I'm much more sensitive to everything - sights, sounds, etc. I think I am an 'HSP' (highly sensitive person) if you have heard the term. So I am still getting used to this new brain so to speak.

But yes with heightened sensitivity comes heightened anxiety... it's extra-bad right now though.. That's good advice - to try and step outside myself and practice mindfulness when I get mad. One thing I also noticed that is fuelling my anger is that it takes me a while to drift off... and I can feel it happening over the course of 10-15 minutes.. and then often I will hear some footsteps or a door close loudly just when I am about to fall asleep and it startles/angers me so much that then I lie there listening for more, expecting to hear more, wide awake, even if the noise was only momentary, but will likely recur again in another ___ minutes...

Thanks for your support though. Need all I can get. Sleeping well for me is also extra important not just for the obvious reasons but because I have a part time cleaning job which requires physical stamina..

I wonder if I might need to start meditating again in a serious way... It's easy not to meditate when I have weed but now all I have is me...
 
Custard, I have heard of HSP, I believe I am too. I can relate to what you're saying and that just about to fall asleep-a door is opened, someone coughs whatever-your environment is changed in any way...you're aware and interrupted. Or get really drowsy, and reach to put the book down...and then you're wide awake.

I have really fucked my life up to learn this-the anxiety has to be dealt with. And a lot (not all, but a lot) of the reason I got high was to self-medicate and stop feeling either really anxious or this deep, scary feeling I was always carrying...I am unable to articulate it, but, it was really bad.

I was put on a non-narcotic mood-stabilizer, that was actually prescribed to me for nerve-pain-and it's helped so much with having all the anxiety/panic. I still feel a level of anxiety, and also still "absorb" what other people feel. That's something I have to consciously learn how to be able to walk away from.

You are going to get through this...please, if it's possible, get help for the anxiety. All the best to you. ;)
 
hi stargazer.

yep, i can certainly agree that with seven years of drug and relationship/sex addiction behind me, i can clearly see now that i was constantly running from myself. or as you put it, yeah, constantly carrying this feeling of dread and fear.

i'm really glad you've found something that works for you. being an HSP is still very new to me, as this is still the beginning of me feeling like myself at this level of sensitivity. who knows it may even increase further. so absorbing others' energies is very tough for me not to do.. especially those with very heavy energy.. i feel like being sensitive to energy but simultaneously protecting yourself from it will be a slow and difficult thing to learn..

i have tried many medications and probably every sleeping pill under the sun. some helped temporarily, but honestly most medications i've been prescribed either come with lousy side effects, are addictive, or numb my emotions. i do take baclofen and dimenhydrinate every night for sleep, and have stuck with these because they don't really change my mental state but do physically relax me a little bit and don't have side effects. i'm at a point now though where i will not take any more mood-altering medication no matter what. i have been through too much and am too easily addicted, and i don't want to give my power away any more. i still feel weak but i feel i have enough of a glimmer of strength to start drawing from my own well... i meditated today for the first time in months and i am going to try and do that daily from now on to help me manage my anxiety..

being on this forum is also helping me a bit. i like sharing and having the support of others going through the same journey.
 
My sleeping has been messed up since I was a kid. I actually would either get sleep paralysis, or sleep somnolence (sleep walking). These both had to do with night terrors. As I got older I slept less and less. After I quit heroin I just would get little spurts of sleep here and there. They put me on seroquel which worked but made my liver enzymes spike. Now I take temazepam 30mg and .5mg xanax at bedtime and I turn a fan on for whitenoise. I shut down all screens and just read a book till I fall asleep. I still wakeup between 4am-4:30am (lately been 3am) and I still wakeup a lot at night, but this is the most rested I have ever been (besides when I was on heroin and xanax).

Belsomra didn't work for me. You might want to try temazepam. Because of my addictive nature, I have my friend be my "pharmacist" and only give me one a night. That way they maintain their effectiveness and I never end up taking too many.
 
Custard...sometimes I am torn about whether its a good or bad thing absorbing other peoples energy or not. I think probably, as with almost everything else, probably finding a happy medium would be great. I am far from the point of even being close to that yet. Its something, as you stated, will be a forever battle.

I often wonder where in life that can be utilized for the good. I work in both the health field and beauty field....both of which require close interaction with others. Since I was a child, people came to me to talk, or for advice-even though I believe most of what I give as advice is listening without judgement. Ultimately, people do what they want to do...but if I'm directly asked, I will give my honest opinion.

I read a book about HSP, aptly titled HSP. I had never heard of it, and one of my bestfriends who is all about solutions, got it for me. It was awhile ago that I read it and would like to get another copy...you may want to look it up. Being sensitive, is exhausting....painful-whether it's because I am hurt because I take things too personally or am feeling someone else's sorrow. I've gotten better about not taking everything personally. I still do as an immediate reaction, but now, I take a step back and say to myself "Don't take that personally, this person is carrying pain from thing I know nothing about-and have nothing to do with me" . Nine times out of ten, I have become very good friends with the person from that. Its been a blessing.

I understand not wanting to take meds....I went through that with chronic pain. I have been on hundreds of different meds, and some, well many gave me such horrible side effects I couldn't take them. Other, I became addicted to...opiates mainly. I've abused benzos, but they're not my DOC. I like ^^manboychef's idea about having them dispensed. Temazepam is a great sleep med, but Id also want them given to me by a trusted friend, so I wouldn't overdo it.

Manboy, I get the sleep paralysis thing...and hear a demonic voice talking to me. I never knew that was a condition, just thought it was yet another individualized thing. I'm glad you shared that. It's scary and creepy as hell.

Custard, I'm glad you have that glimmer of strength in you-I think that by far, is the best medicine anyone can have.
 
Isn't sleep paralysis scary as hell!!!! I always imagine there is some demonic or malicious presence in the room and if I can't force myself to wake up I am going to ahve to lay eyes on it at some point and I may just die of fright.
 
I've been a chronic insomniac since I've been a kid. I think it stems from the fact that while I wouldn't say I grew up in a haunted house, there was something not quite right about it and I was afraid of the dark. My dad would come in furious that I was up with the lights on, or had fallen asleep with the lights on, complaining about how I was driving up the electric bill. Even as an adult at my former second home in Vermont (an older house that creaked and groaned) I would sleep with the lights on when my ex-wife wasn't there.

One of the incentives I had to quit drinking was the fact that I could no longer pass out. Coming out of my last drunk, I bought a couple of bottles of cheap wine at 7-Eleven and thought for sure that would be enough to put me to sleep. But it wasn't. I drank all night and watched the sun come up without sleeping a bit. Withdrawal insomnia can be a bitch. I was up for about 60 hours straight last month. Right after my dad died in 2013, coming out of a particularly bad bender, I was up for about 80 hours straight. I was up for a day and a half, tried to sleep, couldn't, so I just said fuck it and drove straight through from Florida to Vermont (about 24 hours) without any catnaps along the way. I got there about 5am and was up through the following day. I didn't crash until that evening. After about 36-48 hours, I start to feel like I'm having a weird out-of-body experience.

You said you're not looking for sleeping pill suggestions, but OTC melatonin is an effective homeopathic remedy. Also, have you tried watching ASMR videos on YouTube? I find those pretty effective when I'm unable to readily fall asleep. Also you mention listening to guided meditation but you're wide awake as soon as you put the headphones down. How about just leaving them on all night? Sometimes I will leave my TV on at the lowest audible volume on all night.
 
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You're only a week in, you will probably return to a normal pattern relatively soon without the need for any specific intervention!
 
Hi custard. I had the same problem when I first got right. I've also struggled with insomnia since I was a teenager. Now I take Trazadone and hydroxizine but you don't want meds so what I did back then when I didn't want meds I went to a hypnotist. I know it sounds weird but she did her thing and gave me some trigger words and mantras and I was very skeptical but I'll be dammed if it didn't work. I would say these mantras and breathe a certin way and was flat asleep before I knew it. It sucks you have roomate noise. I have no solutions for that. I used to need a fan to sleep now it's a tv. I also suggest acupuncture. It will relieve your tension and help your anxiety and sleep. I love it and would go more if I could afford it. I know these things are out of the box strange but they worked for me at the time. I need meds now but I have minimal side effects. Anyway, good luck with your problem and congrats on getting clean. That's awesome!!
 
was looking for the december 'getting sober/staying clean' thread but i guess it hasn't been made yet? so i'll post here, since there are a couple of familiar 'faces'...

i haven't been on the forum in about a week or so. it's been a tough week. i'm at 3 weeks sober, yet i feel smaller, weaker, and more frightened than i did previously.. even though i thought i was getting stronger. i guess it's a particularly bumpy road..

you've all replied with such honesty and detail and i really appreciate that. i'm exhausted right now though and don't have the energy to respond to what you have said. i will when i am feeling better.

i guess things are particularity hard because my anxiety has had some time now to gain momentum and it's gotten pretty damn bad the past week. i gave up coffee two days ago.. and that was my last vice. my blood sugar is pretty messed up right now (hungry a lot more than before) i think due to stress/insomnia.. so i'm not eating sugar either..

i guess i just feel pretty damn vulnerable because now there's nothing left but me. and my two close friends cannot be there for me due to their own problems. i feel really burnt out and exhausted from 3 weeks of poor sleep and almost daily panic attacks.. and i'm having a really hard time 'taming the beast upstairs'... ie. my constant OCD thought cycling mind..

i feel like deep, deep, down i know things will be okay.. but i'm such an anxious mess (constant hunger now another vicious stress-circle to add to everything) that i can barely see it.

once i have the time and energy i'm gonna try to find some sort of anxiety CBT group i can join in my city.. seeing a therapist for 1 hour once a week does not feel like enough right now..

sorry if my venting is slightly irrelevant.. just felt the need to vent..
 
Hey, that happened to me too! Is that a normal reaction to too much alcohol?

I believe it is. What makes alcohol withdrawal so insidious compared to other drugs is that the brain stops producing natural quantities of GABA because it no longer needs to. But it goes into overdrive producing glutamate, so it can continue to function in the presence of alcohol. When there's no more alcohol there's not enough GABA to counteract the effects of all that glutamate and BAM, you have insomnia at best and DTs at worst.
 
custard: For OCD I highly suggest you try that CBT you are talking about. It will help you separate the original obsessive thought from the action....Even if just delays the compulsion it is working and keep at it. It takes a long time to start breaking the bonds that tie you to your thoughts and compulsions. I wrote alittle about it in the mental health forum.
 
Why did you give up coffee? I have never been a fan of the quit everything at once mentality. If coffee makes your life more bearable at the moment then drink the shit out of it! Same way with cigs you got all the time in the world to quit those farther down the line when you have more sobriety. Are you still sleeping poorly? I know lack of sleep exacerbates my depression and anxiety. Also are you seeking counseling? Quitting drugs is really tough. I think the number 1 thing that causes relapse is a lack of support. We all want to say hey I can do this by myself I don't need counseling,medication, support system ect. When in reality we really do. Keep your head up this drug thing is hard!
 
I am also a recovering opiate addict with sleeping problems. I've been off of heroin since August and still can not sleep an entire night. I used soboxone to get off of the dope and always slept well while on it. It took a week or two before I was ready to kick the soboxone. Once again my sleeping problems arose once off the soboxone. After weeks of waking up between midnight and 1am and staying awake until 10pm I consoled in a friend and told him my problem. He took what he called xanaflex from his grandfather and gave me 5 of them. I have a fairly high tolerance from doing heroin/pills/benzos for a few years so i figured i would take 3 of them Within that same hour I was nodding out watching tv. I fell asleep and slept solid for 8 hours. This was rare for me. Now i only smoke a little weed after taking 1 xanaflex which actually is Tizanidine and i sleep solid every night now. I know you werent looking for a sleeping pill recommendation but this seems to have zero side effects besides feeling tired. But the next morning i actually feel like I got a refreshing nights sleep. Hope things get better. Keep clean my friends.
 
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That Zanaflex stuff is a muscle relaxant/spasm drug (not unlike cyclobenzaprine) by prescription. Makes sense it would help you sleep as drowsiness is a common side effect. It can cause hallucinations in some people like me. There are much more effective sleep aids out there especially if by prescription.
 
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